Life through my eyes......

in this house, there's some hoes in this house. Don't you just feel like doing the perculator (I wish I could) not something that I could pick up on well enough to do.

I'm at work, today is better than yesterday, I didn't get work till about 12:15 am, and yes I was at work this morning and I was only 5 min late (Get it boo). Jammin on the twos (meaning my earphones to AOL radio) I started thinking about how one of my girls always calls me a freak.

Aight I know you're like what HL is a freak...nah boo I ain't no freak. I don't get down with just anyone or anywhere. A sista gots to be more careful these days, plus I really am a good girl. I think being in college somewhat created the more sexual advanced portion of who I am though. Plus I can honestly say that I've only have about 2 bad sexual experiences well three if you count a minute man LOL and I don't. Anywho.....so am I really a freak?

I mean i like sex...no wait I like good sex. That sex that has you knocked out after you're done or rummaging through the kitchen cause you got the munchies, or the fact that your legs feel as if they are full of liquid and you can't even walk. Yea I've had that before and you know what I realized very rarely has it occured with someone that I didn't care about. I realized that the mind blowing sex that I have gotten has in fact come for people that I was on the fence about loving..does that even make sense. I mean isn't sex so much better when it's with someone you love....no cliche intended.

Cause it's not just about sex anymore it's about love and making sure that each person is satisfied after it's all over. I mean after it's over you both feel content, you cuddle, you talk, you laugh, with someone who you are just banging (I would use another word but I'm working on the foul mouth lol) it's wam, bam and sometimes you don't even get a thank you mayum. Plus they be actin like you owe them something....when in fact they should have thanked you cause you can see why climaxed so quickly (I mean yea I'm cute and what no but can you wait a sec). Talkin about ohh so you cute I just couldn't help myself..yea you could think of something gross like Star Jones naked (lol) in the words of Foxy Brown on Star Jones..it pays to pay less LOL anyway that was madd random

So anyway I've realized that yes I am a bit more liberated or should I say open minded in my views on sex and all of the things that it encompasses. But that doesn't make me a freak. I know what I like and that's a good thing. I also know that not every Tom, Dick or John will get this and I've also realized that every woman has a lil freak in em. It just takes the right man to bring it out of her.

And yes I know that I'm professing to love God...I do. I didn't say I was perfect....but you best believe that I'm focused on doing better but that won't change that I like sharing my free time with an attractive person of the opposite sex.....it just means that I'll be working on saving the freak in me for my husband (lol)


Posted at 3:13pm

..for me to move out of VA. Sometime last week I decided that it's about time for my living in VA to slowly come to an end hopefully it will officially end somewhere around September of 2006 but perhaps it will be before then. (So if you are in SC or GA let a sister know about some job openings lol)

As the months have been winding down I've decided that I need to stop making excuses and finally own up to making some changes in my life. So with that in mind I'm bout to do some damage and clear some people and unhealthy things out of my life. Also knowing this has made me come to grips with how I really feel about people I've dated or are dating. I mean we all know when it's gonna work out and if it's just a time filler until someone better comes along. So from now on there will be no more stringing myself or someone else along. I mean if it's about sex then it's about sex if I think it can be more then that's fine too but there will be no more games.

I'm also coming to grips with how I feel about the way my ex and I parted ways. I realize that I did have some issues. I mean I was what 18 or 19 when we first started dating and I was in college so of course the whole partying issue came up and I fought the fact that yes I wanted to experience life and what not but hey I did all that and now I need someone who is motivated into doing some big things in the world like I am and will be doing. I don't need some boy who thinks he is a man. When I have a good man I'm gonna let him know and be down to ride which is how I've always been but you know what I mean (lol) Can't let a good thing go to waste.

With that being said I emailed the ex and informed him that since he knew we still care for one another would it be healthy to see one another if we weren't ready to discuss creating something with one another. I mean the terms of our breakup weren't negative so that's not the issue. What I know is that, when and if I go down there...I will be tested and I'm not sure I can pass (smile). I know I'll want to talk and all that and last time we had that discussion I told him that he would bring it up cause then I would know that he was ready to discuss it. Trust me I know he'll bring up the distance thing and how we might be in different places, which is why I'm not trying to even go there. So to make a long story short do I really want to go down there since I know how I might react once I get down there. I mean we will be around one another for a whole 3 or 4 days......hmmm what could happen. I know what could happen and I want to nip it in the bud so I'll know what I'm getting into before I go down there or not go at all.

I can deal with still talking to him on the phone and via email, but what I can't do is know that I have feelings for him and put myself out there when the feelings are not mirrored. I'm past that. So I'm gonna chill and see what he says. He's gonna have to make the final decision on me coming to visit and I'll respect whatever he says. We are both adults. But I must admit I'm surprised he asked me to come visit (but I informed him that I hope he didn't feel as if he has to extend the invitation) but then again he might think I'm over analyzing things which could be true. Cause a visit could be just that a visit...but with me it's so much more lol.

So I gave myself a deadline of Jan 01,2006 to put up or shut up. Meaning deal with navy guy and finally confront that perhaps my willingness to be in a relationship overshadowed the fact that we just might not be meant to be together and that we are better as friends. And also work towards becoming better spiritually,mentally, physically, finacially, and emotionally. Next year I'm focused man and you better not mess with me unless you are on to doing big things.

I'm FOCUSED MAN....................finally

The time stamp on this is jacked up (posted at 2:13p.m.)

The holiday has come and gone and what can I say. I got lots of sleep, ate some great food (especially the peach cobbler), had tons of fun with the fam and got a flat tire on 95-S at night. Yea it seems that when it rains it pours.

I left on Monday to go home cause my car had to be at the dealership on Tues morning to get it checked out cause I kept hearing this air come through my passenger window...to make a long story short they kept my car half the day and it still isn't fixed. So we left on Wed to go to SC..my parents left before me since I had to pick up T and my goddaughter. We get on the road at about 1:30pm and we are almost at 95-S when I get a ticket for speeding..great strike one. So needlesstosay that messed up my mojo so we stopped to get something to eat before we got on 95.

I'm driving while they are sleeping and listening to music when everyone wakes up and then we hear this noise. I say "what the heck is that" maybe it's a sports car engine then the best friend (T) says that is so loud i was like yea they coming up beside up they are making alot of noise then she says no I think you got a flat tire..I pull over and I see all this smoke coming up from my back tire. Once I get out I see that I had been riding on my rim for like 2 min and my tires was smoking. You could smell the rubber in the car, outside the car, probably down the interstate. So I called mom and got the Triple A number and they sent someone out to change the tire. In the meantime we are entertaining my god daughter who is 9 months old and was somewhat happy to get out of her car seat. Then my sis and best friend mention that the house on the other side of the fence we are on looks like it belong to the Chainsaw Massacre man...great. Something else to make me frightened of being on the interstate in total darkness. The only good thing is that it's 95 so cars were coming and going the whole time we were there.

Finally the Triple A man came, we conversed, he was a white guy and reminded me of a wanna be Justin Timberlake..anyway...he fixed the tire. It looked like something had gotten caught up in it and ripped it to shred (not literally) all I could think of was Jeepers Creepers. So we finally get back on the road after stopping to fill up and make it to Myrtle Beach at around 11pm so I was tired.

Thanksgiving was great.....we ate around 3 and just sat around and talked. Then we retired to our hotel rooms or whereever we were going. Fri morning the whole family had breakfast in our room..we had a three room suite with a living room. Yea real nice mini vacation. After breakfast we went to Walmart and got a new tire on the car. Man that place was a mad house. Sooo many people I thought we were never going to get out of here. But I'm glad I wasn't there during the madd rush that morning. I was too tired to get up for the early bird special...plus where was I going to go on a donut?

That night we all ate a wonderful dinner of gumbo made by my cousin in the navy in my aunt's room. Then after dinner we played charades (spell check). I tell ya play that game with your family and you will realize how funny some people are. For example my mom had to have her team guess Micheal Jackson. If you know my mom you would be like yea right but she did her own lil rendition of the moonwalk that had me crackin up way after the game was over. I also noticed that some family members aren't too good at acting out expressions...let's just say that next year I will make sure they are one a team together lol

Sat was the day that everyone checked out and said good bye until next year or another time before Thanksgiving that we would see one another. We left way before check out at 11am cause my Dad had to be at choir rehersal that night. So we are in NC and out of no where this lil dear comes across the road....yes...Dad hits it. And even though it was a lil dear that thing tore up my moms bumper on her Toyota Tundra.....but that's the good news it was only the bumper plus we were witnesses and her insurance covers it. No harm , no foul.

While away in SC I talked to a friend well I guess he use to be more than a friend but we parted ways and still converse on occassion...needlesstosay I'll be going to NC to visit him in a couple of weeks probably after New Years. I also realized that the partial reason as to why I have so much confusion in my dating life which I don't call a life more like an adventure in the land of stupid ville.....but I digress. Back to what my problem is.....I have gotten over our initial parting of ways but I haven't gotten over how special he made me feel and I've always wanted that back. But I've informed him that if we ever crossed that bridge..meaning talked about trying to work on a relationship again..he would have to bring it up. So this visit is just a friendly one...no hard feelings...no soft ones either lol

So I'll keep ya update.

it's back to square one. He trippin', she trippin'. Toni Braxton has addressed the issue of people being in love trippin'...I feel ya girl. But what about when you aren't in love and the person you are with or talking to is trippin'. I mean you haven't even had the talk about "where you are" as far as being together . But yet and still this person wants to cop a "tude" cause you didn't call or they haven't talked to you all day. Not for real. If we don't even know where we stand or if I can stand you for more than a day how can you get mad cause I didn't pick up the phone to call you. On top of that do I get angry cause I haven't heard from you...nope. Ah well when it's all said and done it's just that......done. So this entry today will probably include alot of rambling cause that's what is going on in my brain right now....rambling.




So life is life....just living it and trying to stress myself out in the process. I mean why do I stress when all it does is make me worry about every little thing that is somewhat beyond my control. I mean I've gotten emails over the past few weeks that have caused me to look at every single bump on my body. For example I was in the mirror yesterday putting in my contact and just the day before I read an email about this woman's eye that got eaten out by ants while she was in the hospital recovering from surgery. Back to the story...so i'm in the mirror putting in my contact when I feel that my eye is soft like it's about to cave in so I'm like oh Lord! I'm gonna die with one eye, some bug done crawled in my eye and is eating it from the inside out. Needlesstosay I recovered once I found out that it was my contact that hadn't fully moved over that was causing the side of my eye to feel soft (wow, lol) blonde moment! After comparing the softness of the eye to the other eye I was satisfied that I was ok. Sad that everytime I see an email about sickness or what not I take that into consideration..I know I can't worry about being sick cause I would be sick just from worrying. AH WELL

I can remember when I was young and I use to have to pee all the time. I mean I couldn't hold it. We would go on road trips and my parents would have to pull over and stop just for me (lol) they got tired of it and I was told we would stop once (depending on where we were going most of the time to NC or SC) and I was to pee when we stopped and before we got on the road and I couldn't drink anything. So I would just go to sleep or read to keep my mind off of having to go to the bathroom lol. That's since changed but I still can't seem to hold my pee like others can. I mean when I say I have to go pee I got to go and you better move or pull over to the nearest rest stop or bushes so I can relieve myself (I know, I know TMI ah well) Most of the important stuff is thought of while in the bathroom most of the time in the tub...cause you really relax and can just meditate on how relaxed you are.

Ah well I digress...back to more rambling. So i'm ready for Friday to come not just cause we are having a sleep over but because I can finally look forward to a week off from work. A week to sleep, eat, be merry and enjoy the company of people who I love very much. I mean it's this time of year that makes you realize how important your family and true friends are. Speaking of true friends....how many of those do I have? I don't think I can count on 3 hands how many tru friends I have maybe 2. Then again why do you need to have a lot of friends that's where trouble comes in to play. I mean sometimes I find myself wondering who is really my friend. I know I'm guilty of saying some things but I always make sure like Bre (ANTM) that what is said about that person when they are not around is said to their face. I mean I'm your friend I ain't got to lie Craig. If you doing wrong you doing wrong if you acting stank you actin stank and if I am I would hope that as my girl you would tell me as well. There is nothing to hide, plus I think that if you are brave enough to say to my face something that I've done than to go behind my back then more power to you. I need someone to tell me what is going on with me, cause sometimes I don't even know. What I do miss though is that friendship I have with my bestfriend. I mean we talk like once or twice a week and I'm the godmother to her lil girl (who is the cutest thing since my sis had my nephew lol) but I miss when we were in school together and we would eat lunch together or ride the bus home or even come over each others house since she lives like 2 blocks from me.

I miss knowing that day or night she was there for me and I mean that literally. I've tested her on it many times (lol). I miss just being around her and knowing that even if we were angry at one another sooner or later one of us was going to come around and we might not even have to say what we fought about but things would be back to normal. I miss her being my sidekick, because once we graduated from HS she chose a diff life. We now have seperate friends some of which are ones that we know colelctively but some are ones that the other doesn't know but have mentioned. It's funny how you grow apart then grow back together. I've established friendships that will last a life time. I have a bestfriend in my buddy and I love her to death she and T are two diff people, but they each help me when I need them. Needlesstosay I miss T and each time I'm home I make sure that she knows that I'm still her sister (just born to diff moms, but we call each others moms mom) and that I'm always down for her as she is me.

So when it's all said and done or written down...what is there left to be said or done. Nothing except a bunch of randomness.

..I just want to get to know you. That's what I've been thinking to myself for the last year well ever since I graduated from college (May 2004). I'm so intent on having a career, having goals that sometimes I have forgotten the Honey Libra that I have and many others have grown to love. I forget that I still have to close my closet door before I go to bed and that I have to eat my candy in even pieces (yea I know) or that I dont' cry when I sometimes need to. As this year is coming to a close I realize that I have changed and sometimes just when I try to act out like someone else I see the real "Honey Libra" come out and make herself known.

I'm sarcastic, I'm sensitive and I love to be in love. I hate when people underestimate me. I have been in love for real for real once I think the rest was just a trick of my mind. I want to be in love for real for real again. I cry sometimes at night. I want a man that loves me just as much as my dad loves my mom if not more (smile) I want 4 kids (it use to be 2 but I love them so much I wanted more) I also want to adopt children. When I was hurt in the past I tried to substitute what I had with him by acting like I didn't care and dating lots of guys (I know not like me) sometimes I still find myself dating too much just to get over someone who has done me wrong

Sad to say but I think most of my unhappiness has come becuase I forgotten how to pray and have actively stopped seeking God's will. I know we all have those moments where we pray but I know God is disappointed in me and how I've been handling things so from here on out I'm listening God, this past year has been an eye-opener and a true learning experince. I vow to do better. I know it's going to take time but I'm sure he knows that. But in the meantime I have to make a conscience effort to change.

Although all of this is who I am or what I've become I'm realizing that each negative or positive aspect of my life has made me who I am. I mean the Honey Libra that makes my parents proud to have me as a daughter and my sisters love me cause I'm their sister. The Honey Libra that is a great listener to her friends and a wonderful companion when she is in a relationship. I'm not going to make excuses for anyone nexy year. If you don't love me then oh well, you've just missed out on the best thing you could have ever encountered (lol).

So next year I'm slowing down. Taking the time to appreciate who I am as a person, a daughter, a woman, a friend, and as me. People love me for a reason lol so next year I'm gonna have a clear vision of who I am as me and love me even more than someone else can love me. Cause if you don't know who you are and love yourself then how can others come to know, love and understand the real you. I'm going to learn how to become that person God wants and needs me to become.

Take time to smell the roses.

So Friday at work I'm chilling talkin to K-shine about my latest thoughts on what is going on with old friend and the Green Eyed one...when she informs me that we as females (mainly me) shouldn't make excuses for men. Ahhhh, so true. I mean if he doesn't call, why am I automatically thinking oh he's busy or he's been working all night. No if he wanted to call he would call, even if it was for 5 seconds to say hey I'm really tired but I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you.

Green Eyes does that and I'm beginning to think that's why my guard is slowly coming down. Of course it's not coming down as fast as it usually does, which is a good thing. Cause I've been down this road before and I'm not trying to do it again as a matter of fact I refuse to do it again. So although we've been spending alot of time together for 2 months or so I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch.

So why old friend informs me that I have not talked about him on my BP page and I inform him that he hasn't done so on his either...I tell him that it doesn't take that long to change one sentence and when he is ready to be with me then come talk to me, and then I asked him does it matter that everyone know that we are together..he says no, we know. I said Ehhhhhh WRONG ANSWER. I mean dang what the hell does that say about how I feel, I should tell anyone. And he knows how I am about my feelings, I mean I'm a Libra I get sentimental I like to cuddle and all that and here he is telling me that it doesn't matter that others know about me supposedly being with him. Ok since you feel that way, we'll see if you notice that I'm no longer apart of your inner circle. I will not call I will not email I will not attempt to show you that I care about you as a person or a someone who I would want to be in a relationship with. Since nothing rubs him any kind of way these days, he probably won't even notice.

I mean are you really that stupid that you would think that as a female I wouldn't want people to know that I'm crazy in love with you......to which I say that I'm not as crazy as I thought....score one point for the lust demon for disguising itself as love. So as of now I'm admitting to myself that he's not ready to be with me and if he is then would it really be this hard....perhaps I'll never know cause I'm done.

So many times as females we see this occur when a guy that we are attracted to is with someone else that we seem to deem unworthy (not ever thinking that we might be unworthy lol). Now this person might be perfect for him but for the most part we believe that we are better than she is even if it's just the fact that our hair is longer or we don't have a zit on our forehead.

Of course I've never been the fabulous one in the bunch..meaning when me and the girls use to walk down the street everyone would stop and stare. I am the one who is the thick one who guys yell at because i have a big boota....yea boota (lol) In time I have come to grips with this and am very happy with the curves that God has given me. But I do sense hesitation when I think about what my lil girl will go through when she realizes that at the age of 13 she is a brickhouse.

I'm in no way shape or form saying that I am unhappy with how I look or am unhappy with what God has given me. Because I don't think that everyone can find everyone attractive if that were the case then this world would be freakishly annoying. What I like and find attractive someone else might find replulsive. I think is the joy of dating...finding and eliminating what is a necessary evil. I mean we date beause if we don't date how will we ever know that we hate men who are shorter than us or who eat with their mouths open. How will you ever know that just because a man opens the door for you as you are walking into a restaurant doesn't mean that he knows how to eat pasta or that he knows the correct wine to go with that pasta (that's for K-shine)

In coming to grips with myself and realizing that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made and there is no other like me on this earth..I can honestly say that when I look at a guy now and find him attractive but he is "bunned" up with another female who I find is somewhat different from him. I check myself and remember that there is someone out there for everyone and that just because a guy won't talk to me but will talk to my girl doesn't mean that I'm not beautiful. It just means that there is someone out there who thinks that I'm the hottest thing since PB and J (smile) he just hasn't encountered me yet

"In the quest for love...I found myself" (I think I created that, not too sure) lol

another day another dollar earned and another dollar spent on bills and nothing of pleasure. Oh the joy of being an adult. So I'm bored out of my mind, I don't think that's the correct word. So I came across this website that is hilariously funny...it gives you some things to do while you are in a meeting at work. I don't know if I'm brave enough to do them, but it sure did make me laugh.

1. Take notes in finger paint.

2. Bring a huge jar of Vaseline to the meeting. Display it prominently.

3.At sensitive moments, blow your nose raucously. Apologize for your sinus condition.

4.Laugh uproariously at a quip that was made 2 or 3 minutes ago. Say, "Oh, _now_ I get it!"

5.Wear a disposable paper face mask. Tell the group: "Hey, you don't want to catch what I've got!"

6.Check your watch very regularly, every 30 seconds or so.

7.Make a face like somebody beside you farted.

8.Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the _real_ reason this meeting has been called.

9.Slowly slump in your seat. When you are about to fall off the chair, suddenly straighten up.

10.Apologize profusely.

11.Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table.

12.Complain loudly that your neighbor won't stop touching you. Demand that the boss make him/her stop doing it.

13.Have someone deliver a large cardboard box to you in the conference room. Apologize while you sign for it. About half an hour later, have a different person deliver another one.

14.Remove your shoes and socks. Lay your socks on the table, turn each one inside out, and inspect them carefully. If anyone says anything, tell them "doctor's orders."

15.Roll your eyes at almost everything the boss says. If addressed directly, adopt a cowering posture and stammer pitifully as you reply.


Final Thoughts: I don't know about you but I'm tired of being someone's lil minion..I need some minions of my own!

So many times as single individuals we realize that dating is all a game. Plot to talk to someone, figure out how to get their number, wait to call or see if they call, then determine how to either sleep with them or try and make something out of it. I know that as a female I tend to sometimes compare dates or realize just what I really want out of seeing and spending time with someone.

I think the most memorable date that I've had actually was really a weekend. I was a sophmore in college and my then boyfriend came to visit me. He arrived on a fri after I had gotten out of class and since it had been a couple of weeks since I'd seen him..I was excited. So we spent the whole weekend cuddling, watching movies. He met my friends, we went to dinner and we then went to the homecoming game. It was a really nice time because neither one of us pressured the other one in spending the whole weekend with them. I think the fact that we didn't live near one another also added to the fact that the weekend was such a success. Needlesstosay we enjoyed many weekends after that one and although we are not together we are still good friends....but I do admit to missing him.

I think that sometimes I compare the guys I'm dating to him and of course that's a bad thing but when you've had better why would you want good. So it's not just about comparing it's about knowing how I like to be treat and I treat someone that I'm with. For some odd reason I always get the weirdos who think that just cause I'm not ghetto and I have home training that they can stalk me into staying with them. One guy I was dealing with told me that he just wanted me to have his kid even if we were never together. I told him I'm not agreeing to have children by someone who I couldn't even see myself waking up to the next morning LOL..the nerve of him.

Most of the drama I encounter is probably partially my fault. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt even when I know they don't deserve it. I don't like arguments unless I feel that they are warranted and trust me I will hold one until I get my point across. At the same token....I know when to be quiet or admit that I'm wrong. As a libra I love to be in love and feel at my best when I'm in a relationship. Sad I know but what can I say....i love the idea of having someone who completes me even though I tend to think I complete myself (smile) When you're in a relationship and things are going good it seems as if the world is smiling on you and things are peaches and cream even when you know they aren't.

So at this point and time I've decided to not worry so much about finding the one. I mean I'm 23 and although some of my close friends are married or have children I'm beginning to realize that God has something big in store for me...I just have to be patient. But of course that's something that I'm working on so it seems that I'll be old and living with 500 cats before I get married. The nice part is that the man I'm suppose to marry is going through as much turmoil and headache as I am..wondering and waiting where his queen is. We just haven't crossed paths yet.

All we want is someone to love us...as much as we love them. Someone who will always be there.

Man this weekend was one of those weekends where you are so glad that it came cause everyday was filled with fun, drinks and good times. I know it's cheesy but what can I say, me and roomie did it up this weekend. I was twisted fri night and sat night, so let's just say we had some funny moments.

So Friday we each got of work and decided to hit up Adams Morgan with some of the roomies co-workers. One of which was the one we went out with on Halloween night and his cousin. So we get home and have to decide on what to wear. After we got dressed we headed out there to see what was poppin in DC on a Friday night. So we arrive in DC and now we have to find a parking space.....MAN!!! When people say that parking at Adams Morgan isn't a joke...they got that right. Tell me why we got down there a lil bit before 9 and we didn't park until exactly 9:45 on the dot and when I say on the dot I mean on the dot. I remember what time it was cause were both like if we don't find a space by 10 we leaving. On top of that where we parked was near some bomb houses. I'm talking Embassy Castle looking houses. The ones that you only see on the lifestyles of the rich and famous. So yea we were gawking, I mean I knew there were some nice houses in DC but dang....I tell ya.

We meet up with the guys and the one person we knew introduced us to everyone else. Got some drinks had some shots, then the guys told us there was this place across the street where there was a live reggae band with no cover. We were like how come we didn't go there first, we had to pay to get in here. Now what man in his right mind wouldn't even offer I mean is that even proper etiquette....I'm not saying that I can't pay my own way. But I mean if you as a guy invite me out you could at least act like you want to pay (lol) So we are leaving to go hear this live band and roomie bumps into this guy well he bumps into her. She says did you do that on purpose or were you just tryin to touch me, he was like it was an accident but now it's on purpose..I was like wow that's corny (that's what I was thinking), on top of that he looks like a broke david banner before he lost a lil weight and he had that goatee thing goin on and not in a cute way. So he follows up across the stree, never once asking if he was intruding on what not. We find the guys in the back of the club and the guy decides to buy the roomie and I a drink. Meanwhile the david banner look-a-lik was like do you mind if I chill with you guys..we were like huh lol then he asks up if we want to have some of his remy he brought it in. We were like you brought your own bottle of remy to the club..not that is not only gangsta that is straight up ghetto. Who does that? He trys to act like he was with us which was annoying, the out of the corner of my eye I see this cutie with the double strand twists...they are almost down to this shoulders.....so I proceed to go over and play with his hair.

My girls know how much I love a guy with nice hair and nice lips and this one had both. So I'm playing in his hair, yea it was some of the liquor that brought out this boldness in me, cause I'm usually a shy person when it comes to all that. Anyway I'm playin in his hair and he was talking to his boy or whatever then he turns to me and smiles and I'm like I love your hair and he was like I like yours...the locks are coming out pretty cute. Then he asks me my name and all that stuff..you know the get to know me stuff that isn't too deep. So then his boy trys to talk to roomie, but he wasn't as cute as his boy so some other dude pulls on her and this one was a go..so she talks to him. I'm chatting away being the somewhat social Libra I am, the alchol is helping and he says he likes my eyes..they are inticing. Cute, haven't heard that before. To make a long story short....well shorter (lol) they guys that invited us out kinda felt left out, but I mean you aren't doing nothing so of course I'm gonna converse with someone else. Then I went outside cause old friend called and he was in florida so I had to make sure he was aight. We go outside and along comes the guy that roomie met. He was a cutie, had a lil baby face and all that. So they chatting away, I'm on the phone and we decide to hit up this lil lounge spot called tryst. Went in there had a drink or whatever and chatted....waiting for the night to come to an end or whatever might occur. Then the phone rings and it's ooKKK (his real nickname is KK, but I think ooKKK is funny) he is the cousin of the roomies work friend and one of the guys that we met on halloween and also the same guy who said my back felt sheer (corny) anyway he was asking where we were and I told him we were at this lil lounge, he asked me where the roomie was cause the other guy wanted to know I was like she is with me, where else would she be, we dont' leave one another, especially in DC. So he was like aight we'll be down there and I'm thinking no one asked you to come down here.

What I forgot to mention was that when we were at the live band place he left to go outside while I was in the bathroom so I came back and a lil while later I asked where he was and his boy told me that he was outside. So I called him and asked him where he was. He said he was outside he had to step outside for a minute. Then he comes back in and says he didn't think I was feeling him and that was why he stepped out, I was like wow that's corny and just cause I called you, you came back in. He was like well I thought I had the wrong idea and I'm thinking this dude really left cause I won't chillin with him like that..who said I was gonna be all up under you. Anyway so I guess he got over that enough to think that I wanted to meet up with him after I was in tryst. So we go outside once we are ready to go after ookkk and his boy had called like 3 times. They see us talking to the roomies new friend and I was talking to my baby daddy..the guy I met at the live band spot. By the time we left we were sooo gone....after having shots, a tom collins, a beer, a sample of chivas and ginger ale and a gin and ginger ale, I was bout ready to pass out.

They came over and what not I guess trying to figure out if they were gonna come home with us and whatnot...NOT!!! LOL too funny So we said good bye to them and continued to chill with the two new friends we had met.

Sat started off a lil boring, I had to go to Verizon once again to get a new phone since my Audiovox is a hot mess...I mean I haven't had it for 6 months and it's already breaking. Then again it was refurbished..so I got a new phone (an LG...and that junk is HOOTTT) So I got a new phone and then go home, me and the roomie decide that we must go out since we don't want the whole weekend to go to a waste. We decide that the spot to be for the night will be H2O. Now we haven't been there in a while so we were both looking forward to it. We get there in time enough to get in free (which is a plus for us cause we do not pay to get in the club)

Come to find out that night was an afterparty for the wizards game and Jadakiss was there....the crowd was aight. I think it was the people that we saw that made it funny. First the roomie say her ex and he was all up in her face when he was the one that messed up. Then we saw the old friends boys...one of which tried to talk to roomie (she cut his cause she said he couldn't stroke, LOL) then I saw my first (that's right the guy that turned me into a sex crazed maniac, lol sike not really). He was looking all good and we danced and what not, roomie danced with some guy who brought her all these flowers she was walking around like she was the flower lady..it was funny. I started dancing with this guy who had a nice accent (come to find out later he knew my roomie who died, they were friends and he's from Ghana just like she was). I gave him my number and went back to dancing and drinking. The first said he was gonna come home with me....I was like yea aight no you aren't cause you be faking (I tell him that he's scared of me now) So we dancing and laughin at people, just having a good time, enjoying ourselves. We stayed till it shut down..which is very unusual for us....and what do you know I do spend the night with the first and never does someone tell you that it's so good that it's better than their ex-girlfriends (go d, lol) says he can't see me too much I might get him whipped haha.....

Needlesstosay me and the roomie had a blast....we decided that we will try to do that at least once a month....next time it's my treat.

The redskins won..which would be nice if I was a fan, I just felt sorry for them since they have lost so much I think they deserve to have a good year (smile) let's hope this weekend is just as appealing. As you can see the hair is getting a lil longer, I can't wait till it gets to my shoulders..yea I know it's gonna take a while

The roomie and I were on the bus having a conversation about the daily tosses and turns of dating. She was telling me about her last dating experience where the guy finally went through with what he said he was going to do..giving her directions to his house and all that jazz. He even cooked dinner and had some wine. So she goes over and right when she gets comfortable...his lil sister calls and asks him to come over cause there is something wrong with their mother. So his mom has his car, which means my room mate has to drive him to his mom's house. She gets there and mother dear is throwing up all over the place.....not exorcist but almost exorcist (yea gross) so to make a long story short they didn't get to eat dinner, and he and his mother kept apologizing the whole night. It's quite alright I mean I would hope someone wasn't causing themselves to throw up on purprose all to mess up a date that her son had with someone.

Anyway..she tells her story and I tell my lil trial of what the heck is going on in my life and we both realize that the thrill is gone. No I don't mean the song, I mean have you noticed that you meet someone and they seem eager to get to know you, to return calls, to take you out and show you a good time. Then BAM it's over..they are slow at returning calls or they become overly obsessive. Meaning they get mad when you dont' call them one day..I mean life happens, how do you know that I'm not dead in the gutter somewhere or that I didn't lose my phone.

So we both decided that right then and there we were going to be So nonchalant (lol thanks Faithy). Meaning if you call you call, if you don't you dont. No more giving subtle hints on spending time with a guy, no more being the nice one and always acting concerened about how his day goes. I mean our fathers have treated us like princess until we can marry someone who will treat us his queen..so in dating why shouldn't we get the best. Should I settle for someone who only calls every couple of days or only calls when he has nothing better to do....NO. I will not be last on the totem pole anymore. I mean the way I see it is that if you like me and want this to progress to something else then you should be more than willing to do what it takes. In church and in my up bringing it's been taught to me that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. So why must I continually "try" to make things happen.

My husband is out there looking for me just as I am looking for him. It's just the waiting that's killing me (smile) then again when he finally arrives and he's everything I've wanted and more I'll smile and realize that it was all worth it...till then what must I do.

Live and let live...dating is fine for the moment. I just have to learn how to be more aggressive in meeting people who interest me. I tend to be shy...I don't know why. I've never been one to go up to a guy and just ask for their number that is unless I have a lil liquor in my system lol. It's just sad to know that I've had one good relationship and it ended on a good note..but the fact that it ended still causes me to feel pain sometimes. He's a wonderful guy who is all that I would want in a future husband....and if he is never mine, that's fine I know that he will make whoever he marries a wonderful husband. So I know there has to be more than one good man out there...the question is why can't they come out of the bushes.....lol

So in the words of the good ole American Idol..who is slowly but surely learning how to read better...I ain't gonna beg you no more....sick and tired of waiting and I dont' know what I'm waiting for.....

Come with a plan or don't come at all

...at work but I figured writing in my blog might help past some time. I don't have too much to write about so I decided to do this lil quiz thing:

First

First job: Chick-fil-A
First screen name: dannibear20
First funeral: I think it was my dad's Mom
First pet: Fish when I was younger
First piercing: Ears
First tattoo: Libra
First credit card: Express and I'm still paying for it (those college years lol)
First kiss: Sometime in middle school
First enemy: No enemies just people I don't like (lol)

Last
Last car ride: The other night going to Adams Morgan
Last kiss: The other morning before getting ready for work
Last movie watched: History of Violence
Last beverage drank: Ice Tea at work
Last food consumed: Chinese food and cheetos
Last phone call: Some person askin to speak to my boss
Last time showered: This morning (wow, what kind of question is that)
Last CD played: Ruff Endz
Last website visited: yahoo.com

Now
Single or taken: Taken....I'm assuming lol
Gender: Proud woman
Birthday: October 20th
Sign: LIBRA
Siblings: 3
Hair color: Brown with a hint of light brown
Eye color: brown
Shoe size: 8.5
Height: 5'3 and that's my final answer
Wearing: gray dress pants, white shirt
Drinking: Tea
Thinking about: Going home
Listening to: I'm sorry 2004 (AOL radio)

This is a pic of me last night before the adventure started.................


Growing up as a lil girl in a home where religion is very prevelant, I can honestly say that Halloween was not celebrated. We went to church, played games, got some candy then went home and to be honest I don't feel as if I missed anything. This year I hung out with the roomie at Adams Morgan. If you live near DC or are from this area then you know it's kinda like a stip of clubs and bars. So after arriving home, I find something to wear..we both decided that if we were asked what we were then we would say victoria secret models lol since we both had on corsets (spell check lol). We get dressed go down to DC and meet her co-worker and a friend of his..now i don't do the double date thing....it tend to be a lil corny especially if you don't know the person before hand however it was Halloween and I didn't feel the need to stay home.

Before we meet them we decide to hit up the local MacDonalds since we didn't eat dinner before we left home and everyone knows that there must be food in your stomach before you partake in drinking or you will look like a fool. So we are in this place of business trying to order food....sad to say it wasn't fast food. No one spoke English and if it did then it only pertained to the menu. So this guy is complaining cause he only wanted a small fry and she gave him a medium and a small and he asked for a refund on the medium fry and she told him no in an accent that said boo you better back up......the medium comes with the meal and you wanted an extra fry...so he moved it on after complaining for a second. While all this is going on there are people eating and we notice some of the costumes and all I can say is...only in DC

Me and the girls have this saying that anytime spent with us will always be an adventure. We don't know why, we don't know when and we don't know how, but trust and believe that no matter what we do even if it's something small....there will be some sort of adventure gained from our experience.

Back to the story..so we are getting food and it's our turn to order when all of a sudden this older black lady comes up and says that she put a quarter in the bathroom and the door wouldn't open...ok. Me and roomie look at one another...a quarter WOW we know we are in the ghetto if you have to pay to use the restroom I mean wow she could have went to starbucks or some lil side street if it was all that serious. Anyway...she is complaining and of course no one is listening to her so I try to get the person who took my order (her name is Gloria) to help the lady out so she was like No key...no key and that's all she kept saying. So I'm like aight where is the manager..I see him in the back cleaning up something so I motion for him to come up since no one seemed to understand english. Meanwhile the lady is ranting about how they think they can get away with no opening the door and the manager comes up and I try to explain to him in a nice professional manner that this woman needs to use the restroom he says that he can't give her back her quarter and some other stuff. Once she hears this...homegirl goes off. She starts throwing napkins and then she picks up this lil thing on the counter which looks like it is used to hold calorie menues....once the manager sees this he jumps and she throws it over the counter.

She then tells Gloria that she could punch her in the head I was like wow. So then she starts yelling how much is this huh how much is this...while yelling she goes over to the counter and throws straws on the floor. All of this over a quarter I mean wow I could have given her one if I had it cause sista girl was too madd. Needlesstosay the lil manager proceeded to quickly open up his lil flip phone and dial 911 (lol) Of course the police don't show up and she leaves to which he comes over and asks if I know the lady. I guess he was asking me this cause I tried to help her out. Nah I didn't know her I just wanted to help her out, I know how it is when you have to use the bathroom and you can't. So then he rambles about how she is crazy...and he says I not do nothing...she crazy, she crazy (mexican accent) she call macdonalds I not do nothing. I was like ok boo i'm trying to eat and then roomie proceeds to cosign what he is saying by saying yea uhhh huh she probably didn't even have to use the bathroom she just wanted a quarter.

Man, after that the guys arrive and we go to this lil spot where there was no cover and they were playing reggae. Now I love raggea but I can only take it in doses not all night. So roomie was gettin' it on the floor while I was knocking back some vodka and cranberry juice. While drinking I was conversing with my "date". I discovered the he had a son who turned 9 but he lives in NC and he works from home making software for the government. Interesting....he was nice, converstaion was good. I kinda felt bad cause I really didn't dance..first cause my corset was killing me (lol) second cause I can only deal with reggae in small doses and the whole night they played reggae. Plus I'm not too keen on how guys tend to dance with their private area. Meaning they wanna rub it all over you and think that's dancing. Ummm not for real.

After that, they walk us back to the car and he gives me his jacker, which is nice and the gentleman thing to do. He asks me what kind of guys I deal with and all that stuff. Once we get to the car, he proceeds to try and move in with the lil hug, arm under the coat move. I indulge him...we continue to talk and he asks can he call me. I give him the number and then he spends time asking me what ring tone that I wanted. I finally decided that I wanted must be nice by lyfe..while he is continually asking me don't I want Alicia Key's Unbreakable ring tone....I tell him no I wanted "Must be Nice". Then he asks can I come give him some body heat and I say I'm about to go get in the car and create some heat of my own...he asks can he come in and I say it's not my car then he asks where is the car and I'm like are you kidding me. So I see this lil bike near by and I saw I'm about to hop on my bike and ride back to Annandale, roomie and the other guy start laughing while the other guy is looking at me like umm ok....

So we finally tell him that we are in front of the car he goes to open the door and I motion for roomie that it's time for us to rollll out. I think the guy was hoping for a kiss cause he was like can I take a picture of you..you look so pretty. I'm like why...then he keeps trying to pull me closer and i'm steady standing with my arms folded. Then he asks me if I was a cheerleader in HS and I was like no why you ask that. But I was in ROTC he says I figured it was one or the other cause you are standing at attention my sister use to do that. I thinking aight and your point for saying that was.............

He's rubbing on my back and all that I guess trying to get me warmed up to him. Asking if my shirt was sheer and I was like no why then he was like what is this..meaning my skin. He was like ohh it's so soft I thought it was sheer. I was thinking that was soo corny, my skin feels sheer....sheer is material what you tryin to say man.

We got in the car and gave them a ride to one of the guys cars..the guy that roomie was talking to and we saw that he was driving a minivan....umm yea. Now I have nothing against them, cause my mom drove one and I had to drive one when I first got my license...but later on after we were leaving DC me and the roomie said that's why he didn't want a ride to the car and kept talking about going to get some pizza down the street lol, great.

The night ended with a visit from the Green Eyed One (got me skipping to work)-smile

Random Question: "Can the words spoken during an outstanding sexual experience or a sexual event be admissable after it's over"?