Life through my eyes......

Monday, June 18, 2007

It's Funny..

how the air can be cleared and life can seem fine after a conversation. And when I say conversation I mean actually talking and listening. Letting it all hang out there, the good the bad and the ugly.

Let's just say that I can be a brat (I know what you're saying Jus whatever LOL). I dont know how Hun puts up with me cause I'd slap me if I were him and he were a girl LOL then again we wouldn't be together cause I don't do girls lol. Anywho...we got into sort of a discussion and things could have been immediately cleared up if I had calmed down and just come out and told him what was going on. Instead I'm already planning our demise..sad I know how horrible is that.

So anyway I'm not really going to go into it (I tend not to in my blog) but if you've talked to me you know what went down. So he calls me to apologize and instead of me accepting his apology and keeping it moving I'm like whatever I'll just talk to you later. I know he was distrubed, I could tell in his voice....and I didnt' care one bit. I wanted a way out and this was it. I didn't care if I love him and how he's caused me to grow, whenever things get good something bad happens and nothing has so I wanted to create something. Admitting that right now horrifies me. The fact that I was willing to end my own happiness out of thinking that this would be like the other relationships I'd been in is a horrible thing.

We hang up and I go on about my business, telling myself that I'd probably break up with him over the weekend and be done with it. Cry a little and get over it. While I'm sitting there I get an IM from who else but one of my big sisters Jus. We chat a little, I tell her what occurred and she tells me that I'm a brat. Broke it down for me and everything ya'll. I was sooo horrified that I would do that to him. He called to apologize and I shut him down because I thought his apologiy wasn't said the right way. How dare I do that? I had taken the time to talk at him and not to him. I didn't listen to what he had to say, I just said what I needed or thought I needed to say. After Jus gave me a lashing lol..I called him back and apologized. I was wrong. He had taken the time to admit that what I had said was right..he was scared, but I hadn't listened to that I just shut him out and shut him down.

So after work I go home and chill out, he comes over and we talk. I mean really talk. Like how we will deal with things when we live together. Where we will go for private time, having folks over..all that. Bills, decorating, cleaning...and all that. It was nice to see that we aren't that different and that when you talk about something..alot of confusion tend to be cleared up.

He had to work on Saturday so he did that while me and the roomie took one of our homies out for her 25th bday. Her and the roomie got tattos, they actually went to the place that I got my first one done at. It's in DC on Penn Ave and I'll be going back there this weekend to get my second. She got a star and the roomie got a tiger on her's HOTTT but her leg was killing her it was too hilarious, cause the bday girl had a cookout in her honor at 3pm why we didnt' get there till like 4 something LOL...all because of the roomie and her dang on tiger.

We go by the house, change our clothes, Hun is already there waiting (yep he met more of the friends this weekend) and head to the cookout. Now after the cookout we all were going to LOVE to party it up for her bday. Hun found out that they were having a cookout at his moms house for his grandmother so he was going to go there but he didn't find out till the last minute. So instead of him going to LOVE he decided to go to the cookout. Cool with me that's your fam, he thought I was mad but I wasn't LOL. I mean that's his grandmother, family is important to me and I would hope it's important to him. He was kinda nervous about going to LOVE cause he's not a club dude and he didn't know any of the guys that would be going. I told him that they were cool folks and would make him feel comfortable and not in a fake way, but he still didnt' know. Some how between us walking to the car once it was time to go and us getting to the house to change clothes he decided to go to LOVE. He had a blast first none of the guys were there so he felt kind of homosexual (his words not mine) since he was around a rack of girls. Once they guys got there he was fine...he would leave me for a second then come back..I didn't care as long as he was comfortable. We danced a lil and drank was nice to be in a different environment with him. He was a little tired so we left a lil after 2 and headed home.

Sunday some of homies girls that came for her bday that had come up from the 757 headed on back home and we got up and decided to go to the movies and to grab some food. So off we go to see Hostel 2. MANNNN that movie is GROSS...there is a part in there where home girl rips out the mans whole reproduction section. I mean there was a hole left when she was done! Crazy!! I like the first Hostels ending better but I liked certain parts of 2 better. We're heading out of the theater and roomie sees a mouse...ITS OVER. She gets her money back and a free pass to a movie LOL...I tell ya girl is funny. We head to Chilis and then head to the homies apt that she just moved into with her Hun. It's sooo cute, funny how he has his stuff there and she has her stuff there and it works so well together :)

Got home, watched the 4400 while eating some cake. Hun called and told me that he had some stuff to take care of but he would come over if he finished early enough cause it was already after 9. So I'm going upstairs a lil after 10 and I heard his knock at the door...yes he has a knock that he does LOL. I didn't expect him but it was soo nice to open the door and see him. We chat while he eats some bday cake, watch a lil TV and go to sleep. We talk about me buying stuff for the bathroom this weekend and what I want it to look like..he doesn't care as long as the house isn't cluttered but of course it wont be cause my room isn't like that LOL. It's just funny how I wont be there when he moves in but I'm sure it will look like I've been there haha.

Hope your weekend went as well as mine did..lets just say I'm looking forward to the weekend yet again. Hun moves into the townhouse so I'll be back and forth between there (not moving in just yet..we're moving slowly with that) but I get to decorate and I'm excited. I know that relationships take work but dang on it you gotta work for what you want and he's what I I'm gonna do what I gotta do..which probably means stop being a brat huh Jus lol. My middle sister and her hunny are coming up on Thurs night to spend the weekend at the I'll have an action packed weekend once again.

Example of the words coming out my mouth: So while on the way to eat dinner after the movie the girls and I were laughing at the mouse and how he might have wanted some popcorn and what I was like we should have been like there is a mouse in there and I dont mean MICKEY. Why these chics have been dyin laughin off of that since yesterday....they keep telling me that I'm crazy..I dont know where it all comes from I just say it LOL

Have a great day!!!

posted by Ms.Honey at 5:54 AM


First suckas!!!
(why do we get so
i am SO SO happy that you two had a conversation this weekend, i know that feeling, just sitting down and really working to make things that you want to happen happen...and like you said, a relationship is a lot of work...

I am so happy that you two are working towards a common goal and are taking your time...

and I feel you, I tell him all the time, it takes a special/strong type of man that can not only put up with me but lovingly put me in my place...

so i totally feel you..

my heart is smiling for you

June 18, 2007  

WONDERFUL... just wonderful. WOW... it's nothing better then good self evaluation...hahahah. I'm so glad you had such a good friend to tell you the TRUTH of and I'm GLAD things are good between you guys now...

June 18, 2007  

TC...I have no clue I'm not handing out prizes lol. I'm glad that we talked I mean really talked it does make a difference.

JustMe...I know and that self evaluation made me cringe as well as smile lol glad things are well as well :)

June 18, 2007  

See, I told you you help me. I am glad the two of you got to talk.

you do say some funny stuff.

June 18, 2007  

DNT...Girl I think Jus helped us both out this weekend and I'm glad we got to talk. I can't help it, the words just come out LOL

June 18, 2007  

I'm glad to see you had a conversation and got everything out in the open. It's amazing how we can stifle our own happiness sometimes because we don't want to admit that we might be wrong.

Glad he had a good time at LOVE. My hun is the same way, he isn't really the club type but I like to go now and then.

June 19, 2007  

I finally saw where LOVE was this weekend! :-)

Keep Jus's phone number on your speed dial, we all need people to st8'n us out when we need it.

I sooooooooooo identify with creating something wrong in your head when things are going right. It's fear and I don't like it!

June 19, 2007  

How come when I read your thoughts and the way you word things at times it makes me feel like I am reading my own thoughts?

I am glad you had a great weekend—when you find out how to stop being a brat..can you forward some advice to me---I am so stuck in that era.

June 19, 2007  

glad u and the hun worked it out :-) it's tough times like those that make u appreciate the man even more once u guys make up :-)

love on a sat is a good place to party w/ the hun for the 1st time.. glad u guys had a good weekend!

June 19, 2007  

Tasha...I'm glad things are out in the open as well. I'm glad he had a nice time as well and I like to go every once in a while so it's cool

Lady..AWW BOO LOL too bad you weren't there to party.

CI...Cause I think we're long lost cousins LOL..sike let me stop girl I ain't over my brat stage but I'll keep ya posted.

TTD...I'm glad too cause I can be a pain sometimes and I know he was like this chic..yea he had fun :)

June 19, 2007  

It's good to have someone that can see through you and tell you when you're wrong. Of course I'm rarely wrong so they don't often get that satisfaction. LOL

Glad things are going well for you.

June 19, 2007  

about damn time.. told you stop being so hard headed :) but also pay attention to everything! :) LOL

June 19, 2007  

Freaky..I know I can only imagine if I were right all the time do you think the world could survive with two of us in it LOL

BK..I know I know..and you are right but I know you know I got all 4 eyes open LOL

June 19, 2007  

Yay!!! I'm happy to hear that things are looking up for you guys!!

It's true what they say--"A little communication really does go a LONG way". :-D

June 19, 2007  

MsBehaving..Me too sad but I can be very negative at times and that's not good but hey what can I say.... and it does go a LONG way!!

June 19, 2007  

stopping by to say hello! :)

p.s. i sometimes wonder how my hunny puts up with me. i KNOW that i'm a brat and i'm very stubborn. i need therapy i know :)

June 19, 2007  

Tanyetta...HOWDY!!! You and me both LOL

June 20, 2007  

know what? thank God you have people in your life who can be real with you and tell you what you need to hear and that you have the peace of mind to accept it. that is fantastic!!

June 20, 2007  

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