Life through my eyes......

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My Constant

Lately I've been thinking alot about what's goin on in my life especially in the dating area and have since eliminated lots of drama..meaning those whose numbers are in my phone but I haven't talked to them or heard from them in a matter of weeks or months. This has caused me to think about the one person who has been in my life and phone book (despite number changes) ever since junior year of college.

I met him the day after my 20th birthday. My roommates and some friends took me to this club in DC called VIP (which has since closed but is dearly missed lol). He was there with his friends posted up on the wall, looking like only DC men can in the winter (WB Hoody, jeans, hair in a puffball). Now Honey-Libra loves herself some lips and can get caught up in looking at a man lick his lips while all along wishing that she was licking em (dang). So anyway me and the girls are dancing and what our lil semi circle lol (why do we do that anyway and be quick to get mad if someone bumps into us) and he proceeds to dance with me. So I give him the initial turn around look (trying to determine if he's ugly or not), I notice his lips and his oh so soft puff-puff and think well dang ok I'll dance. Needlesstosay we dance with one another off and on for the rest of the night. When we got seperated and danced with other people or passed one another in the club we would smile and keep walking. Eventually I gave him my number and kept it moving cause it was of course my birthday and I was gettin my party on.

So we get back to campus and of course the girls are asking me about the cutie that I danced with and what I thought of him. I'm like yea he's cute, I love his lips, but I doubt he'll call you know how that goes. Well I proceeded along in my week and before long I did notice that I hadn't heard from him. I was kinda sad since I had hoped that our meeting in the club would somewho lead to conversing and getting to know one another (despite people saying you only meet crazy people in the club I have met some sane ones lol) in other ways. So one night I think it was a friday I'm out on campus with the girls and I get back to my room and check my messages and guess who has called "Puff-Puff". Yea I was excited, would be lying if I said I wasn't..he said that he was sorry he hadn't called but he had been working and he left his number. Now the game I call him back, how long do I wait. Well I threw all caution to the wind and called him back and he has since remained in my life.

He's been in my life as a friend and more through an ex boyfriend and numerous other dating experiences. I've been in his life since he has cut off his hair (oh how I miss it) and joined the navy. In the beginning we had a weird relationship. I would see him out and about...we would talk and if we were at the club we would of course dance with one another occassionally and one night that I got myself twisted I fussed at him about kissing another girl in front of me (first, it was the liquor and second that was when I realized that I cared about him). I was jealous and he informed me that he didn't know I had feelings for him and that she was an ex who still wanted to be with him, but he didn't want to be with her. I didn't realize till that moment that I cared about him and couldn't imagine him not being in my life....corny I know lol, but love and caring about someone can make ya that way.

He's even told me that he knew something was different about me cause he's never ever dated someone with short hair or glasses.....we laugh cause when I first met him I couldn't take my eyes off his lips and to this day he has to tell me to stop looking at his lips (even though I'm clearly not lol) We've been in each others lives through physical and mental having short hair when he first met me..him having long growing out my hair, getting braids, dying my hair and now with the baby locs. I tell him all the time that I miss his hair and that when he gets out he should grow it back...I think he likes it short cause I'm not always trying to play in it now lol. The funny part far as physical wise...he's taller than me but when I see him I get butterflies and he's almost nothing like someone that I physically thought I would be with (meaning I always thought I would be with someone light skin, tall and kinda built lol...funny cause honey don't love the gym lol)...he's made me realize that of course love makes things look so much more attractive.

So aight fast forward to now and he has finally admitted (last summer) that he does care about me. He chose to take things slow because he knew that he was joining the navy and not knowing how that would be he didn't want to get into a relationship (I secretly also think he's been hurt but that's a whole nother subject). However he is the type of guy who doesn't really say how he feels (what guy does that anyway lol) and on top of that I'm so touchy feely and mushy as he calls it that when he's that way it surprises me. He recently met my parents when I went to see him come back home from being out to sea for 6 months. My mom was like "Oh it's so great to meet you, she talks about you all the time"..great mom just embarass the heck out of me. So we finally had a face to face talk about was going on with us. If he really felt like he could be in a relationship and that he knew how I felt about him (I had told him before that I cared about him and although he blames it on the alcohol I had once told him that I loved him lol)..that he shouldn't feel that he had to be with me....he said he didn't. He just knew that I had been there for him and stuck by him as a friend and more and never pressured him..and he knew that even if he had to take a chance on being hurt that we should work at being together.

It's still confusing with us.....cause we chill when he comes home (to DC) and if he's not working or out to see we chill when I'm at home (757 area of VA). But I've decided that I'm gonna eliminate all this extra dating or whatever the heck you would want to call it to spend time with my constant....and if things work out then they do and if they don't then I will use what I've learned from all this in whatever comes next. If I recall correctly he has signed up for 5 years in the navy which means he will be out in 2008. Since he's been in the military I've seen him grow and change for the better and it surprises me everyday at home much he has grown...and I tell him all that time that I'm so proud of him. For example he only did 2 years at VSU and he's taking classes while he's in the navy so that when he gets out he can have a plethra of jobs to choose from.....when I first met him, he said college wasn't for him. He has also talked about wanting to be an officer in the navy..which of course would mean that if we did end up together that the military would now become my life (hmmm). (Yea this was a chill pic, shows that he loves me even when I'm torn up lol)

Of course we've talked about marriage and babies but we've both decided that taking it slow would be best, especially since he's out to sea so much right now (3 weeks out of every month then in July he leaves for 6 months to go to Iraq) and that we have all the time in the world (but ya know I ain't waiting forever lol). We've talked about what our lil girl would look like.....about my complexion with a butt for days lol and big lips like her daddy and we laugh cause we know we will have to snatch her off the streets at 5 (lol, sike I'm jokin). When he visits me we play fight, he tells me how beautiful and sexy I am to him, we sing jodeci and since it's 2006 he insists that it's time I hold him lol. My roomies laugh at me cause as much as I complain about him not being so affectionate.....I am MIA whenever he's in town.

That's my suga and until someone proves otherwise..he's my constant. In the words of the PSD(Pussy Cat Dolls) I'mma stick with you forever. Through thick and thin, rain or shine, come hell or high water...I know he's always there for me and I'm here for him. I look forward to sending him lil cards, letters or emails when he's out to sea to let him know I'm thinking of him and I smile everytime I see an email from him. Valentines Day will be chill because he's gone and at this point he's the only one I could see spending time with..but you best believe that when he comes back the week's on and poppin (wink)

posted by Ms.Honey at 7:42 AM


stick wit him girl!

February 08, 2006  

that's what's up! when you deleted the numbers, didn't you feel like this big weight was lifted off of your shoulders? relieved? that you ain't gotta deal w/ no stupid @ss n*ggas no more, cause you gotta real man?!?!

February 08, 2006  

@accomplice.....he's my suga what can I say.

@ttd...yea girlie it's been nice not having to deal with nonsense from boys who think they are men lol

February 08, 2006  

AWWWWW... I love this. Thats your man girl whether you state is or not. The man that there for you through good and bad is YOUR MAN.

February 08, 2006  

@msnhim...yep that's my suga booga lol...even though as he would say "I've been with you so long you get on my nerves" lol

February 08, 2006  

you've been really hanging in there with brotha. you get props for that. it's obvious something is there worth cultivating.

February 08, 2006  

Stick with it. It's nothing like loving someone who loves you back!

February 09, 2006  

What a great site » » »

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April 25, 2007  

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