Life through my eyes......

He's been in my life as a friend and more through an ex boyfriend and numerous other dating experiences. I've been in his life since he has cut off his hair (oh how I miss it) and joined the navy. In the beginning we had a weird relationship. I would see him out and about...we would talk and if we were at the club we would of course dance with one another occassionally and one night that I got myself twisted I fussed at him about kissing another girl in front of me (first, it was the liquor and second that was when I realized that I cared about him). I was jealous and he informed me that he didn't know I had feelings for him and that she was an ex who still wanted to be with him, but he didn't want to be with her. I didn't realize till that moment that I cared about him and couldn't imagine him not being in my life....corny I know lol, but love and caring about someone can make ya that way.

He's even told me that he knew something was different about me cause he's never ever dated someone with short hair or glasses.....we laugh cause when I first met him I couldn't take my eyes off his lips and to this day he has to tell me to stop looking at his lips (even though I'm clearly not lol) We've been in each others lives through physical and mental changes....me having short hair when he first met me..him having long hair...me growing out my hair, getting braids, dying my hair and now with the baby locs. I tell him all the time that I miss his hair and that when he gets out he should grow it back...I think he likes it short cause I'm not always trying to play in it now lol. The funny part it...as far as physical wise...he's taller than me but when I see him I get butterflies and he's almost nothing like someone that I physically thought I would be with (meaning I always thought I would be with someone light skin, tall and kinda built lol...funny cause honey don't love the gym lol)...he's made me realize that of course love makes things look so much more attractive.

So aight fast forward to now and he has finally admitted (last summer) that he does care about me. He chose to take things slow because he knew that he was joining the navy and not knowing how that would be he didn't want to get into a relationship (I secretly also think he's been hurt but that's a whole nother subject). However he is the type of guy who doesn't really say how he feels (what guy does that anyway lol) and on top of that I'm so touchy feely and mushy as he calls it that when he's that way it surprises me. He recently met my parents when I went to see him come back home from being out to sea for 6 months. My mom was like "Oh it's so great to meet you, she talks about you all the time"..great mom just embarass the heck out of me. So we finally had a face to face talk about was going on with us. If he really felt like he could be in a relationship and that he knew how I felt about him (I had told him before that I cared about him and although he blames it on the alcohol I had once told him that I loved him lol)..that he shouldn't feel that he had to be with me....he said he didn't. He just knew that I had been there for him and stuck by him as a friend and more and never pressured him..and he knew that even if he had to take a chance on being hurt that we should work at being together.

It's still confusing with us.....cause we chill when he comes home (to DC) and if he's not working or out to see we chill when I'm at home (757 area of VA). But I've decided that I'm gonna eliminate all this extra dating or whatever the heck you would want to call it to spend time with my constant....and if things work out then they do and if they don't then I will use what I've learned from all this in whatever comes next. If I recall correctly he has signed up for 5 years in the navy which means he will be out in 2008. Since he's been in the military I've seen him grow and change for the better and it surprises me everyday at home much he has grown...and I tell him all that time that I'm so proud of him. For example he only did 2 years at VSU and he's taking classes while he's in the navy so that when he gets out he can have a plethra of jobs to choose from.....when I first met him, he said college wasn't for him. He has also talked about wanting to be an officer in the navy..which of course would mean that if we did end up together that the military would now become my life (hmmm). (Yea this was a chill pic, shows that he loves me even when I'm torn up lol)

Of course we've talked about marriage and babies but we've both decided that taking it slow would be best, especially since he's out to sea so much right now (3 weeks out of every month then in July he leaves for 6 months to go to Iraq) and that we have all the time in the world (but ya know I ain't waiting forever lol). We've talked about what our lil girl would look like.....about my complexion with a butt for days lol and big lips like her daddy and we laugh cause we know we will have to snatch her off the streets at 5 (lol, sike I'm jokin). When he visits me we play fight, he tells me how beautiful and sexy I am to him, we sing jodeci and since it's 2006 he insists that it's time I hold him lol. My roomies laugh at me cause as much as I complain about him not being so affectionate.....I am MIA whenever he's in town.

That's my suga and until someone proves otherwise..he's my constant. In the words of the PSD(Pussy Cat Dolls) I'mma stick with you forever. Through thick and thin, rain or shine, come hell or high water...I know he's always there for me and I'm here for him. I look forward to sending him lil cards, letters or emails when he's out to sea to let him know I'm thinking of him and I smile everytime I see an email from him. Valentines Day will be chill because he's gone and at this point he's the only one I could see spending time with..but you best believe that when he comes back the week after....it's on and poppin (wink)

posted@11:10am