Life through my eyes......
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Back to Reality
Constant: I know everyone who read the last post and who has been reading the last few posts has kinda gotten the gist of what's going on with me and Constant. Well I found out that he's leaving for 6 months (maybe a year) to go to Cuba. So he got in town last week on Wed and since I was leaving on Friday he decided to come over. We talked, I busted out crying (half out of anger half out of sadness). He hugged me and held me, told me it was ok and then proceeded to tell me how he really felt about. I fussed that we only talk via email and if it's on the phone it's for like 5 min and I'm tired of it..then he said aight I'm gonna tell you how I feel....this is for real not over the phone or via email. I was still upset had my back turned towards him and was sniffling....lol the kind of crying where when you're done you can't breathe out of one nostril. He said it's hard for me to tell you how I feel cause when I do that girls seem to always hurt me (boo get over it) so he was like I love you, and you've always been there for me it took time for me to see that. Kept telling me that things were going to be ok with us and that we've always made it through the other times he's been gone (the longest was 3 months...6 months is longer boo and it could be a year). He spent the night and took me to work in the morning, first he complained about that then he said I complained and got out the car too fast but hey I don't want you to do nothing for me that you don't want to do. Now with that being said he had a wedding to go to on Monday and told me that since he was leaving on Tues he would come over after the wedding...do you think he showed up....NO HELL NO. Was I pissed...a lil, I expected that. But what I didn't expect was to get a phone call at like 3am talking about he got pulled over by the cops cause they thought he was drinking and driving but that he was aight and for me to call him when I got his message...I did that....did he call me back...let's just say if I was holding my breath I would be DEAD!!! And here it is Wed and he's already on his way to Mississippi to catch a plane to Cuba.....so F it. You talk a good game but you can't seem to keep up with what you saying....so these 6 months to a year that 's he gone....he can be his own boo boo. I don't give a crap. It just blows me that you are leaving the freaking country and I see you once.....and you think that's ok......boo you got a problem a serious one. How dare you not even call me and when I do call you back you don't even have the decency to return my call. WHAT THE HELL!!!! Ok, I'm sad that he's left or leaving or whatever cause there is a possibility that he might not come back...if I didn't say that I would be lying...I created this blog to be honest with myself and to vent and that's what I'm doing. So ok he was at my house in my bed and wiping my tears away but not less than 48 hours later he was yankin my heart out again.....errrrrrrrr. Dang I need a drink.
Nurse Dude: Was on pins and needles for a second cause he be acting a lil suspect. He went to Miami for the holiday and the night before I left he came over to say good bye and watch me pack..yep lol that's all that happened LOL. He was riding with his boy to the mall so I picked him up from there and we proceeded to head back to my house. I was packing, trying to clean, trying to get my hair done and all that other nonsense. He called me when he got there and he called me on his way back. Yesterday he came over and we went to the movies to see X-Men:The last stand (it was pretty good then again I LOVE XMEN), before that we had dinner at the Ruby Tuesdays' that's next to it, so it was nice...we had a lil convo about what's going on with us, I told him about Constant..of course not all the details..he told me about his vacation, I told him about mine he asked if I got any while I was down there and I asked him if he got some....he said no, I said no. He said why do that when he had to come back home to reality and all that jazz. Meanwhile he's texting on his phone and I had to threaten to take his phone away while we were in the movie cause he was all up in it. I was like dang do you need it to be glued to your ear..tell her you'll call her back then he started laughing and was like it's not even like that. I was like yea aight.....of course during dinner there was more said about how we should talk more in the near future about being together but for right now we decided that we would just spend more time together and see how that goes. Which is fine with me, no rush needed. But I would like to see him more just to get a better feel of what I think about him and to see if he's really being suspect. So after dinner and the movie he came back over, played with Giz (who by the way has a new cage and it's pretty nice, since he knocked the other one over he can't jump over this one) he calls Giz his son lol....my girls said we are like a lil family. Then he's like I have to go and I was like why and he said cause one of my boys needs to talk to me....I was like huh and I must have got this real mean look on my face cause he was like I know you mad, I'll make it up to you..I'll come over tomorrow after work I promise....I was like you mean to tell me that you leaving cause one of your boys needs to talk to you...he was like well he said it's important and he needs to see me face to face...I was like hmmm aight well tell her I said hey and it must be real good and he was like it's not like that I promise and I was like aight it's whatever do what you want.....and he kept saying I'm comin over tomorrow I'm gonna make it up to you....we can even spend the whole weekend together....yea yea....whatever. How come just when you think things are chill, they turn around and say some stupid crap out they mouth....so back to what I said a couple of posts ago....I like nurse dude, it's all good but I'm glad I ain't head over heels.....I'm not saying he lying but you get what I'm saying...I got both eyes open
posted@9:19am
27 Comments:
I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday weekend. So it the same old thing with Constant. The calls, the promises...followed by disappointment. I hate it when they do that, but you have your head on straight, and you seem to have fairly good control. Nurse Dude does leave a lot to be questioned, but like you said...your eyes are open.
hey girl i am glad to hear that you had ball in myrtle too...as far as what homeboy said, he would've definitely got popped in the eye...
Luvin me...yes same ole same ole..one minute it's the I love yous and the next it's him not returning calls..but it's all good and as far as nurse dude yea I'm proceeding with caution.
drama kween....yea I had a blast can't wait to go on another mini vacation...some of those girls down there was tooooo funny LOL
CUT THAT CONSTANT NIGGA TO THE CURB!
aiight, now that i got that out of the way...LOL
it sounds like you HAD.A.BALL. in myrtle beach. brothas with bikes are sexy!
i'm done with the biker scene but i've got some great memories :)
oh let me add...
KICK THAT NURSE DUDE TO THE CURB!
what da hell is that about him texting during a movie and having to bounce suddenly? that got "other girl" written all over it.
i'm sooo glad u had fun in nc. the hatin friend, i hate chicks like that. i have some like her. i always say were grown and we're free to do us. bottom line i hate haaaaaaaaaaaaaterrs!
constant i can't tell u want to tell u to let go. but he's livin his life and he hasn't asked u to marry him. ur young, beautiful, sexy, ambitous, and funny. when more years pass ur goin to look back and say "why did i let that man phase me like that, if i knew what i know now i'll would have let go long time." what i'm sayin is go with ur gut and be honest with urself. some people are here for a lifetime and some just a season.
Nursin dude: let him go. Let HIM GO. u do not have to settle. if his friend need him he would have been more specific. when people are sneakin they speak very vague. and that's what he did.
i'm only goin by ur side. so if i'm wrong i'm sorry!
Nikki...well constant is being kicked to the curb we'll see how that goes. I'm having fun with nurse dude if you know what I mean so we'll leave it at that cause he doesn't deserve more than that LOL
Please believe he can't play me I got eyes in the back and on the side of my head LOL
Thoughts...don't I know it but he think I'm gonna be around forever..newsflash...I'm NOT...
you know, i've always wanted to ride a motorcycle, but have been scared ever since my doctor told me they call them donorcycles in the ER. maybe i'll do it one day.
i cosign w/ Nikki regarding Constant. yet, i also know how hard it can be to do so.
thanks for stopping by. don't be a stranger...
uh Nurse dude is GAY. That's some BS. 'I need to talk to my boy face to face' That is GAY. Plus why you picking him up? That's a NO NO. I don't care what he was doing. You better get dropped off if you wanna see me...
I'm glad that you have your eyes open because those dudes are sounding shady. Follow your instincts. Everytime I've been hurt by a man it's because I didn't follow my gut when I knew something was wrong.
sweetness....I def feel ya which is why I'm doing me in the words of my friend do I look like Bo Bo the Fool...NO, so he gets what he gives me which means that I'm doing me and he can do him I ain't worried. Yea she was kind of salty I mean hey we came down to have fun I ain't tried to be booed up just tryin to have fun LOL..my side is his side he was chillin at my house then was like I got to go my boy so and so called and said he needed to talk to me about something face to face I was like aight bye...yea I was salty but it's all good.
blkbutterfly....most def I'll be back by to read more, wow donorcycles that's major.
stilt...LOL I knew better than that I was irritated and wasn't even thinkin straight let that be a lesson to me afterwards I was like why your boy couldn't drop you off he was like he didn't know how to get here I was like you could have called but oh well what's done is done.
miss jj..I hear ya and I'm learning every day to go with how I feel which is why I'm doing me right now....
chris..nope he just doesn't get it but it's all good I've been a fool for too long and it's ended.
Haha! I'm glad you had a ball and you came back ready to blog because that was a loooooong post!
don't let that guy get u down girl...and ur right keep those eyes open....u'll find someone that really deserves u and can appreciate what love u have to give....glad u had fun over the weekend.....
Vacation - next time wear some cute swim shoes
Constant - Boooooooooo sounds like the same ole song and dance to me!
Nurse Dude - I CAN'T STAND when people are all in their phone when they are supposed to be hanging with me! UGH!
Glad to hear that you had a nice weekend. You were down close to where I just moved from (Hilton Head).
As for as Constance (he-he), don't let it bother you. I am in the process of learning to love myself after an awful breakup. Loving self is so awesome and I am amazed how much I have overcome since then. It also shows in my countenance and semblance because I am radiating from the inside out. That is my recommendation.
[Eating popcorn.] Damn, I wish I had that type of drama going on in my life. Both guys are hiding something. Both of them should get cut from the team. Guys will always do whatever you let them get away. Tell Constant what you want and how it has to be and if he can't be that to get gone and stay gone!
Sounds like a fun weekend. I live in the Carolinas and have never gone to Bike week. I figured it would be too crowded and I'd get annoyed and leave. Maybe I'll check it out one day.
princess...yea girl I was like dang I can't wait to blog about this LOL
tianne...yep I had loads of fun that kind of made the drama less dramatic so I'm good LOL
ladynay..tell me about it (I'm gonna have to get some swim shoes)
ty...it's all good I'm using it all as a learning experience.
freaky..once again you come with no popcorn for me or my guests LOL....I give you drama and you give me no popcorn dang....but nah LOL trust me it's madness around here LOL..but I am leanin towards just tellin Constant to put up or shut up cause this crap is getting old...if ya know what I mean
I like liquor and tv...yea it was cool I have fam in the carolinas but you know how the fam vacation goes..it's spent seeing people who haven't seen you since you were knee high to a grasshopper LOL..
girl you was doing it!! Should have taken me alone!!
Awww man, sounds like you had a great holiday weekend! I've never been to Myrtle Bch, sounds like I need to be making a trip next year!
Have a great rest of the week.
im glad u enjoyed myrtle. I been down therebefore and it is lovely.
Constant needs to be constant about his words and actions. He says one thing but behaves a lil different.
Damn, I have to catch up!!!!
tenacious...lol, we will def have to hang out then so we can talk about one another on our blogs LOL
n search..yea I had a ball lets just say I'm counting down the days to when I can be in some more sun
epsil..I didn't feel like typing your whole name but you get what I mean LOL..yea it's the same ole same ole but this time my feelings were really hurt and that's a blower..so it's time for me to put up or shut up and stop allowing him to do what he's doing.
msnhim..hey that's what happens when you take a break LOL
this post is so long! i've been trying to read it while working for the past 2 days... I only got 1/2 way thru the constant section.. i'll comment now & come back to finish the rest:
glad u had fun in SC.. and yes.. who's says "can i put my dick b/w ur breast?" GROW UP!!
i wouldnt stress over constant.. i say be friends.. and when he returns.. see how the both of ya'll feel
Glad u had a good time @ Myrtle..i said i wouldn't go back there but maybe 1 more time wont hurt..nobody wanted to RIDE me on their bikes.....GUessi was either too skinny or had too many clothes on.....Im with u though riding is an adrenaline rush.......lets start an all girls blogging bike club......i seen an ill bike down in Miami it was a girls...imma post the pics one day
I'm glad you had a good time at bike week! I haven't been in a few years, but we always had a blast!
Constant sounds like he has some shit w/ him!! I hate negroes that don't ever keep their word!! What a pain in the ass!!
Nurse Dude sounds like he may have some issues, too. I'm glad you're keepin' an eye on him. Maybe he was sincerely trying to help out a friend and be a good listener... perhaps...
Of course it is what it is and I am proceeding with caution lol
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