Life through my eyes......
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Back to Reality
Constant: I know everyone who read the last post and who has been reading the last few posts has kinda gotten the gist of what's going on with me and Constant. Well I found out that he's leaving for 6 months (maybe a year) to go to Cuba. So he got in town last week on Wed and since I was leaving on Friday he decided to come over. We talked, I busted out crying (half out of anger half out of sadness). He hugged me and held me, told me it was ok and then proceeded to tell me how he really felt about. I fussed that we only talk via email and if it's on the phone it's for like 5 min and I'm tired of it..then he said aight I'm gonna tell you how I feel....this is for real not over the phone or via email. I was still upset had my back turned towards him and was sniffling....lol the kind of crying where when you're done you can't breathe out of one nostril. He said it's hard for me to tell you how I feel cause when I do that girls seem to always hurt me (boo get over it) so he was like I love you, and you've always been there for me it took time for me to see that. Kept telling me that things were going to be ok with us and that we've always made it through the other times he's been gone (the longest was 3 months...6 months is longer boo and it could be a year). He spent the night and took me to work in the morning, first he complained about that then he said I complained and got out the car too fast but hey I don't want you to do nothing for me that you don't want to do. Now with that being said he had a wedding to go to on Monday and told me that since he was leaving on Tues he would come over after the wedding...do you think he showed up....NO HELL NO. Was I pissed...a lil, I expected that. But what I didn't expect was to get a phone call at like 3am talking about he got pulled over by the cops cause they thought he was drinking and driving but that he was aight and for me to call him when I got his message...I did that....did he call me back...let's just say if I was holding my breath I would be DEAD!!! And here it is Wed and he's already on his way to Mississippi to catch a plane to Cuba.....so F it. You talk a good game but you can't seem to keep up with what you saying....so these 6 months to a year that 's he gone....he can be his own boo boo. I don't give a crap. It just blows me that you are leaving the freaking country and I see you once.....and you think that's ok......boo you got a problem a serious one. How dare you not even call me and when I do call you back you don't even have the decency to return my call. WHAT THE HELL!!!! Ok, I'm sad that he's left or leaving or whatever cause there is a possibility that he might not come back...if I didn't say that I would be lying...I created this blog to be honest with myself and to vent and that's what I'm doing. So ok he was at my house in my bed and wiping my tears away but not less than 48 hours later he was yankin my heart out again.....errrrrrrrr. Dang I need a drink.
Nurse Dude: Was on pins and needles for a second cause he be acting a lil suspect. He went to Miami for the holiday and the night before I left he came over to say good bye and watch me pack..yep lol that's all that happened LOL. He was riding with his boy to the mall so I picked him up from there and we proceeded to head back to my house. I was packing, trying to clean, trying to get my hair done and all that other nonsense. He called me when he got there and he called me on his way back. Yesterday he came over and we went to the movies to see X-Men:The last stand (it was pretty good then again I LOVE XMEN), before that we had dinner at the Ruby Tuesdays' that's next to it, so it was nice...we had a lil convo about what's going on with us, I told him about Constant..of course not all the details..he told me about his vacation, I told him about mine he asked if I got any while I was down there and I asked him if he got some....he said no, I said no. He said why do that when he had to come back home to reality and all that jazz. Meanwhile he's texting on his phone and I had to threaten to take his phone away while we were in the movie cause he was all up in it. I was like dang do you need it to be glued to your ear..tell her you'll call her back then he started laughing and was like it's not even like that. I was like yea aight.....of course during dinner there was more said about how we should talk more in the near future about being together but for right now we decided that we would just spend more time together and see how that goes. Which is fine with me, no rush needed. But I would like to see him more just to get a better feel of what I think about him and to see if he's really being suspect. So after dinner and the movie he came back over, played with Giz (who by the way has a new cage and it's pretty nice, since he knocked the other one over he can't jump over this one) he calls Giz his son lol....my girls said we are like a lil family. Then he's like I have to go and I was like why and he said cause one of my boys needs to talk to me....I was like huh and I must have got this real mean look on my face cause he was like I know you mad, I'll make it up to you..I'll come over tomorrow after work I promise....I was like you mean to tell me that you leaving cause one of your boys needs to talk to you...he was like well he said it's important and he needs to see me face to face...I was like hmmm aight well tell her I said hey and it must be real good and he was like it's not like that I promise and I was like aight it's whatever do what you want.....and he kept saying I'm comin over tomorrow I'm gonna make it up to you....we can even spend the whole weekend together....yea yea....whatever. How come just when you think things are chill, they turn around and say some stupid crap out they mouth....so back to what I said a couple of posts ago....I like nurse dude, it's all good but I'm glad I ain't head over heels.....I'm not saying he lying but you get what I'm saying...I got both eyes open