Life through my eyes......
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
..I just want to get to know you. That's what I've been thinking to myself for the last year well ever since I graduated from college (May 2004). I'm so intent on having a career, having goals that sometimes I have forgotten the Honey Libra that I have and many others have grown to love. I forget that I still have to close my closet door before I go to bed and that I have to eat my candy in even pieces (yea I know) or that I dont' cry when I sometimes need to. As this year is coming to a close I realize that I have changed and sometimes just when I try to act out like someone else I see the real "Honey Libra" come out and make herself known.
I'm sarcastic, I'm sensitive and I love to be in love. I hate when people underestimate me. I have been in love for real for real once I think the rest was just a trick of my mind. I want to be in love for real for real again. I cry sometimes at night. I want a man that loves me just as much as my dad loves my mom if not more (smile) I want 4 kids (it use to be 2 but I love them so much I wanted more) I also want to adopt children. When I was hurt in the past I tried to substitute what I had with him by acting like I didn't care and dating lots of guys (I know not like me) sometimes I still find myself dating too much just to get over someone who has done me wrong
Sad to say but I think most of my unhappiness has come becuase I forgotten how to pray and have actively stopped seeking God's will. I know we all have those moments where we pray but I know God is disappointed in me and how I've been handling things so from here on out I'm listening God, this past year has been an eye-opener and a true learning experince. I vow to do better. I know it's going to take time but I'm sure he knows that. But in the meantime I have to make a conscience effort to change.
Although all of this is who I am or what I've become I'm realizing that each negative or positive aspect of my life has made me who I am. I mean the Honey Libra that makes my parents proud to have me as a daughter and my sisters love me cause I'm their sister. The Honey Libra that is a great listener to her friends and a wonderful companion when she is in a relationship. I'm not going to make excuses for anyone nexy year. If you don't love me then oh well, you've just missed out on the best thing you could have ever encountered (lol).
So next year I'm slowing down. Taking the time to appreciate who I am as a person, a daughter, a woman, a friend, and as me. People love me for a reason lol so next year I'm gonna have a clear vision of who I am as me and love me even more than someone else can love me. Cause if you don't know who you are and love yourself then how can others come to know, love and understand the real you. I'm going to learn how to become that person God wants and needs me to become.
Take time to smell the roses.