Life through my eyes......
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Back to Life...Back to Reality
I met him on my birthday during my junior year of college and right before the summer going into my senior year he joined the navy and moved to Norfolk which is about 20 min from where I'm from. Which means that I could go home and visit him and he could come home and visit me (he's from DC) so to make a long story short I didn't pressure him into establishing something with me but he did know that I liked him and what not. So this merry go round continued for a bout a year and this summer he said that he had feelings for me and wanted to be with me.....so if you know me then of course I was like finally...he is coming to his senses......EHHHH Wrong Answer.....I have come to the conclusion that he doesn't know what he wants.....beyond sleeping lol. So here is the lowdown on how I once again have to eliminate someone from this balancing act called life.
Before I went home for the holidays I talked to him and the only reason that I talked to him was because I thought he was out to sea and wanted to see if he had gotten back ok. I didn't leave a message so he calls me back and we talk. I tell him when I'm coming in town he says ok..his car will be in the shop he will come to my house to chill with the fam on sunday after work (he gets off at six) which means I would have to come get him...I said fine that's cool it's not like I haven't done it before. Tell me why I didn't hear from him till quarter to 10 that sun night....ok boo half the weekend has passed and you haven't even thought enough of me to give me a 2 min call to say happy holidays or that you were thinking of me....I mean dang. So unbeknowst to him I had brought him this nice Enyce jacket.....I returned it to prove a point. I'm not materialistic and neither did I expect a gift from him but not calling all weekend when you know I leave on Monday that is unheard of. Then you try to say your phone ain't working like it's suppose to...mind you he didn't say this it was on his voicemail...I mean dang. That's not all...I called him after I left church to tell him Merry Christmas I knew he was working so I left a message. He calls back that night and I was like how was your holiday he said nice other than work he was tired I said what are you doing he says laying down I said oh ok well you know I wanted to see you he says.....Tonight?
I was like nevermind, don't worry about it just go back to sleep I'll talk to you when I talk to you...he was like well I'm coming home on wed so I can see you then I said I'm leavin fri to go to NC so if I see you I see you if not then I won't. I said you always try to make plans with me when you come home but then you never follow through...so just call me when you have a chance free. So with that being said I will not clear my schedule for him cause he doesn't do that for me. I'm not going out of my way anymore....if you want to be with me then you are going to have to take some initiative and make it known. Cause till then I'm going to continue to date other guys cause you ain't got your self together. So he'll probably come into town on Wed and expect me to go pick him up after work and hang with him and he will be expecting a gift...to which he will get a great shock and find out that I will not be hunting him down and he will not a gift to open...once again it's not about the gift that was just the straw that broke the camels back. It's the principle..so don't comment talking about I'm materialistic lol.....cause there is so much more to it than that.
On top of that he thinks he should get kudos for spontaneously visiting me one weekend...nah boo you should do that if you think you my man....you don't get a point or a cookie for doing what the job entails you get points and cookies for doing above the call of duty...to which he hasn't done as of yet. So I told him he could keep that lil excuse and use it on someone else. So as much as it pains me to cut him loose..cause since Z he's the only guy that I've really really cared about...I have to do it to prove that I can do it.....cause he's taking advantage of the fact that I do care about him. I have no time for that. So if he calls which I doubt he will and if he does it will probably be around 11ish on wed night nearing the booty call hours...i won't be answering my phone...as a matter of fact I'll probably turn it off just so I'm not tempted to answer. I have to show myself that I have the willpower to get over him. He only does to me what I allow and I'm not allowing myself to be mistreated anymore.....as stated before my goal for 2006 is to FOCUSED and if you ain't with that then BE GONE!!!!!
Can't wait for this weekend though. Second plane ride in about 2 or 3 years and I get to see Z who I haven't seen since the summer. So it should be lots of fun and the post on the recap of the weekend should be interesting. Hope everyone had a safe holiday.....remember not to drink and drive this weekend.......
posted @ 10:39am