Life through my eyes......
Friday, January 06, 2006
It's a New Day
So last night I had a chill date.....meaning I hung out with K (someone I met last year sometime...a young one..yea I know that's a whole nother subject). He's cool, surprisingly when we chill I seem to forget how old he is then again sometimes I remember all too well cause eh's still in that midset of I'm gonna hustle till I die. I informed him that there are other things to do than hustle but he enlightened me that all hustle isn't illegal (yea I knew that part that wasn't new). But when he said that he would hustle till he died he meant that he would do what he had to do to make paper and what not. Which is techinically what we all want to do in life, even if we don't admit it. I mean yea we all want to be happy and go to work cause we just love going (please) but we all want our bills paid on time and to have a lil money in the bank so we aren't living pay check to pay check..heck I've even said that I'm so tired of working that when I get married and have my first child I'm taking like a year off. But knowing me and how busy I like to be I know that I won't do that, so it's all in my head lol
K is funny cause when I first met him it was under weird circumstances. I was out with a male friend of mine who is gay and of course he was trying to pick out men for me to talk to and what not and then I saw K. I wasn't going to say anything cause Honey can be a lil shy at times, perhaps it's fear of rejection or the fear of sounding stupid but anyway I said something and things went from there. I knew from jump that some of the things K did weren't always above board but I decided to overlook that. I'm actually glad I did cause he doesn't do that type of stuff anymore at least to my knowlege and is always surprising me on how attentive he is to me when I'm around him. I remember one time he came over my house cause I told him that I hated driving to MD so he should come visit..so he did. We stayed up half the night talking about life and other stuff and he called me the next day just to tell me that he loved our conversation and that talking to me made him think (I'm assuming that's a good thing lol).
So last night we were at his house, watching tv..trying to decide on what to watch..Skeleton Key or Family Guy and we decided on Family Guy. I was dead tired cause I had been at work and haven't really had a chance to sleep like I've wanted to on the past couple of weekends so needlesstosay before the credits rolled I was knocked out. Now normal any other guy would try to arouse you by kissing and what not and I'm not saying my K didn't try this form of attack lol....but once he saw that I was tired beyond words he rubbed my back and watched me fall asleep...I know he watched me cause when I woke up to turn over and watch about 5 min of Family Guy he said "Do you know that you are beautiful when you sleep" I was like huh why you watchin me lol he says "Cause, I mean you're cute when you're awake but you're so beautiful when you're sleep, it's something about you" I was like awwww he always surprises me..talking about he missed me over the holidays I left him for too long. Cute, real cute. Funny how I think he might want more but he hasn't really said anything. To be honest I haven't even thought of being anything more, probably cause I'm still trying to work out what the heck is or was going on in my head over Z (case has now been dismissed).
So now that it's a new year and a new day perhaps I can try to narrow down who I want to continue talking to and let go......I mean what can I say that's what dating is all about. The funny part is I've worn my heart on my sleeve one too many times and I'm checking my feelings at the door from now on so being hurt from the unexpected doesnt' occur. Yea I know that could potentially harm a relationship that is meant to be. And I'm not a total brick wall as of yet, I don't think I will ever be that way..I love love and I love to be in love..if that makes any sense lol. I was telling one of my girls from college (sononchalant) that it can only get better from here on out. I've experienced love so I know it's out there and it's possible so I'll keep my eyes peeled and arms open for it when I'm ready to recieve it, cause apparently there are some things that need to occur before it happens again.
Till then I'll enjoy my time with K and navy guy and who ever else I decide to go on dates with. And when it's clear to me who I want to be with and establish something with....I'll make it happen
posted @ 9:58am