Life through my eyes......

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Holiday Happenings

When I say that I'm tired and want to go back to sleep it's not because I didn't get any sleep while in Hpt, it's because I just wanna go back to sleep and don't want to be at work right now LOL. I wanna curl up under my covers in my cold room (Music says it's either hot or cold in my room no in between lol) and go on back to sleep and wake up on Friday afternoon LOL.

So the Christmas holiday is over and now it's almost time for New Years. Yea I'll be in NY we leave on Sat afternoon..don't ask me what we're doing cause I have no clue and I haven't ordered my dress yet which means I will be wearing a dress that is already in my possession LOL...ain't no thing to me I think I've worn it about 2 times and no one in NY knows me anyway so great. Plus it's black and silver and I already got the silver shoes, so everything works out. I had a blast at home, didn't go to see Happy Feet though first becuase we wantes to go see it at the IMAX theater and tell me why the tickets were $10. I said we might as well go to the matinee and pay 6..freaking people. So we X'd that idea quickly, plus I still hadn't done any shopping and decided to brave the crowd and go.

Friday I got up around 530 cause Music was over and had to be to work so he took me to my car and I drove on down to Hampton...got there around 830 and proceeded to lounge around for the rest of the day. My mom has a day care so I was playing with the kids and watching cartoons most of the day. The best friend came over to pick up her daughter (who is my god daughter) she needed a break from her cause she works full time and goes to school full time and my lil Livy is a handful so I can dig needed some time alone LOL..so we chatted for awhile and then that I put the pajamas on and lounged till I was knocked out on the couch.

Saturday got up and met up with the best friend and took my nephew to see my egg donor (biological mother) she hasn't seen him since he was a baby and my sister his mother wouldn't let her see him if she was the last person on earth LOL....so since I had him (my sister was in Suffolk for the holiday) I took him over there and what not. She looks a lot better than before she's had that gastic bypass surgery and lost lots of weight and goes back next month I think to get the excess skin taken off...I wish her the best (cause lord knows she is living with some demons...not literally but I mean within herself LOL) we hit the stores, I get my god daughter some clothes, toys and diapers along with socks and some other stuff she needed..get my nephew some toys, and undershirts and socks. My sister had already brought him some clothes and my god daughter some shoes (some timbs with leopard print on em LOL too cute) so I got the other stuff. Went back home took a quick nap...waited for my sis to get off work and shower....the best friend had to go get the kid from her daddy's house...so she drove over to our house and we hit the mall. Man it was so much traffic down there, so many people were in line to see Santa that it was ridiculous. They shut the line down to give the poor man a break LOL...of course when you're home for the holiday you see any and everyone you know...so after we were dogg tired and I'm sure the kids were tired too cause they were starting to ask for food LOL...we got some food and headed back to my house to watch the sound of music....ended up watching some of it and then my phone rings........

It's 757 (just made that nickname up). He is someone that I use to deal with when I was in college and would go home for breaks and I worked at Sams Club...he worked there too and has since graduated and works there and at Northrop Grumman. We parted ways because he just wasn't around. I mean we would make plans and he would fall asleep after work or just not show or if he did call it was days after we had made plans with excuses about why whatever had happened. So I just told him to stop with all that and I moved on. I call him when I'm in the area just to say hello...earlier this year I found out he had a son...yea surprise surprise...he's 1 now. He's not with the childs mother and so he calls me and was like are you at home I say yea and he says he's coming over....I don't think two cents of it and keep playing with my nephew. He calls back and says he's outside. I invite him in, he speaks to the fam...of course my mom is like wow long time no see LOL..she is hiliarous. We go in living room and talk for a minute...2 hours to be exact and even when he left he called and we talked for another hour. He regrets how we ended and thinks about me often...but I'm up here and he's down there...I told him that I'm tired of guys using this short distance as an excuse or crutch but hey oh well..I'm not gonna spend my time worried about where I live cause I'm not moving no time soon. So we chatted about that, life now, me going back to school, him working, he showed me pics of his son...he is soo cute LOL....and then I walked him out...he hugged me and gave me a kiss..I go on back inside and go to bed...he calls when he gets home just to say some other stuff that's on his mind and I tell him let's just see where things go I like where I'm at right now and whatever happens happens...in other words I'm feelin Music but I'm not too sure yet.

So I go to bed after we talk for a lil bit and again my phone rings.....it's Constant. WOW...boo it's 2am what the heck do you want. Of course he had been drinking talking about I wanna see you so we can talk. I was like you had that chance last week and you missed it why should i get out my bed and put on some clothes and drive to see you....he was like aight I'll come to your house..I said aight, hung up and went back to sleep LOL...I could care less if he came over...phone rings again....he proceeds to tell me that his phone is about to die he can't remember when I live and can I meet him at the Alley (this club that's like 10-15 min from my house) so I compromise since I do need closure...I get up put a shirt over my pajama pants and head out. I get there first and start the count down cause if he's not here in 5 I'm leaving....he pulls up and I get in his car. Let the games begin is what i'm saying. First he's like you know I gotta be to work at 5..I'm like yea aight whatever and he asks me to look at him and goes on and on about how sorry he is all of this is a drunken stupor. Talking about he's only seen one of the girls once and had sex with her once and she was in love after that..he just told her what she wanted to hear...well it's not problem..you are not the president therefore you should not just be saying what you think people wanna hear. He did admit that he was wrong, I cheated is how he put it. I did you wrong, I hurt you and I'm sorry. I love you and I've never had someone love me as much as you do and I sometimes forget that I have a girlfriend as wonderful as you....had you mean LOL. Talks about how his dad not telling him that he had cancer hurt him and how he shut down and didn't want to talk to no one....so of course I'm rollin my eyes partially cause I'm trying to be annoyed and I am annoyed and the other half becuase I'm trying not to think about how stupid I felt when all this started which will make me cry.

So he asks me to look at him and I can't LOL..I mean I look everywhere else but his eyes...and when I finally did...I cried...couldn't stop. I mean I was just crying....hitting him, tellin him that he made me feel stupid...that I didn't matter to him....that I loved him and he took advantage of that...and at first he was just looking at me like dang and he hugged me and I kept crying...I felt so much better after that...all I needed was to cry I mean cry and tell him how much I hated his guts, how much he hurt me how much pain I was in at the moment that I found all that out. I told him that I just want to chill right now..I know he's not ready to be with someone and to be honest I'm fine right where I am. I've forgiven him and he asked me would I keep bringing it back up if we decided to get back together and I told him no and I honestly wouldn't cause I have closure now so I'm good....no more feeling sad over what occurred, what's done is done.

Sunday went to church...came home, ate some great food went to sleep then took my sis to do some last minute shopping. I'm glad we left when we did cause everyone was closing at 6. Got home, wrapped some gifts played with my nephew and went on to sleep LOL...yea I slept alot!

Monday got up opened gifts, ate, slept off and on took my sis and nephew to see the egg donor and some other folks that we are biologically related to. All I heard that whole time was oh my god you look just like her you could be her twin...great. I see where I get my loudness from, my hips and my fat cheeks...it was nice to see them I guess didn't really know them to begin with. I think she was all excited boo please don't be LOL..it's the holiday season so I wanted to be nice..great. I made a mistake and told my two lil cousins that we have free mobile to mobile and what not since we have verizon them fools been textin me all weekend..I be like dang man leave me be..I turned my phone off now cause I don't want to be too bothered...I'll turn it back on when I get home but dang...

Tuesday...got up, went to breakfast with some of the girls from High school and then went home to pick up my food and packed up the car. Made it back up here around 3pm, watched the green mile...went and did a lil more shopping and then Music came over. He came over right after work since he got off late. Gave me lots of hugs LOL..I said I missed my Music he was like oh you claiming me now I was like umm no LOL...great...hopefully I'll see him before I leave on Sat...we'll see

and now I'm here at work ready to go home and get back in the bed....or at least for Friday to come.

posted@9:12am
posted by Ms.Honey at 5:37 AM

19 Comments:

wanting to be back in the bed? that's how i felt yesterday.. shoot! that's how i feel today! lol

glad u got ur closure w/ constant.. hope all that confusion is gone :-)

hope u can make it on friday! you and killa! lol

December 27, 2006  

This is Pamalicious! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! and I love the way you give a blow by blow account of things, lol lol

Sounds like you had a busy time! It seems like everyone's holidays are cracking up to be nice. I wish I were still in NY for New Years Eve but we'll watch the peach drop so it's cool!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

December 27, 2006  

ttd..yea I'm good just need to scream and vent I should be aight now LOL

pam..hey girl LOL..happy new year to you as well..I try to give a blow by blow LOL

December 27, 2006  

soo...........about Constant..........im tired too girl..i partied,studied, and worked hard last week. Didnt get to see the strippers, didnt make it to no clubs, but i got fawked up.....kicked it with my fam which is a rarity and spread some Xmas joy .....yall still going to the city right...Maybe I might be up that way....

December 27, 2006  

well that was a packed few days, I didn't get there until Monday and you headed out on tues. oh well.....guess we gotta stop beating around the bush and hook up at home, lol

December 27, 2006  

Those two extra days off got me lazy. I dreaded getting out of bed this morning.

Glad to hear you got the closure you needed.

Have fun in NYC!!!

December 27, 2006  

Those two extra days off got me lazy. I dreaded getting out of bed this morning.

Glad to hear you got the closure you needed.

Have fun in NYC!!!

December 27, 2006  

I'm gonna have to start doing you like I do Nikki: "this shit is too long to read therefore I won't be reading it". Thxbuhbye.

December 27, 2006  

wonderful weenkend. i'm glad to got closer. follow ur heart. ur such a friend in my head. i wish u all the best in the new year!2007

December 27, 2006  

negro...what about him LOL..sike nah yea we gonna be up there you should come cause we have no clue as to what we are doing...

smm..I know especially since we work in the city but you know how that goes LOL...metro makes me wanna go home LOL

TSG..girl tell me about it I'm sooo ready to go home and I said next year I'm takin the whole week off

Stilt..that's just lazy LOL

sweetness..yea I'm glad that's over we'll see how I fare in the coming days but I'll have NY to distract me for a bit so that's good LOL

December 27, 2006  

I hope you truly got the closure you wanted with Constant.

Hope you have fun on your trip.

December 27, 2006  

there was lots of food in that post. yum!! oh hampton a thought sent from heaven above! love hampton. miss the water. constant needs the boot permanently. i forgot i had a good girlfriend? that is a crock of shit. its not like he had sex w/her once right? nope. kick him to the curb.

December 27, 2006  

I'm with Jameil...good ol Hampton!
The bullsh*t that spews from the mouths of these men! Good luck with that...hopefully you can move on now (if that's what you want).

New Years in NY...have fun!

December 28, 2006  

Freaky...we shall see...just closure on the subject so I can move past that...I'll try to have fun LOL

jameil...girl man I ate so much I think I hurt myself LOL...chicken, ham, mac and cheese, collards, cake, pie and stuffing with gravy umm umm LOL

dollface...yea Hampton has it's moments LOL...yes men are hilarious sometimes I forget that I have a girl I mean I haven't had one in a while LOL...we shall see Music is doing a good job of helpin me move on lol....I will def try to have fun I've never been to NY..driven through it but not stayed there..so we shall see

December 28, 2006  

Catharsis. You finally got it. Congrats!!

December 28, 2006  

epsilonicus...LOL great now I have to go look up what that means LOL and i"m guessing that it means closure LOL

December 28, 2006  

epsilonicus...purging hmm I like this new word LOL

December 28, 2006  

heyyyy honey!! :D

i've decided to make sure i always say that when i post on your blog! (LOL) anyway... don't even talk about bein' back at work!! i've been off since LAST tuesday afternoon and i'm still dreading Jan. 2nd rollin' around. damn! (LOL)

sounds like you had a great Christmas break! i'm glad to see you had your heart-to-heart with constant. if you're not mad at him anymore, i won't be mad either!! :)

Peace!

December 28, 2006  

That is some relationship drama for your ass girl!

Whooo.

But who am I to talk?

Anyway...

Have a GREAT TRIP!!

And spill it all when ya get back.

December 28, 2006  

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