Life through my eyes......

Thursday, February 22, 2007

I Know...

that I'm a good catch you don't have to tell me over and over. Telling me that it's no surprise that I have a man now...please don't take this as me thinking that I'm too good for you. Then again in actuality I just might be. I don't need someone who keeps referring to my physical attributes more than my mental. I mean yes it's nice to hear that I have sexy lips and enticing hips but DANG man can you mention something about how my opinions awaken your mind and cause you to think outside your little "box".

I mean why are you so concerned about me being happy, you weren't before. And on top of that if I wasn't happy do you think I'd be with him...ERRR your are annoying me quickly. Don't try to entice me with asking how my fam is doing, you don't know a dang on thing about them you're only doing it so I think that you've paid attention when I use to talk about them..then again I never talked about them to you so this is just your way of trying to get in where you don't fit in.

Stop sending me your number over and over...I'm not gonna use it. I'm not even gonna attempt to act like I'd use it. Cause you have a child right now and no that doesn't mean that I don't date men with kids but ummm you lied for a second about having a girl so you might want to handle that and focus on your kid.

And you...yea you buddy...Mr. Buffalo Solider. You decided we were not talking anymore. You had a hissy fit cause I didn't involve you in my business only after you TOLD me how I felt about you. So now I guess that you've given yourself time to cool down and realize that I'm pretty darn fabulous you want to see if I'll talk to you or give you a lil action. You didn't get action from me when we were talking and you're not getting any now....I mean I'm glad you're well and everything is wonderful over there in Iraq and that you want to see me when you come home for 2 weeks but ummm why should I even entertain that.....why should I care...I was really into you....and then you got insane with telling me that you thought I was playing with your emotions and I really didn't care about you or your daughter...I dont' have time for that....so when you took it upon yourself to tell me that I didn't care...I proceeded not to.

Funny how you want to tell me that I wont be happy. That I'll want to chill and hang out with you....ehhhhhh nuh. How about you have me confused with a woman who doesn't know a good thing and right now I'm good. Why would I want to demote myself and deal with your nonsense again. I tell ya, talking about that's why we need to be together....why...so you can feel good about the fact that you're not with a chicken head, you're with someone who upgrades you....boo I shouldn't have to upgrade you. If you aint' already on my level then we have nothing to converse about.

Hmmm I don't even know how to tell you this right now, but I wish I didn't have to or need to. Funny how someone has just popped up and taken all my focus off of you and what I thought we were going to have. I realized last week that I might occupy a little space in your world but I want more than a little space I want a whole room....matter fact a few rooms. I know that ignoring you will only make it worse so I'll have to tell you that we can only be friends now and I don't mean friends with benefits I mean just friends.....I really honestly do care for you...I have cared for you for the past 3 years...so this is soooo hard right now.....you aren't ready to be with me and you probably will never be so I stopped waiting. I guess you noticed my focus being drawn away and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner.....

For someone that I've named Constant you sure don't live up to your name and now you wanna pop up with all these words and promises....well this time I'm done. I'm not entertaining them, I'm not soaking them up.... I'm not even gonna care (it's gonna be hard but it has to be done). I met you at a time when I didn't even think I could love someone again and that all changed and I although we are where we are in this thing I care about you and your well being cause that's who I am and I won't ever stop loving you, but I won't subject myself to being in love with someone who only tells me they love me when they are in the middle of the ocean. I'm not a priority to you and perhaps I will be later but I'm not putting my life on hold just cause you wnt to decide if I'm the one for you. It's sooo hard letting you go but I told you that one day you were gonna come around and I wasn't gonna be down and today is that day.

This just isn't to one person it's to a handful, random thoughts I've put together these last few months that I've spent getting to know HIM. Funny how I kept denying what was occuring and now when I'm finally recognizing it folks come out the wood works professing love and all that junk. I don't know the future and to be honest I don't want to know what's gonna occur..I like living in this moment right here, right now. It's also funny to me how I've known him the shortest but he's the one who has taken it upon himself to spend most of his time with me. These last 3 months have seemed like 6 months...it didn't take him forever to realize that he wanted to be with me so why does it take others so long to come around...after I've found happiness in someone other than them......ah well

posted@10:26am
posted by Ms.Honey at 7:12 AM

18 Comments:

Thats the way of the world, as soon as you take one step forward, stuff (people) come at you from all sides so that you can take five steps back...

Honey, honestly, just STOP communicating with them, period...the thing is people (men & women) tend to deglect others when they are there, and then once you are gone and have moved on, its all of a sudden a "light bulb" affect and they "realize" how special you are...

and you ARE special...

but they really just don't want to see you with anyone else...its the game...

tell them bama to BET IT...you are happy and so they really need to BUG OFF (I wanna curse but I am working on that...LOL)

I am loving the last part...when you said "well this time I'm done. I'm not entertaining them, I'm not soaking them up I'm not eevn caring. I told you that one day you were gonna come around and I wasn't gonna be down and today is that day"

I LOVE IT! Stay strong sistah...

Keep moving forward...its hard sometimes to move forwad, but moving forward is what we all have to do sometimes...

You gonna make it...

February 22, 2007  

You send him this?

It's kind of sad. I wonder how many of his woman got the spill you did about the playing w/his emotions and such....:-(

February 22, 2007  

Good for you girl for moving forward on your own terms. Sometimes it's so hard to give voice to your feelings like you've done, but when it's over you feel better for it. The best thing to do may be to cease all communication that way there's a clean break with no potential for "residual feelings buildup".

February 22, 2007  

You have a good thing and you know it. Good for you. You are seeing people for who they are and not letting them mess you up.

February 22, 2007  

TC...it's just funny how everyone wants to tell me how nice I am and everything and how they regret how things went down wayyy after it's all said and done...wanna pop up and act like it's all good when it's not....but I'm done so it is all good LOL

Lady...nah this was to a couple of folks..yea I wonder, he sent me an email the other day and roomie asked me if I thought he wrote it (Constant)...I told her I didn't know and I could care less

Tasha...Yep and I'll admit it pains me to move past all that but I'm good and you can't progress if you don't leave other stuff behind

Miz...Thanks, sad when folks try to play you for a fool then realize that they are the fool

February 22, 2007  

Honey, they always come back and have something to say...and they don't always say it when you think...my ex that I talk about in the V-day post...it took him almost 2 years to really confront me and apologize and let me know that I was were it was at...and he hasn't and doesn't think he will ever find someone like me...and I loved that boi, I thought that we were going to get married the whole 9, it was 5 years of my life...and you know what, I looked at him and said "Thank you, I needed to hear that..." and kept right on going...don't get me wrong I thought about it...but it was time for ME to do for ME and he wasn't for ME...

so don't let them get you to second guessing yourself...take it for what it is, them finally realizing who YOU really are...good for them...its too late, but good for them...

My BF's mother always tells us, you want a man that wants you more than you want him...because its easy for us to want...but not for them...you have that dude that has put in the effort and time...go for it and just be happy...

I don't know why just wanted to add that little bit extra to the convo

February 22, 2007  

TC...you are correct and thanks for the extra cause I always need it LOL What's occuring right now is suppose to occur and I'm realizing that

February 22, 2007  

If they dont get the point just let me know and I will send out the enforcer and he will take care of em for you. LOL... I am just joking. I am so glad you realize that you are special and deserve your hun. You deserve to be where you are right now. I loved the whole post. You know I got half a mind to take it and change some stuff and put it in my teaching aids.

February 22, 2007  

That is how it always happens, I've experienced that before. It's like they can smell your happiness and decide they want that with you all of a sudden, like wow, where have you been? You are happy where you are and you should bask in that. So I say congratulations on your happiness and good for you for getting it all out!

February 22, 2007  

I bet this was hella cathartic!

Wonder if they got a chance to read how you felt...

February 22, 2007  

men are so funny. don't wanna commit to you, but don't want you with another. I hate when ppl jerk around with my feelings like that. let me be happy where im at. they know their time has passed, they just have to learn to live with it.

February 23, 2007  

I think the best thing to do is stop all communication from the 'others'. Blocked their number from your phone, block their email addresses. Girl I've had to block a couple of numbers and emails.

February 23, 2007  

I say ignore them all..

February 23, 2007  

Yes! Yes!!!!

Is there like an email or something that goes out so that the past knows something better is going on in the present? Like seriously. They come outta the woodwork.

February 25, 2007  

OH mama say mama saw ohh blah blah blah..I told ya u had a man.......Yeah im hating......Tell HIM to get OVER himself. Men dont like when WOMEN make things FINAL. they want the last SAY>>>>HELL NAW>>>Im glad u are happy and in a better place.

February 26, 2007  

You do a good job telling people off. Can I hire you to tell some people off?? I got quite a few and I pay well lol

February 26, 2007  

girl this post had me saying say that say that!! too funny

February 26, 2007  

"i know that I'm a good catch you don't have to tell me over and over..."

YES THE HELL HE DOES!!!!! that's the only way he'll never forget and always remember why and how he lost you! ;-)

February 26, 2007  

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