Life through my eyes......
Monday, July 30, 2007
How did you know...
I head up the road trying to make sure I remembered to put my cell phone charger in my bad..proceed up 95 well down cause I'm going south but you get what I'm saying and hit some traffic (errr the mixing bowl near springfield is suppose to help with all this, personally I think it's still horrible) so I get off at the Backlick exit and head up route 1 to which I run into traffic again where it meets 95..so I hop back on 95 and no traffic well a little but alot I'm like what the heck is going on between backlick and the woodbridge exit..nonsense that's what it is..probably someone pulled over and folks being nosey I tell ya. So anyway I get to the house and Hun is wrapping up some stuff and we head to Outback to get some food....laughing and talking. I've become pretty open with him and I'm like ya know I can honestly say that I look forward to marrying you and having your children..he looks at me, smiles and says I am too. Then I say I know your baby's head will be big so I'm not looking forward to that LOL....he says no you got a big head look at your nephew LOL..great. We sit down and while eating our food this lady walks by with this biggggg ring on her ring finger..I'm like babe umm that's huge..he says BALLLIINNN and I'm like can I have something that big LOL. Of course he busts out laughing....so we get home after having a great dinner..I had some wings (i dont do steak too much) and he had steak....we had some drinks.....and we watch a lil tv....head to take a shower and while lathering up (man I love that shower lol) he says I was gonna tell you the other day but your black so I'm not gonna tell you (that's his excuse for me acting crazy lol..and when I say your black too he says no I'm puerto rican...yea right lol) anywho I say what tell me.....he says nah I'm not telling you so I'm like fine....of course that aint work and 2 sec later I'm like tell me plllleeeassseee LOL...he's like aight. SILENCE......and I'm like come on man what LOL....scared and wondering what the heck he has to tell me and he says I love you. SILENCE....I smile....."What"......I love you. AWWWW Babe, you do, awwwww (of course I'm on the verge of tears dont ask me why lol then again I know why cause those are some serious words lol) yes I do...i was gonna tell you the other day but I just didn't. AWWW I love you too babe....and the rest that night is TMI LOL.
The whole weekend I'm like aww he loves me, I wonder when he knew....how does he know?
I began to think about the first time I knew I loved him....hmm to be honest I can't pinpoint a moment....I just sorta knew and it just sorta came out. There were culminating events....him hugging me as he talks on the phone, him changing my tire instead of letting me call Triple A, going with me to the museum even though he hates stuff like that....how do I know I love him.....hmm I'd have to say I just do lol....I get all touchy feely around him, I wanna be in the same room with him even if we're not talking, I melt when he kisses me....he makes me want to stay focused and make millions LOL (sike Im jokin), but seriously the man is focused and he stays on the grind...sometimes I get sad cause I cant' see him but the funny part is the first thing that pops into my head whenI think that is that song when I hustle by huey and lloyd...yea it's a weird song to think of but we all hustle whether it be legally or illegally..you do what you gotta do to feed yourself and your family. We were talking about our past relationships and he mentioned that he could have gotten some girls pregnant (an ex and a white girl..I said that cause the white girl wasn't his girl..not that it makes a difference so dont say that I'm racist lol I'm just sayin lol great) and I was like well what if I said that what would you do...he says well we'd just have to prepare to have a baby your different it might not have been planned but we're together and we're gonna have a family.
He was on the phone yesterday and I overheard him asking one of his friends how long his brother had been with his girl (he's getting married apparently) and I dont know what he said but Huns response was hmm I'm gonna have to drag it out longer than that LOL...lets hope it wasnt that long or he's gonna get his feelings hurt LOL...it's funny cause we get into tifts, we go our seperate ways and then we'll talk later and be fine..example yesterday after I had cooked dinner I was tasting the chicken (baked) to see how it tasted cause I cooked it in a bag in the oven....and I bit down on my tongue and I'm about to cry cause I have no tolerance for pain (I dont know how I'm gonna birth children lol...slap that needle in me NOW forget how I'm dialated just do it NOW) he's like awwww woman up and I'm like be quiet and ok I was over doing it but I can't help it I tend to be that way, I can help it but I like over doing it lol Im a baby what can I say and finally I guess it got too much for him and he was like shut the F up.....SILENCE......SILENCE....I'm staring at him, he's staring at me..I wanna say something..I wanna bust out crying cause his tone wasn't playful....I fix my food and stomp upstairs...screaming in my head I hate him, he sucks, I'm going home. I eat my food telling myself over and over in my head that I dont want him to come upstairs while all along hoping that he does....I hear him come back into the kitchen (he was in the basement, which is his studio) and I'm like dont come up here dont come up here....please come up here please come up here lol....he goes back downstairs...I dose off and hear him come into the room..I sense him staring at me..I slowly open my eyes and he's leanin over me....."Im sorry"....you forgive me....were you sleep....ok, alright, no i wasn't sleep. He kisses me asks me if I wanna watch a movie....I say no he asks me if i wanna talk to him...i say no i still wanna be alone. He goes downstairs..I watch a lil more TV and dose off again and then I go downstairs...I'm ready to talk....he gives me a hug pulls me onto his lap and says that he didnt mean to say it like that...I was overdoing it..i said ok. He says you dont think you had any part in it...umm no I smile. I was the one who bit my tongue I was the one that was hurt and he was like you were also the one overdoing it..I mean we could have taken you to the hospital if it hurt that bad..i said I was bleeding and he said ok well you wanna go to the emergency room...ok I'll admit i overdid it...great. I went back upstairs and proceeded to watch the rest of the movie I was watching.
He annoys me yes...I annoy him I know lol....but I love him just the same. I asked him again when did he know that he loved me and he says I dont know I didnt keep track of it.....but it doesn't matter when he knew all that matters is that he does :) Maybe one day he will tell me he says I'm trying to transform him but he's transforming on his own and I find it rather nice.
How did you know........
Random Thought: Who cares why Usher didnt' get married..I dont he not payin for future wedding..then again i wonder what was going through his head when he decided to call it off hmmmm to be a fly on that wall!