Life through my eyes......

My lil sis is seriously blowing me. How you just give birth like a week ago and you worried about when we going out...not to say that she is trying to go to the club but I'm like dang. I hope she dont think I would put my nephews off on my parents or that I'm gonna let her do that either..when I'm in town haha

I'm suppose to go home tomorrow since I have it off and I figured she would go into labor...but she had him last week..I can't wait to see my Ja'lyn who I have nicknamed JayDee (JD) his middle name is Derrick.

If I do go home we'll prob just do a movie and dinner or something..nothing too serious I cant bear the thought of my parents taking care of HER kids while we party the night away.

Ok so I am sooo in love with Lloyd's new CD man he never lets me down and there are few folks that I have every one of their cd's cause music tends to be trash these days...but I am feeling Keri Hilson's Energy I hope her CD does well.

Hun and I are aight I guess....honestly I dont know what or how I'm gonna handle whatever it is that I'm doing. I wanna move out..but that's easier said than done when you're paying a mortgage and going to school. So I'm gonna see how school goes and make plans to move out by the end of this year...does he know...no but honestly I dont even wanna talk to him about it until I can seriously move....he knows that I was thinking about it but he doesn't know that I'm still thinking about it.

About a month or so ago I got a message on myspace from some chic that had some info. Turns out she had been sleeping with him and what not. He had been lying about going to work and going over there and what not. I'm thinkin i'm giving him space to do music since thats what he claims he LOVES and he's bonin oh girl. Great, yea I'm not home all the time but I didnt move in with a guy to be alone all the time...so I hang out with my girls and other friends...I come home yea but when you make it a point to be like well if you aint here i work on music..I dont wanna do nothing but work on music...then I'm gonna think you dont want me around or you dont care if I aint around......yea uh huh. So we had a big blow up about that cause just the day before I had a strange feeling and I asked him about it and he was like nah things are good..I'm good...we're good then BAMN I find that out...great. On top of that I saw more info that I think he held out on and that's the other thing that hurts.

So he's trying to prove to me that he wont ever do that again...at this point I dont know if I even care cause everytime I leave or whatever I question what he says and does. He is planning something for my bday in October (if I'm still around then) I told him a while ago that I didnt wanna be in VA so I have no idea what he's planning...once again to prove to me I guess that he is very sorry. The part that blows me is that this fool really played the part I didnt see any of this crap coming....SERIOUSLY...ah well. I was always like oh he dont care if I leave he is gonna work on music anyway he is a real chill type dude yea uh huh chill with someone else lol

Lesson learned and I wouldn't have known any of this if we had not lived together. But what I hate is when folks take it upon themselves to tell me oh I dont you two should have moved in together do I say I dont think you should have come out today with that purple outfit on it makes you look like Barney..no I let you live your life mistakes and all....for the most part it isnt' even my girls cause they know I'm already half depressed about it's my male friends..well one in particular. But he's trying to holla so I'm kinda like boo dont be trying to make yourself seem better than the averge when you just like them...its just gonna take time for your dogness to shine through.

In other news I am soo ready for class to start I make my first tuition payment tomorrow and I buy my book in a couple of weeks. I took the first day of class off from work so I could have my head ready for this 4 class load. Needlesstosay the closer I get to finishing the more excited I get about finding a new job.

I was at R's job the other day and I realized just how strange our relationship might seem to folks. Roomie was like you spend more time with him than you do Hun and I was like yea I know..he's like the BF and Hun is like the roomie. He doesn't like to do anything and R will do everything. When I wanna go to the movies..I go with him. When I go for drinks he comes or meets me there....when I get invited to cookouts if Hun is acting stank...R goes....I know sad but true...ah well.

This weekend will be chill...gonna go look for a dress cause I'm hanging out with my girls and we've decided that we're all wearing dresses.....

I know I gotta update on my weight..I haven't forgotten just wanted get down some more before i report lol...have a great weekend since today is my FRIDAY!!!!


posted@11:07am

I was so not expecting to go home this weekend. I had taken off next Friday so I could be home the whole weekend since my lil sister was due with her third kid.

I get a call Saturday morning that her water had broken...I half way closed my eyes then jumped back up cause I realized that this is the first time that I could be there for the whole thing so I jumped in the shower, put clothes on, packed some clothes for that night and sunday and drove to hampton. Made it down there by 9:15am and lets just say I was on Big Sister/Auntie mode for the rest of the weekend.

I got hungry and decided that I would hit up the church picnic and also play with my nephews while I was there so I got lil sis some ice and told her I'd be back in like 2 hours. Got to the church, ate some food, played with the nephews and get a call that they are gonna give my sis the epidural.

I pack up the nephews and get my other sister and we head on to the hospital. My parents had other stuff to do so it was up to me to make sure that everything was ok. Of course it would have been ok even if I hadn't been there but you know how that goes, you just wanna make sure. Now my sister's pressure had been going up and down and the baby's heart rate was going up and down as well. Homegirl was on Magnesium and potocin (to induce her contractions which had stopped) so yea she was like in and out of it. She progressed from 4.5 cm to 5 to 7 and finally 9...my other sis took my nephews out the room and it was time for baby to come.

Now I've seen the videos and all that crap but to be there live and in living color man I was crying. She did a good job even though see was in and out of it. The midwife was like I hope she can remember she gave birth (I think my sis was a lil dramatic but that's just me..I aint had not one kid so what do i know lol). But she asked to hold him so the midwife was like well that's good. I got to cut the cord and be the first person to hold him.

My mom and dad got there like 10 min after Ja'lyn Derrick O'neil came into the world weighing 7.9 pds and 21 inches long. After they cleaned him up his big brothers came in and we all took pics of course. My youngest nephew fat fat (Jeremiah) was looking at JayDee like I'm the baby what are you doing here lol....

So once again I'm an AUNTIE!!!!! I've named my nephews the JSquad since all of their names begin with J's: Jai, Jeremiah and Ja'lyn.

So I'm pooped, I can not even begin to imagine how I will be preg lol...and yep I had another preg dream this time it was my momma.....what in the devil is going on....


posted@10:50am

I've gone and disappeared only to reappear lol...I know I know horrible of me...what can I say...lots of things going on and dont really have the time to update like I use to...

School starts in a month and when I say I am excited I mean that in every sense of the word...I can't wait!!

My lil sis lied about being 5cm had me all worried and what not. I promise she has mind problems...chic when to the hospital and is barely 3cm dialated. So she will prob go into labor when she is suppose to Aug 2nd. I took that Fri off so I'll prob go home thurs night after work or more than likely early Fri morning around 5am. Just so I can be there the whole weekend.

Things with Hun and I are kinda weird. He's trying and I can't that I knock him for it. It's just I dont care anymore. He did something that I didn't expect him to do and I to be honest I'm in shock. I dont wanna look at someone and have to wonder if they are telling me the truth everytime they do something and that's what I do. So I choose to ignore the situation and just do what I gotta do without saying anything...which I know is a bad thing but that's how I handle things.

Twin had her baby..she is soooo cute. She's the first baby born into the crew. When I say crew I mean to one of my closest friends. We met freshmen year in 2000 and we've been going strong ever since. Folks are amazed that we still talk to one another and what not but hey as they say in college you meet some of the best friends that you'll ever meet and that is just what happened to me. We're there for every bday, every crying night and every sunshinny day and I can't imagine not having those 5 ladies in my life :)

Hmm what else. Went to see Dark Knight and I LOVED it. Of course I'm a sensative soul so all I could think about was how Heath Ledger died in his prime..I tell ya I was sooo sad. Of course I loved how they brought all the characters stories in and you werent left hanging at least I wasn't so it was a great movie.

I rode R's bike on Saturday and we went to a pool party that was pretty aight. I regret the fact that I didn't get to get in the pool cause we got there so late but I'm going to a bartendars party on Saturday so that should make up for it lol. He's gonna teach me how to ride a motorcycle...so that should be fun...I told Hun what I was doing I have no idea if he was mad or whatever he didn't say he was but later that night he sent me a text and asked if I was still at my cousins house..I was like where else would I be...I guess he thought R's place...great

Now I gotta go see Hell Boy and Journey to the Center of the Earth (in 3d) if I can't see that in 3D then I dont wanna see it...great

Nothing much else going on....what's been going on with you.....guess I should just stop by the blogs huh?

Take care and whenever I disapper just holla at me on gmail I'll prob respond faster lol

posted@10:56am

I haven't done one of these in a while so since I was tagged...and I do like the person that tagged me LOL I figured I would participate....here goes:

The Rules"List seven songs that you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring/summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

Jazmine Sullivan (I need you bad): Boy I need you bad as my heartbeat, (bad like the food I eat)Bad as the air I breath, (baby I want you bad)I need you bad I can't take this pain, (bad I can't take this pain)Boy I'm 'bout to go insane (baby I need you bad)

This is my JAM...on top of that I have a compliation of her songs and I def play them :)

Deitrick Hadden w/ Mary Mary and Reuben (Love him like I do): See I got a testimony how He saved my soul When I was just a sinner left in the cold Gave me a second chanceSaved me from myself Came to my rescue When I needed help You want to know why I love him like I do Cause when my enemies said I was thru He took me from the bottom And put me on the top He laid his hands on me And now I can't be stopped

Jennifer Hudson (Spotlight): Well, I don't like Living under your spotlight Just because you thinkI might find somebody worthy Well, I don't like Living under your spotlight Baby, if you treat me right You won't have to worry

A newbie but I jam to it all the same

For some odd reason when summer or spring rolls around I jam to LL Cool J's Luv you better: Baby smile today Cuz I been on that journey always I'm gon' love you better When your friends'll see you too Just when you think there's nothin' else I can do I'm gon' love you better

Jordin Sparks (No Air): Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air Can't live, can't breathe with no air It's how I feel when i know you ain't there It's no air, no air Got me out here in the water so deep Tell me how you gon' be without me If you ain't here, I just can't breathe It's no air, no air

Monica (Everytime the Beat drops): This is my JAM and I love listening to it when the weather is nice out and my windows are down lol I can't help who I'm is, when they play my shh I just love to dance, every time the beat dropI love to wild out damn right, shake it all night Hey that's my jam, every time the beat drop I said UH, all the ladies in the club grab a dude And you work it real slow, you can do it Move it, till you make him lose it RoRoRoRock then bend my knees, every time the beat drop He gon' be a fan, every time the beat drop

and last but not least: Aerosmith (I dont wanna miss a thing): Yes I can jam to them to..put on this song and you would think I was about to die on the moon lol I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing' Cause even when I dream of youThe sweetest dream will never doI'd still miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing


OK I'm done...oh wait one more...Anita Baker (Angel): Love the way we touchI love the way it feelsEverytime you're near meMy poor heart just won't keep stillNo doubt about it that this love I feel is realAsk me to go with you, you know I willHold me near, hold me tightOnly you can make it realOnly you can make it alrightJust let me know that I am special to youMy angel, oh angelYou're my angel, oh angelYou're my angel, oh angelYou're my angel, oh angelYou're my angel, oh angel

I tag everyone in my comments: List your songs in the comments section...ready......set....GO!!!

posted@3:37pm

Remember that episode of Different World where Whitley was taught this method cause she was being soo extra...then again she was always extra but this is one of my favorite episodes...along with the one where Dwayne crashes her wedding...classic

Anyway....life has been life...it aint roses and hot apple pie with ice cream. It kicks ya when your down then laughs at you while your trying to get back up only to push you over again.

I'm good now....at a place where I really dont wanna talk about what occurred....perhaps at a later date....but I'm not dying or on the verge of throwing myself into rush hour traffic LOL so breathe easy homies :)

Why was I walking down the street the other day on my way to the bank talking to my lil sis and some Spanish man who was walking with one of his homies proceedes to walk in front of me with his arms open and if you know me a lil bit you know I was like eww what the piss and I'm sure my face was all twisted up LOL....boo get the heck outta my way...lookin like some hot trash on a 100 degree day. My lil sis was crackin up.

She's found a new boo, I of course as her big sis told her to learn from before....have your own space and time....be who you wanna be dont try to spend all your time and efforts on someone else....you can love them yes but dont forget you in the process...I've been there done that and aint trying to go there again.

It's crazy how you know that change is good and sometimes needed but darn it to heck if that crap dont hurt like a wooden splinter. You know what you gotta do, but doing it can take forever.

All i can say is that I can't wait for Thursday to come....of course its everyone's Friday..unless your just horribly unlucky lol and I can't say that I wish I were you....and I have monday off...so I'm gonna be in straight party mode come Thursday night....I expect to sleep, clean, drink, eat, but not over eat and just enjoy this time off of work before I start school again in Aug. I'm taking 4 classes instead of 3 cause I wanna be done by next summer...gotta make moves.

I've had dreams for the last month that I was preg...what the piss....needlesstoday I am on tummy watch like it aint no joke. No I'm not actively trying to get preg but when you have a sister who seems to make babies in her sleep lol you gotta wonder.


Have a great weekend!!!!

posted@10:15am