Life through my eyes......

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Smile

Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty. --Doris Day

I'm greatful for....

.....the cold weather outside, it makes me appreciate having a home to go to and a bed to sleep in

.....you wanting to come over last night and bringing your dinner to fix (I had already eaten but you let me eat off your plate)

.....HIM watching over me when I don't even know that I need watching over

.....my family, they are in my thoughts and prayers daily

....my little sister (Havoc, I changed her name) who turns 21 today, I know that everything happens for a reason and I pray that this time she's going through in her life helps us all change for the better

....my toot who told me to have a good day auntie (I love him more than life itself)

....the anticipation of the weekend..I have nothing planned other than the gym and a baby shower but at least I get to sleep LOL

.....the gay moments (that's what Music calls them) that I have with you LOL....I call them mushy moments, you make me smile and I just like to let you know that even if you find it corny LOL

......how we hold hands as we fall asleep, yes it's weird but I like it just the same

......the anticipation of future time spent with you, I will admit I wonder what and how we will have progressed come the summer time.

......a job that I can come to each week day morning, many people don't have a job or are in jobs that they despise

.....being able to go to the gym and notice change, that motivates me to continue to go

.....understanding that my body has it's own way of losing weight, I can't force it to come off, it'll come off when it wants to

......knowing that because its coming off slow it will stay off (if I do what I need to do to keep it off)

.....how you sat on my lap this time LOL, like a big kid I tell ya

.....the frustration that verizon is causing to my brain, cause I have a cell phone...lots of folks don't LOL

......the $4 shoes I bought the other day, yes they are summer shoes but who cares LOL, they were $4!!

....understanding that I do have a shoe problem and I'm handling it, it's not easy being an addict

.....knowing when to say no

......stepping back and analyzing just how I've grown and learned over the last few years

.......realizing that letting go even when you think you can't is sometimes the best thing

...for my upcoming appt to see the dentist LOL..yea I hate going but I'm going to see how this braces thing works this year (I won't have to wear them long)

.....having a working cell phone after getting a new one on monday..this one seems to work...thank you VERIZON..I thought we were gonna have some issues LOL

.....realizing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made :)


Find the good -- and praise it.--Alex Haley



posted@9:35am
posted by Ms.Honey at 6:15 AM 19 comments

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Tuesday Thinkings

Listening to Sittin up in my room by Brandy..I remember when this was my JAMMMMM...and funny cause sometimes I do think about him when I'm sitting in my room lol

Why did I get a sore throat yesterday...what the heck is going on...it's gone now well somewhat gone...roomie fixed me some cranapple tea with honey....i love her LOL

I can't wait till this weekend..well actually I can..I have to get a new tire and get an oil change...great.

IM is hilarious..Red sends me an IM and I was like this ain't Honey (LOL) he was like oh is it roomie 1 or roomie 2...I was like no, but I'll tell her to get at you...I said who is this he was like who is this LOL....then he copped a tude and was like I thought so halla (cause I said it ain't that serious) I was like what halla.....he's corny freakin loser LOL

Why is it sooo cold outside....spring where are you I wanna wear open toe shoes and not have my toes freeze off or have folks look at me funny cause I'm limpin in the snow LOL

My deposit for the DR trip is off which means that it's on and POPPIN!!!! Come May I'll be sunning in my cute lil one piece with the back out LOL (depending on how the tummy looks lol)

I have decided to spend one day during the week when I go to the gym on the treadmill..usually I do half on the mill and the other doing machines...yesterday I spent all my time on the treadmill...I did a lil over 3 miles.

I promise this lady at my job is so nasty....I shouldn't be able to hear you cosneeze (cough/sneeze) with my headphones on..WOW

I've drunked so much water today I'm almost at 60 oz and I've been to the bathroom about 6 times..I know they like what the heck is wrong with her.

I saw this homeless lady talking to herself..well she was more than talking to herself she was fussin at her blanket cause she didn't know what time they got home last night....sad that you find yourself talking to yourself when your homeless..bush really needs to do something about the nations capital...crime and homelessness are not cool.

Get me bodied..hmm what exactly does that mean LOL

Just waiting on confirmation that my sister (Favorite) can move in with the Bestest and I'm gonna go home and help her move....I know she needs the money but we'll see

Ain't no shame cause I gotta get mine....I ain't worried doing me tonight

Of course I talked to Music last night....he was fussin about how his comp kept cutting off and I was fussin about the incompetence of the tech people at Verizon

Why was most of my day yesterday spent running up and down the street between my job and the verizon store which is like 2 blocks away and a DC block isn't long but it was cold outside LOL. I told these fools that it won't my battery and they said yea it is so I buy one at the only store that has one left in DC and VA (I still don't understand how only one store in this area has one battery WOW) put it on my phone charge it..take it off the charger when it says it's done and this thing goes back to 2 bars...I take it back to the first store after calling and they finally give me a new phone..so I'm back to my V..I missed my keyboard..couldn't text as much as I wanted LOL..never do I have to run around the city though...I promise I lost 5 pds yesterday

Gotta get my god daughters charm for her bracelet...my goal is to get her one every year and then when she turns 16 or maybe 10 LOL..I'll get her a bracelet to put all the charms on. She'll be 2 this year so maybe her charm will be a teddy bear.

My nephew turns 3 in June might get him a car or something to ride in he's just learning the concept of riding his tricycle LOL...before he was pushing with his feet...now he tries to peddle

His mother left they don't know where she is..I told my other sister not to worry about it cause she always goes off and comes back..at least she didn't take my toot with her..cause I'd be home faster than you can say beetlejuice.

I know my boss was annoyed that I kept leaving but hey I had to get my phone working plus it's right down the street...he was like where were you..my phone was ringing..I was on the verge of saying and LOL...but I remembered where I was at...great

I wanna go see Smokin Aces I've heard it was good...lets hope i don't fall asleep on it like I did snakes on a plane.

I love NY is too hilarous for words..it's my guilty pleasure. Yes I know it's stupid, yes I know she and her momma are insane. But the only dude I like on there is Tango and I promise he don't need to be with her...he needs to be with me LOL. I want to see him win cause he's a good dude but I don't want to see him win cause she's just nasty LOL

We were watching some of it the other day when Music was over and I kept saying em em LOL and he kept trying to cover my eyes..yet when he saw christina milian (in she's the man) he was like she could get it...great LOL

I find myself of being conscience of the fact that he doesn't come over too much LOL...so roomie doesn't get annoyed cause I know how that is, but he doesn't leave his clothes over and he's not over during the week so I think we're pretty much on the same page and she knows that I wouldn't let him come over too much to the point where it seems like he's living there LOL..I detested that about her sisters boyfriend being over ALLLLLL the time. It was like he was living there but we were paying rent...I mean if you gonna be over that much buy some groceries or something, but he would just eat and not do nothing....at least music has bought groceries LOL

We just had a fire drill..why did the fire truck come like 10 min after we had been standing outside...umm I could have blown up by then LOL...

Going to a baby shower on saturday in Richmond...one of the homies lil sis is having a baby....we're gonna carpool...I have to see roomies sister who moved out to live with her BF great....all I know is my momma said (Water Boy voice) that if you can't say nothin nice don't say nothin at all LOL

I found out that one of my other friends is having a baby and getting married..wooohoooo

Why did the bestest ask when I was getting married I said umm you will see Olivia (her daughter) get married first LOL....

Marriage is serious and of course it's nothing to be rushed into....you can't get rid of me that easy LOL...I'm in it for the long haul..takes too long to meet someone else and fall in love LOL

Hmm I need a brown blazer...might go get one after work...great.

I said this other lady at work sounded like she was gettin sick why did the office germ box start coughing louder and breathing hard...boo you dang on near dying there is no need for me to acknowledge you and your sickness LOL...personally I think it's all in her head

Aww I know Music will be glad to have a whole day away from me on Saturday,can't be with one another 24/7 we ain't married go do what ya do shawty ....LOL

posted@11:55am
posted by Ms.Honey at 7:38 AM 16 comments

Monday, January 29, 2007

Weekend Wrapup

It's Monday and I'm tired. My body hurts and I just want to go to sleep. It's not like I didn't get any sleep this weekend but I just wanna go to sleep. I'm not sure if I'm getting sick or what...I fell asleep last night while the Celebration of Gospel was on and woke up aroun 930 to my roomie telling me my phone was ringing...it was a text message from Music.

So lets just say this weekend had it's moments LOL. Like me and Music on our way to dinner on friday and discovering that I had a tire that was spitting out air..and I mean spitting it out. He put his finger over the hole and there was a hissing noise when he moved his finger off of it..so it was SERIOUS. So we got back in the car..after making it all the way to Uno's and no less than 5 min down the road I heard the tire rolling on the rim...so we pull over into the nearest neighborhood and get the spare out. I will be emailing Toyota cause the jack that they included in my car is straight garbation. I mean I'm a female and from recent gym visits I know that I have no upper body strength...I don't know how they expected me to work that thing with that lil wrench thing a majic that they gave me. I was like what the piss good thing my handyman was there :) that's what I'm calling him LOL. He put the spare on after we realize that we probably shouldn't use that wrench thing but the thing that holds the tire in place...it's gold I have no clue what it's called but umm anywho we or rather he..I held the tire bolt things LOL, put the spare on. So I have to get a new tire sometime this week. Since I don't drive my car that often it doesn't really matter. I told him that everything is an adventure he was like no everything with you is an adventure LOL...I said this is our first adventure together, he reminded me of our hunt for imaginary liqour stores a weekend ago when my sister was here LOL. I told him I keep his life exciting :) So we get to dinner, eat and what not..chat about work, life..how we spend time together...has he ever lived with female and all that jazz....and no we are NOT moving in together LOL We then went home and tried to watch Snakes on a Plane but fell asleep.

Saturday we woke up kinda late....we were gonna go to the gym but he forgot his shorts at home (funny thing is last week I was gonna buy him some, but I didn't) so we just laid around the house. He was suppose to go over one of his boys house to make some music but he wasn't picking up his phone so he worked on some stuff at my house...we played around on his camera phone taking like a billion pics LOL..or should I say that I played around on the phone. He said I was molesting it LOL. Let's just say that most of the pics he has on his camera phone now are either him, me or me and him LOL....and last I checked he hadn't deleted them LOL We grabbed some lunch...watched The Devil Wears Prada (yes he got some cool points for that LOL) and he even told me and roomie that we don't pick out bad chic flicks LOL...I think he liked the fact that the boss was so cruel..go figure. So he headed home, but by this time it was a lil late but he had to finish something for his friend....since we were going to the gym the next morning he comes back over a lil before 12.

Sunday we got up went to the gym and let me say that this dude is hilarious. The Bally's we go to is down the street from my house and they just did some construction to it. When we first went there he was like mine is better than yours and all this crap and now he's like dang man I love your Bally's it's cooler than mine LOL. We did the machines for a little, lifted some weights...I'm a serious weakling...I was struggling lifting the bar which is 45 pds LOL. We did some things with the arm weights and some arm curls then we headed for the treadmill....I did 2 a half miles on the treadmill..half was an incline the rest was no incline and I made it up to between 4.5 and 5...of course stopping and going again. He was laughing at me talking about that's a walk for me yea well buddy I was about to pass out. My calfs were killin me. After that we did the stairstepper. Man I told him don't ever do that to me again I was on fire..I couldn't even do it for 30 min my legs were hurting so bad...I said the next time we go we have to do that first then the treadmill, cause I was bout to fall off LOL. After that I chilled while he finished the stairstepper and then we did some more lifting and all that jazz. Went home and ate some chicken breast (that he cooked on the foreman) and some brocolli (that I was suppose to cook but I took a shower so I was fired LOL). I'm gonna try to make it a point to eat more veggies and less carbs...not eliminating them just reducing them. So we'll see what happens when I do that. But I know my arms are straight hurting well maybe not my arms but my chest too LOL. He stuck around till about 7ish I think and then headed home.

It's funny how it doesn't feel like he's over that much, but it's only on the weekends maybe once during the week. Plus he doesn't have any clothes over except for a shirt so he's not "living" there but when he's gone I miss him LOL. I mentioned his name when Young One (yea I know) called and asked me what I was doing..told him me and roomie and music were watching the devil wears prada. On top of that I suggested we go ice skating of course he looked at me like I was crazy but I think we'll go..who knows....it's amazing to me how much he surprises me. Just when I'm like hmm I wonder if he likes me as much as I like him...he'll hug me, or chase me around the house...or call. Last night the text message that I got said You're a good woman....

I'm not worried about a title cause it is what it is.......we just are...if someone views that as being together then ok and if someone views that as not being together it doesn't matter cause we are what we are LOL...he's special to me and we'll just leave it at that. I told him that I spend so much time with him that it's like we're together and he agreed as well...so that's that LOL

In other news...I'm trying to get my sister to move in with my best friend. My other sister is reeking havoc and if my parents won't put my lil sister out then I told my sis (who came up here)needs to save herself. She won't prosper or do what she needs to do if lil ms. I am the ish, continually steals her stuff, and annoys the crap out of her. The bestest said she would talk to the leasing office to see if there was a 3 bedroom available...cause she has a little girl. On top of that she thought about it when I called her earlier that day just forgot to mention it to me. I feel horrible for my sister (middle one) cause she's sooo sweet and she called me crying...she NEVER cries...so I was about to drive down there on a spare and get her. Yes she's 23 but she's my little sister and when someone harms her friend or foe I'm ready to kick some tail...I promise if my dad hadn't been my dad I would have yelled yesterday cause he was like well it's the usual and I said no it's not dad she is crying she NEVER cries...this has got to stop. I feel bad for my parents cause they are doing all they can and lil sis is making their lives hell on earth.

Off to see what your weekends were like

posted@9:30am
posted by Ms.Honey at 6:08 AM 22 comments

Friday, January 26, 2007

My Sister

I love you more than life itself and would even harm myself just to make yours more liveable. So it pains me to have to say what I'm about to say to you.

What you're doing to yourself is horrible. Your potential is endless, yet you seek out negativity and pain. When I look in your eyes I see dreams that are fading....dreams that you once had that are now dimming because you can't seem to understand just how great you are. You're like a cancer...sucking dry all the love from those around you. You infest your negative energy and hurt on those who only want the best for you. There isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't feel physical pain becuase of what you've done to yourself and what you're doing to the two people that I love the most.

I can't even grasp where it all began. I guess I could say it started when you were small and since you were the baby everyone spoiled you...then again perhaps it came from the fact that you being the baby never got to experience what your two older sisters experienced. The nights alone, having no food for hours, sitting in a house waiting for the woman that you knew as mommy to come home and even when she is home she doesn't care about the well being of her children. I can't seem to understand why you would even want to have a part in that. You were the blessed one, you didn't even have to set foot in that house, feel that pain....yet your reliving it each time you step into the street, leaving your child behind. Yes, he's being well taken care of but do you know how much he misses you when you leave. Do you ever stop to think that when he's older he is going to remember how you were more focused on sexing a man who didn't and probably won't ever love you than to stay at home and hold him. One of the two men in your life who will always love you. Do you ever stop to think that while you are in the midst of what you probably call passion that you are slipping away in his mind?

Then again you could probably care less, your selfish...but of course so am I. That's why I can't seem to understand why. Why can't I hug you and make your pain go away? Why can't I stop time and space and help you make things better? Why can't I help you? I cry when I think about being your sister, because what good am I? You're doing what you want, you don't care so why should I? Probably because I am your sister and I know just what you can do if you set your mind to it. I know how smart you are, I know how beautiful you are. I know you want someone to love you but you have to first love yourself. I know that having someone to call your own is what you crave...I've been there. I know that you think that because she abandoned us that you have to do things that you might not want to do just to have someone stay with you. I know that you fear you will never find love. But the truth is I don't think you find love, I think love finds you. When you least expect it....when you've probably stopped believing in it.....when you might not even think it exists anymore. Yet it pops up, causing you to question the hows and whys yet not even caring because everything around you now lives and breaths love.

You have that right here. With me, with us, with your son. We will always love you, even when you fear that experiencing love will never come. But you can't experience love in it's truest form unless you love yourself. You have to stop what you're doing....because it's killing you. No, not physically (yet), but spiritually and mentally and in turn you are killing those around you. It's so hard to love someone but I guess that's the meaning of true love. Loving them and holding out even when they don't believe in themselves, fighting with them through the addiction to pain, the feelings of hate, the feelings of betrayal.

I want you to know that I'm always in your corner, you never have to worry about me not being there for you. But you must go. I'm not saying that you won't cross my mind and that I won't worry about you and how you are and what you're doing, but you have to leave. You have to learn that life isn't easy...and you can't do any and everything that you want to do and still be taken care of. Life is what you make it and right now yours is nothing. You have no focus, no drive, yet you want the world at the palm of your hands...it doesn't work that way....you can't have it your way. I hear you fuss at me and call me spoiled...truth of the matter is I don't want to be spoiled, never have wanted to be spoiled. If I were spoiled I probably wouldn't know the value of a dollar or for that matter tough love. I work for mine, I pay my bills, I put in work, I scrimp and save when there is something that I want and I suffer the consequences when I dont' have money left because I didn't save.

What you see when you look at me is just that you looking at the physical me...you don't see how I struggle, how I sometimes lay in bed at night and cry asking God to just get me through. You don't see the moments when sometimes I feel like I was 2 again waiting for my mommy to come home and love me. I bet you probably don't even know that I, your big sister has once (or twice) had sex with someone just to feel as if they wanted me. Just to feel that I was special, just to feel that I was loved. Feeling like I was trash after he left, crying behind closed eyes while he were doing what he did. Telling myself that I didn't want it to happen yet allowing it to happen just because he was there with me at the moment, at that time and I thought it meant something. I thought it meant he would stay and love me...when i didn't even like him to be honest. Finding out that it meant nothing...because if it did then he'd be here now.

You are like me in so many ways yet so unlike me that it scares me. If someone truly knew us they could point out the similarities. It's so much deeper than physical. The only big difference is that I had and felt the need to prove her wrong. I didn't want her to think that I would end up like her, I wanted them to be proud of me when they called me their daughter. I wanted her to cry when she realized that she could never call me her child again. I wanted her to suffer, I wanted her to feel what I felt...and I know you do too....I can see it in your eyes when I look at you. I see myself in your eyes and it scares me. I want to reach out and hug you, touch you, make you feel as special as I know you are. It's hard because just when I think I'm nothing like you and her....I stop myself and I'm reminded that we are cut from the same cloth just different patterns. I still cling to people who mean me no harm....probably just to have them around. I know you thought your big sister was stronger but I have my moments...when I think that love will never find me.....when I feel as though the world is whooping my tail and everyone is leaving me behind.

Then I think about just how much I have to be thankful for and to be honest it all outweighs the bad. I mean I could still be with her....probably with a couple of kids, into drugs and if not that sleeping around. I could be living out on the street, trying to do what I gotta do to make things happen....I could be..anywhere doing anything. But I'm not, I'm here, I have life health and strength. Parents that love me and want the best for me, a job that allows me to eat and survive. So I can't complain at all and to be honest who wants to listen to a complainer.

Please don't end up like her. Running from demons that will continue to hunt you even when you think you have buried them all. Chasing demons that will never be buried unless you face them, own up to them, embrace them..and move on. Please seek help.....don't be blinded by what you think is love and what you want it to be. Find love in yourself and I promise that everything else will come into place. Ask God for help...I'm sure he won't mind....I ask him all the time and even when I forget to ask and try to do it my way he still steps in and takes care of it all. That's just how great he is.

You are beautiful, you're wonderful, your intelligent.....you can do and be anything that you want to be my sister, but you have to change. It's going to be hard...I know, but I'm here...we're all here for you......you can call me whenever and I'll come I promise. But you have to go.......you have to walk down this path on your own two feet. I can't push you.....I can't shove you....I'll walk beside you. There are times when I won't be able to walk beside you and you'll feel like you're alone, but God is always there.....and in spirit I'll be there too and if it ever gets to hard and you think that you can't make it..call me and we'll do it together.

You'll always be my baby sister.....but it's time for you to become a woman.

I love you..........

~HoneyLibra~
posted by Ms.Honey at 5:28 AM 25 comments

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Goodbye

I don't even know why I feel the need to talk to you right now, because we haven't spoken or rather had a long conversation in a while. But every once in a while I think of you. When I glance at my window and see a perfect sunset.....when I see no stars in the sky only the moon....when I see Jack finally let go on the Titanic. I think of you.

Just when you think that you have it all figured out and there will be no surprises something occurs and you understand that you know nothing at all. It all happens so suddenly that you don't even know how or what just happened. I laughed when my mom told me that something would occur shaking the very foundation of what we thought we had....and she was right. I never expected it or even you to come along.

It's funny how after all this time I still feel the need to tell you that I love you. From the moment that we said that we would be together I loved you and I realize that feelings that deep don't go away. I know that time and space hasn't allowed us to be together right now but I want you to know that you are always in my thoughts, prayers and heart. I can't predict the future and say that we will or won't end up together and to be honest at this very moment my feelings for someone else are growing each day.

You allowed me to experience true love and all that it brings. You allowed me to be me and never question myself. Because of you I am who I am today. I know what I want in someone who I create my future life with and I won't accept any less. Because of you I know what it's like to be treated like a princess and I could never regret that.


When we first parted ways I was hurt and to some extent I do wonder sometimes what and where we would be if we were still together right now. Would we be married, working towards it, having our first or second child. However we're not there and I can no longer dwell on what isn't but what is. And that's the fact that we are friends. I'd rather have you as a friend in my life..always in my corner, there when I need you than to not have you at all. You are amazing and I hope you know that. You are a blessing to everyone that comes in contact with you. Each time that we talk it's like I'm hearing your voice for the first time, that's just how much I love our conversations and even though we don't talk that often whenever I hear from you it's a joy. I still smile when I see a note from you, I still smile when I see that poem I wrote about you, I even smile when I think of how you bought me a stuffed dog because I wanted a dog so much but of course couldn't have one because I lived on campus. Just thinking about how much I've changed since we met causes me to smile.

Because of the time that I spent with you before, during and after we were together I came to a greater understanding of who I am. I love to love, I love hugs, I like when someone shows me affection, I like the simple things in life....I am me and I can't and won't change that for anyone. I can cater to someone and still feel like I'm me, I can love someone and not be taken advantage of, I can be silly and not be afraid that they are laughing at me and not with me. Because of you I love me even more and I can't regret that ever occuring. I am content on spending time with me...I am content to not pick up the phone and hunt someone down. Because when someone loves you...things like calling everyday just happen....things like buying a favorite candy bar (when you know you're going to see them) just seem ordinary. Hugs are natural, reaching for their hand as you walk down the street occurs just as easily as the wind blows. I am content in showing that I care without being afraid that someone will doesn't care for me. I love freely as if love will only occur this time at this moment.

I can remember the first day we met like it was yesterday. I had vowed never to do that whole BP thing ever again but something about your note to me made me want to know more. So we conversed and so it began and now almost 7 years later you are still one of my closest friends and you probably don't even know it. I harbor no ill feelings toward you regarding the way we ended because it was needed in order for each of us to be who we are at this moment. Thank you for that. I couldn't see then what I see now of course and because of how things occurred I've experienced so much. Because of how things ended with you I was able to interact with a man who also taught me about love but also about betrayal..something that I wasn't familiar with and becuase of him I'm alot smarter and now I'm in the midst of something that I cant and won't put into words.

I'm happy and I hope you are as well. I know that I must move on and many times I think I have but there comes that time when I hear a song, see a picture or see a face and I'm reminded of you. Reminded that love does exist and that even though things don't work out when two people seem so perfect for one another....you can still exist.

So you may never read this but I want you to know that I love you, always will and you will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you for all that you have allowed me to be and become...thank you for teaching me how to love me and love someone else freely. Thank you for entering my life and leaving it...yet continually popping up unexpectedly. Thank you for just being you.


I want you to know that I'm beginning to care again....and yes I still wear my heart on my sleeve but I know how to be more comfortable just being alone. I've met someone who reminds me of you in so many ways that it's scary and I'm trying not to compare and in fact I won't even dare because although you two are wonderful, phenomenal men you are very different. His love for music matches yours to a T and because of HIM the shell that I created after my last hurt is slowly being broken. I can't speak for the future and of course I won't try but I do know that where ever this goes, I am content in knowing that things work out in the end. I'm content in knowing that what occurs at this time is more important that worrying about what will occur. I can't focus on being hurt because in turn I will hurt myself and the potential of what could be....so I just have to be. Living and loving as if I'll die tomorrow.

So this is not good bye to you as a friend, but a good bye to the feelings of wishing, wanting and yearing to be with you again. Because everything happens for a reason and I know that life goes on and so will I.


~Honey Libra~
posted by Ms.Honey at 6:13 AM 25 comments

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Gratitude

"Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels. If we take the time, no matter how crazy and troubled we feel, we can find something to be thankful for. The more we seek gratitude, the more reason the angels will give us for gratitude and joy to exist in our lives."

--Terry Lynn Taylor



I'm greatful .......


.....for the Most High waking me up this morning, although my bed felt oh so good :)


....the giddiness I felt when I couldn't wait for you to see the shirts I bought you


....the feeling of content I got when just watching you talk on the phone


.....for how you reached to touch my face as you were talking on the phone (that let me know that you weren't totally too into the conversation)


...for how you put the phone on speaker when that girl called....and how we laughed at what she wanted


......my mommy's words and actions guiding me throughout my day, I bet she doesn't even know just how much I adore her


......my daddy calls just to say hello and that he loves me, I'm realizing more and more each day just how much I pray that my future husband is like him


....for finally doing 4.5 on the treadmill LOL WOOOHOOOO I was getting it :)

.....for just being able to be


......for the fact that I don't even feel the need to explain to anyone how I feel about you right now


......that words couldn't explain how I feel right now...cause I'd be talking all day about you :)


.......that I did a great job of picking out your shirts..I told you I had good taste


...for the expression on your face when you saw that I bought you more than one


...for our little play fight with the loaf of bread..you are hilarious (I love how silly I can be with)

......for how you reach for me while we're sleeping


.......for this slow process and not wanting to rush into anything, the presence of what exists now makes me smile


.........for the time I spent with my little sister and her friends, they had a blast and I'm glad they came to visit


.......for the comments that each of you leave it's funny how I love to read and comment on them :)


....for our goodbye kiss this morning and how you reached down to give me an extra one....those mean so much to me


......for being able to avoid the urge to call a certain someone, why ruin my contentment (I tend to punish myself lol)


......for today being wednesday meaning it's HUMP DAY!!!!!


....for the onset of the weekend which means time at the gym with my baby


......for you guys reading my mushiness LOL.....




posted @ 9:20am
posted by Ms.Honey at 6:08 AM 31 comments

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Ms. Libra If Ya Nasty....

So I was tagged by one of my BH's (Blog Homies..I just made that up you like lol). Check her out when you get a chance.....however it's only viewable by invite sorry I forgot about that LOL



  • Just BE



  • Are you a bad influence?

    [x]1. smoked.
    [x]2. consumed alcohol.
    [x]3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
    [x]4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.
    [x]5. kissed/had sex with someone of the same sex (it was just a kiss lol)
    [x]6. had sex.
    [x]7. had someone in your room other than family.
    [x]8. watched porn.
    []9. bought porn or a sex toy.
    [x]10. done drugs. (Yes, weed is a drug! LOL)
    TOTAL: 9

    [x]1. taken painkillers
    []2. taken someone else's prescription medicine.
    [x]3. lied to your parents.
    [x]4. lied to a friend.
    [x]5. snuck out of the house.
    [x]6. done something illegal.
    [x]7. cut yourself. (Not intentionally! Duh.)
    [x]8. hurt someone.
    [x]9. wished someone to die. (Almost daily! But I don't REALLY mean it!)
    [x]10. seen someone die.
    TOTAL: 10

    [x]1. missed curfew.
    [x]2. stayed out all night.
    [x]3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself. (Not in one sitting.)
    [ ]4. been to a therapist.
    [ ]5. been to rehab.
    [x]6. dyed your hair.
    [x]7. received a ticket.
    [x]8. been in an accident.
    [x]9. been to a club.
    [x]10. been to a bar.
    TOTAL: 8

    [x]1. been to a wild party.
    [ ]2. been to Mardi Gras.
    [x]3. drank more than four drinks in a night.
    [x]4. had a spring break in Florida.
    [x]5. sniffed anything.
    [x]6. role played.
    [x]7. went out without underwear.
    [x]8. wore a rapper's line of clothes/shoes.
    [x]9. listened to rap.
    [ ]10. own a 50 Cent CD. (WHY??!!)
    TOTAL: 8

    [ ]1. dressed gothic.
    [x]2. dressed prep.
    [x]3. dressed hip-hop/urban.
    [x]4. dressed slutty.
    [x]5. stole something.
    [ ]6. been too drunk to remember anything.
    [ ]7. blacked out.
    [ ]8. fainted.
    [x]9.had a crush on a neighbor.
    [x]10. had someone sneak into your room.
    TOTAL: 6

    [x]1. snuck into someone else's room.
    []2. had a crush on your best friend.
    [x]3. been to a concert.
    [x]4. dry-humped someone.
    [ ]5. been called a slut. (Not to my face anyway!)
    [x]6. called someone a slut.
    [ ]7. installed speakers in your car. (I assume this means "did it yourself"??)
    [x]8. broken a mirror.
    [x]9. showered at someone of the opposite sex's house.
    [x]10. brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.
    TOTAL: 7

    [ ]1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper. (Ummm. NO!)
    [x]2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.
    [x]3. cruised the mall.
    [x]4. skipped school.
    []5. had surgery.
    [x]6. had an injury.
    [x]7. gone to court.
    []8. walked out of a restaraunt without paying.
    [x]9. caught something on fire.
    []10. lied about your age.
    TOTAL: 6

    [x]1. owned/rented an apartment.
    []2. broke the law in the police's presence.
    [x]3. cheated with someone.
    [x]4. got in trouble with the police.
    (do tickets count lol.)
    [x]5. talked to a stranger.
    [x ]6. hugged a stranger.
    [x ]7. kissed a stranger
    [x ]8. rode in the car with a stranger.
    [x]9. been harrassed.
    [x]10. been verbally harrassed.
    TOTAL: 9

    [x]1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.
    [x]2. stayed online for 12 hours straight.
    [x]3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
    [ ]4. watched TV for 12 hours straight.
    [x]5. had sex with someone within 12 hours of meeting them.
    [x]6. been called a bad influence.
    [x]7. drink and drive.
    [x]8. prank-called someone.
    [x]9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.
    [x]10. cheated on a test.
    TOTAL: 9

    Now, count up all your scores and that is how much of a bad influence you are!

    I got a 72....ekkkk so according to this I'm only 2 points worse than JB (that's your new nickname LOL) I can only imagine the damage that we would cause if we ever hung out LOL...you better be...ware LOL. We'll have ya doing things you said you'll never do. If you do this let me know so I can stop by and read it :)

    posted@9:23am
    posted by Ms.Honey at 6:15 AM 28 comments

    Monday, January 22, 2007

    Snow Days

    Remember back in the day when you were in elementary, middle or high school or for that matter college LOL...and it snowed and they cancelled class...let's just say that I wish I were back in school cause I woke up and was waiting for a phone call that I never got. On the other hand if I had some kids I could stay home as well but that aint' happening eithr so great...I'm here at work...in some snow boots looking like I'm bout to head to the mall and not work LOL...great. I was not gonna be caught wearing heels and bust my tail cause I almost slipped walking to the bus stop...

    I had a blast this weekend....my lil sister came up here friday night with her friends (she turned 23). So with me and roomie included there were a total of 11 people in my house...and of course we only have 2 bathrooms so you can only imagine what the water was like when we all took showers saturday I had to hop in and hop out cause I was freezing LOL.

    Friday: They were suppose to leave down there at around 530 or 6 these crazies didnt leave till about 8. They stopped in Richmond to pick up my godsister who goes to VCU so they arrived at my house at about 1130. Most of the last 30 min was them driving around cause they were lost LOL (they were 3 cars deep). So anyway they get to the house and I had ordered pizza. Music had come over cause we were going to the gym in the morning so they come in and get to grubbing....I bought some drinks and what not and based on what my sister told me I thought they wanted stuff like wine coolers LOL (my sis doesn't really drink) ummm no they wanted vodka and all that other stuff so mine you it's after midnight and we gotta find a liquor store. Me, roomie and Music hit the streets...all of us calling and dialing folks that we know drink or who live in DC and MD LOL....come to find out that all of them close at 12 or something like that...we spent 2 hours (well almost) driving through MD and DC....so once we figured out that nothing was open we headed back home....and passed out.

    Saturday....Me and Music got up and went to the gym...we did the machines first and then I did 2 miles on the treadmill and using BK's advice (I hadn't read my blog comments yet) I slowly increased my speed until I was doing 4.5 which of course is high for me since I usually stop at 4.0 LOL. So I was lightly jogging listening to my mp3 players...music did a mile and a half then went to lift weights. After we finished doing our own thing I hit the grocery store to get some last minute stuff to fix breakfast. I get home and cook....we all eat (Music included) I made waffles well actually Eggo did LOL...and I cooked some turkey sausage and eggs and grits for those who didn't really want waffles. They were all raving about how good of a hostess I am..I said my momma taught me well. It was really nice having them visit cause they are all kinda like little brothers and sisters to me..we have all grown up together...we went to the same church and for the most part went to the same schools although I am a couple of years ahead of them. So Music rolled out cause he had some stuff to do and we all hit the showers so that me and roomie could hit the streets with them in tow. We ended up at a shoe store,then we took them to Tysons...they loved the mall and we all chipped our opinions in to help my sister find something to wear for later that night. She's a tomboy so she doesn't do heels, but we found some low cute ones but they didn't have her size (10..yea big feet LOL) but we hit up payless and found some cute pink flats and her shirt was from forever 21 which was pink and black and she had on a black blazer and pink accessories...I made out with her bracelets cause her hands were too big for the bracelets to go over LOL.

    So we eat at the food court, hit the liquor store to get the right drinks this time (we have all vowed not to pass messages through my sis again lol) and headed back to the house. Got some drinks in our systems well they did since me and roomie were driving and got dressed to head out. We took them to platinum since everyone isn't 21 yet (for the record there was no underage drinking lol) on top of that Sat's at plaitnum from what I hear are aight so we were good. We got on the guestlist which was free before 11 and we figured we'd be good...yea right. We get to the place and them fools are holding the door and then when it's of course 5 min to 11 they like let them in now....so they were doing it on purpose on top of that it was $20 to get in and that was just for the girls. I was like ohhh heck nah ya'll. I got to H2O for free on Sat why would I pay to get in this sweat hole. I tell ya and yes I was loud LOL...so of course we left..cause I won't paying that much to get in there and I didn't want them to have to do that either. We headed back to the house in the freezing cold and got toasted. Now before we left one of my sisters friends had been drinking so much that we left him at home....he was knocked out. When we left he was on the couch and we put the trash can beside him just in case...why when we got back he was in roomies room on the floor curled up in the fetal position with his pants around his ankles LOL LOL LOL hilarious..yes we took a pic LOL. He had thrown up in the toilet and on his shoes. Man...too funny. So we all change into pajamas and decide to watch Hostel..Music calls and he's coming over so we can hit the gym in the morning....I head out to meet him where I park my car at down the street since the folks had taken up me and roomies parking spots. So he comes in and we are all watching movies, drinking and laughing....and we are passed out. I head up stairs to get in my bed only to wake up feeling quesy...now I don't throw up when I drink haven't done that since I was a sophmore in college but I was feeling funny and I was gonna make myself throw up but it wouldn't come so Music went down and got me some juice and water and I was fine. I found out the next morning that one of the other boys (they some light weights) had made it to the sink and thrown up and then thrown up beside himself on the floor LOL...I think he likes roomie LOL...awww Young Love LOL..

    Sunday....we get up and since we didn't go out the night before we all just jump in some sweats and hit up the local diner for breakfast...yep Music included(you can tell he got some cool points this weekend) So we eat and then head back home and pass out while watching the Hills have Eyes (which is insane by the way LOL) when one of them who was on the phone is like it's snowing (we had just put in the Color Purple) and we were all like what..we jump up and see that it is in fact snowing so I being the big sister that I am LOL..tell them to pack up and get on the road because I didn't want them getting caught in something that might get worse and on top of that it would be traffic and I didn't want them driving in the dark. So they packed and we all went outside spent a lil time playing and chatting in the snow LOL..then they left (included Music). Man it was soo quiet in the house, me and roomie napped after that. I woke up around 4 they had just gotten to Fredricksburgh cause traffic was that bad, then they got to richmond around 6 or so and made it back to the 757 by 830. They called and told me they had a nice time, couldn't wait to get back..and I'm glad they had fun. Me and roomie ate and watched Deperate Housewives (which was INSANE) and Crossing Jordan then went to bed hoping to wake to a blizzard LOL...not happening.

    In other news (lol) Music got a new job and starts today. I'm so proud of him..he's hilarious when he told me I was like yeaaa babe we should celebrate he was like Man F a celebration LOL...he's just happy to have something better than what he had. So I elected to buy him a shirt that he can wear to work since most of his clothes are too big....the fact that he took the time to meet my sister and hang out with us this weekend meant a lot to me. On top of that when he was over he wasn't standoffish..he was laughing and joking. One of my little "sisters" was like he's cute LOL...he hugged me periodically just at random moments and helped me in the kitchen....I even slipped and called him my boyfriend when i was talking about something...so umm yea don't know what to tell ya about that. But roomie made a good point she said that she thinks we've progressed fast than me and R ever did and I've known R for 2 years. This is all very true and it's funny cause when I talk to other guys or they ask me out I feel like I'm cheating on Music LOL..I mean we haven't made it verbal that we are together but you get what I'm saying. We were jokin about the pic that we took and I said I'm gonna put it on myspace and he was like ok and I said it's gonna say me and my baby and he was like ok LOL....so who knows....I'm content so it's allllll good :)

    I found out I might be able to block that crazy man/woman from my cell so I might try to get that done. Cause they were still sending me messages......and I will be trying the elliptical..wait what machine is that again LOL...nevermind I'll just google it haahhahah. Good thing is that yes I was retaining water, will be for about another week if you know what I mean ladies LOL..so hopefully after all that dies down I'll see the real number and your right I'm hiding it and taking it out once a month on the same day so I'll see my progress...thanks for the tips!!!!


    posted@9:40
    posted by Ms.Honey at 6:13 AM 28 comments

    Friday, January 19, 2007

    Go on Girl Get it in

    It's Friday and I'm leaving work early so I could care less what occurs today and I promise if someone says or does something to annoy me I'm gonna just say what I gotta say and think later LOL

    It's official I'm hiding my scale from myself. I jump on it every morning and that's not helping me lose the weight cause I keep being afraid that being down one day and up the next is for real. I mean last night I got on the scale and it I believed what it said I have gained 7 pds since saturday..which is highly impossible unless I was eating everything in sight and stuff that I couldn't even see. Then I got on it last night and this morning and it once again told me that I've gained and lost 4 pds in one day.....in the closet you go...I'll pull it out once a week if that just to check my progress, but I will not succumb to it calling me in the mornings LOL

    My house will be FULL this weekend and I do mean FULL. My younger sister turns 23 on Saturday and instead of going to NC she elected to come visit me. She's bringing her boyfriend (who I absolutely adore..he just so happens to be my very first boyfriend's stepbrother), our two godsisters, her best friend, his lil sister and 3 other people. So after work I'm heading to the grocery store and the ABC store. Who knows what we'll do tonight probably sleep depending on what time they get here and tomorrow I'll head to the gym in the morning then cook them breakfast and probably drag them into DC or to the local mall.

    I went to the gym yesterday and I can feel somewhat of a difference (another reason why my scale is about to be FIRED)...I don't get as winded when I'm on the treadmill. But to be honest I'm scared to up my speed LOL...I mean I can do 3.5 and still walk with an incline of 4.5. However I wanna jog I'm just scared I'm gonna fly off the treadmill or that I'm gonna look insanely stupid with my butt jiggling up and down LOL. I know vain but I'm self conscience about it and of course it's something I'm working on and yes I know that if I wanna see change I have to be about it so save it :) On top of that during one of my favorite shows last night (Greys Anatomy) I proceeded to jog in place during the commercial breaks....let's just say that my calfs were on fire (not just from that, but from the other stuff I had done at the gym) My scale is the DEVIL!! Ok I just had to get that out..I mean I hate that thing...granted it got me to take a serious look at what I was eating and helped me lose weight but now it's just freaking annoying me...I mean 4 pds in one day....and if it's wrong how am I suppose to know when it's telling me my right weight? I can't wait to go to the doctors office and check cause I only go there every 6 months and last time I went the scale was still wrong at my house compared to what she said I weighed. Ok at different times of the day it's different but how are you suppose to get on the right track when the freaking scale keeps yo-yoing and making me feel like a fat slob one day and a thicky thick girl the next....errrrrrrrr. Ok I think I'm done now....probably not but for right now I'm done

    Perhaps I'll see Music this weekend...not too sure since the fam will be in town. If they get here earlier enough we're all going out to dinner and I invited him to come...he said he would. Knowing him he'll probably be working on music and I do like to give him his space :) Last night after I got home from the gym and ate my lil weight watchers meal I was gonna call him but I elected not to because I had called him the day before....no we're not playing that he didn't call me thing so I'm not calling him...I just don't like to call all the time....and then BAMN he called :) Talking about it sounds like I had a slacker workout at the gym...I told him I usually get home at 630 and I head to the gym right after that he was like no you got to the gym at 745 and left at 8 LOL....funny, funny little man. I'll probably go pick up a picture frame for the photo that we took at Dave and Busters a couple of weeks ago. I don't want it to get messed up or wrinkled like he did when he was trying to steal it from me and put it under his shirt LOL.

    I crack up when I talk to him on the phone though cause he doesn't say bye he'll just be like I'll call you later and I'll be like bye and he'll be like aight...or he'll be like aight and i'll be like aight and then he's gone. When we first met I told him about it and he was like my friends say I do that...I didn't really notice it till they pointed it out to me..I was like that's weird LOL. But I'm use to it now...funny cause sometimes stuff like that would annoy me but with him it doesn't. Neither does his saying about finding a cliff and think about executing (a jump) lol. When I say something insane he'll be like go find a cliff and think about executing LOL...so now I say it to him. He trys to play hard but I told him that I'm growing on him LOL. I can tell ohhh ooohhhh LOL, the other day we were watching tv and I was singing and he was like dang girl you sound horrible. I was like you're not suppose to say that your suppose to say baby that was great LOL...he was like mannnn that was horrible lol then gave me a hug....I love his hugs....anywho I digress.

    TSG sent me this website about anonymous emails that you can send to folks who have bad breath, stinky feet, bad fashion sense, etc. Man I was cracking up when I read some of the stuff that the email sends to them. I even sent one to myself to see if it came up anonymously and it did.

    http://www.mensandwomensforum.com/gentletip.html



    I'm wishing this day would hurry on by...cause I'm ready to GOOOOOOOOOOOO

    EDIT: Ok so I forgot to talk about this earlier and why commenting on one of my homies blogs (LadyNay..to the left to the left LOL..yes I stole that from her) I remembered it. So yesterday at work I get a phone call from a 757 number (where I'm orginially from) I don't know who it is so or rather it doesn't look familiar so I dont' answer. I call the number back from my job and someone picks up I say hello and then they hang up. I'm like what the devil (clue number 1) so then I get a text from this same person and was like Honey?!! (clue number 2) right then and there I should have known who it was but my insane tail couldn't think straight. If anyone has talked to me recently you know that my phone has been on the fritz and instead of using my V phone (you know the one with the lil keyboard) I've been using my LG flip phone that I had last year. So this one is acting up too and not holding a charge and until I feel like buying a battery I keep it mostly off during the day. My LG doesn't really have any numbers in it, other than close fam and friends and of course folks I use to talk to last year or whatever...so if I had had my V then I would have known this this was Don't Answer...that's this persons name in my phone. I named this person don't asnwer because of a few things....One I have never seen them in person...Two I have never seen a pic of them...Three I think it's a girl. PAUSE...yep I think it's a girl LOL. Now you're probably like what...no I dont' get down like that and except for my brief stink when I was like 2 from kissing my sister (I mean hey we were kids lol) I have never been into girls LOL and don't plan on being into girls. So anywho during college this persons cousin started talking to roomies sister...therefore he started talking to me..meaning via IM..I was fine with that I could care less. Then I got a boo and we didn't talk anymore...fast forward over the years they've popped up and what not...supposedly had a kid and all that jazz. However during the time that we conversed I noticed a couple of things...one everytime he was to send me a pic something happened, two he never called although he had my number and three everytime he was in va and i was too he could never be found. I got annoyed and told him not to call me anymore cause he was playing games...I asked him if he was ugly and all that he got mad and I was like fine leave me alone. He asked for my number sometime last summer and finally called....homie didn't say two words and I mean that literally. The convo was like:

    hey....hey....what's up...nothing...silence....are you gonna talk....yea

    I was like what...during this time I noticed that their voice sounded like a girl trying to sound like a dude LOL...I even recorded a convo (yes I have that feature on my phone) and played it for roomie....we cracked up. So needlesstosay the person has been trying to get in and chill with me...I told them (cause I don't know if it's a girl or guy) to stop calling and all that....i've been ignoring their calls since november...until yesterday since i didn't have my other phone LOL. I told them to once again leave me alone...they keep saying what I do, how can I make it right, i'll pay your phone bill...ewwww leave ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!! I'm contemplating changing my number because if I don't they will keep calling....when my phone was off for like two weeks I know they had to call like everyday to see if it was back on..they didn't even think that perhaps i changed it....cause as soon as it was back on i got a call from them....so ummm yea. If you have my number and I don't pick up or I'm like who are you..dont' be offended :) I just don't have my normal phone...hopefully it'll be working in about a week LOL



    posted@9:32am
    posted by Ms.Honey at 6:07 AM 20 comments

    Thursday, January 18, 2007

    Who Knows..

    ..where this post is gonna go this morning. First it's cold as a polar bears piss outside and I can't say I'm too happy. Although I sleep better in the winter, I love spring and summer cause I don't have to wear stockings and I can wear cute sandals LOL...yea I know I have a problem with shoes already why wish for a season when I buy lots of shoes....but I digress

    Why must people annoy me....yesterday at work we had a lunch meeting for the secretary's. So since that is what I am I had to be there LOL...so anywho we're eating lunch and talking about stuff that needs to get done, stuff that's gonna begin to happen and how we're getting new attorneys and all that jazz while home skillet is staring at me. I mean I'm eating this cookie and instead of putting the whole thing in my mouth I'm breaking it off on the plate and she is watching me...so I look up and stare right back..she looks away. Out of the corner of my eye I catch her doing it again..I mean dang why must you stare at me...do you wanna see how I'm eating...want to see how the crumbs caress my lips..freaking idiot! On top of that this lady already thinks she knows it all cause she works for the managing attorney of the office. But I mean just cause you work for him don't mean that you're perfect cause from what I hear folks be having to ask another secretary to do stuff that she does wrong....and no one wants to call her on it. This chic is the type of person you don't want working with you or even near you. If you are talking to someone and she is near she will BUTT into your conversation or interrupt it by calling your name and asking you anything. For example I was talking to the ladies (that I like LOL) at lunch and we were talking about ER (my FAVORITE show) and she was like DANIELLE DID YOU SEE MEDIUM LAST NIGHT (another favorite show of mine). I replied yes but I'm talking about ER right now. Now some might argue that I was mean and I would agree but my mother taught me not to interrupt and if you do then be prepared to get fussed at or have her spit in your face LOL (I've since told my mom that she said this and she was like no I didn't...umm yea you did lol)...so since I couldn't spit in her face I decided to cut her off at the pass. I wasn't talking to you, don't wanna talk to you therefore stop INTERRUPTING me. She is also the type of person that craves attention..when the attorney's ask her to do something she will go on and on about getting it done, when do they need it and how she has so much other stuff to do but she'll get it done...boo they don't care just DO IT! She walks through the office dragging her feet...creating enough friction on the floor and I'm sure between her cottage cheese legs that she could start a fire and breathing so hard I'm sure she's passing germs around that could kill a small nation. She is allergic to everything from air to wheat yet she eats double meat and double cheese on her sandwichs (I heard this because she was screaming on the phone and I heard her convo...I sit like 3 cubicles from her)...she just walked in and gave out this loud sigh..talking about I hate metro...of course wanting someone to ask her why is she late or something that effect....GREAT

    I was at the gym yesterday..I've been going since Saturday (with one day off which was monday) and I feel good!!! I mean I'm not too winded anymore when I'm on the treadmill....I've realized that my legs tend to have a lot more strength in them than my arms do...cause I can do more reps on the various leg machines than I can do the arms. But when I tell ya my butt was hurting after doing this thigh machine yesterday I mean the butt was hurting LOL...I did 2 miles on the treadmill....3 sets of 15 reps on various arm and leg machines (I think 2 arm machines and 2 leg machines). Music went with me on the weekend I think we're going together this weekend and he wants to show me how to lift weights...therefore allowing my body to burn calories when I'm not working out. I would say he's motivating me but I think our bet is motivating me LOL. If I lose something noticeable by the end of march (now for me that would be 5 lol but he said he can't see that..so we're thinking between 10-15) I get dinner (he's cooking) and a massage (with music, candles, the whole nine) so ummm yea a sister is SERIOUS! I've been eating oatmeal and special K for breakfast since last monday and chomping on baked chicken and anything else that isn't fried since then as well. Drinking madd water and eating yogurt is another thing I've been doing. I have yet to eat fast food and I'm gonna see how long I can stick with that LOL...which also means that I'll have to cook more..WOOOHOOO

    EWWWWWWWWW home girl just started blowing her nose...I hate when folks do that and it sounds like nothing is coming out but your brain. Learn how to blow that crap out and stop making the rest of us url.

    I think I'm gonna throw my scale away LOL. That freaking thing annoys the piss out of me...up 2 pds one day down 5 the next..well not literally like that but you people get me. I'm not weighing myself everyday like I was last year when I was losing weight however I've been doing it for the last 2 days and I'm ready to hurl that thing into oncoming traffic. So back to hiding it..cause it irritates me that I feel like I'm doing well and the scale is saying no no my friend your still a fatty LOL...on top of that according to health standards in order for me to have a healthy BMI (body mass index) I need to weight 128..AHHHHH HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.........yea right. If I weighed that much do you know what I would look like. No butt, no arms, no nothing...i mean a sista like her booty so I ain't even trying to see 128 I'm just trying to see 150 LOL. I'm born and breed to have hips and bricks so all I'm trying to do is tone and tighten not go for the anerexic look that so many women these days are going for.

    EWWWWWW once again she is sneezing all over the place and she keeps saying ahhhhh that hurt....I so wanna say something!!!!!!!!!

    I can't wait for tomorrow to come...I'm getting off work early. My lil sis is coming, I have yet to decide what I'm doing other than cooking breakfast on saturday morning and take them to pentagon city or arundal mills LOL....we'll probably decide what they want to do saturday night when they get here tomorrow. So great

    Trying to decide what to get Music for his bday in March....he'll be 24...yes I'm older than him LOL, not by that much though (I'll be 25 this year). Since we haven't got a clear "title" yet it can't be something over the top and even if we do have a title I still don't want it to be over the top LOL...so we'll see. He talking about just buy me something in regards to music or his computer that's not too expensive versus buying him a burger (his words not mine LOL)..but I wanna do dinner and a hotel or go away somewhere....yea I'm that type of person and of course he's more chill....so we'll see I might just surprise myself and him....but I still have time so we'll see.

    Why do folks get on the metro and try to talk on their cell phones...boo you know your signal is gonna fade so please don't scream what, what I can't hear you let me call you back...you should have said that when you first got on the phone.

    Why was I listening to my mp3 player on the train and some man was trying to talk to me. The doors on the train we were on weren't closing and he was like they are closed and looked over at me (i saw him out the corner of my eye) i just turned my music up and kept on jammin. I mean you can see the wires coming of whatever I'm holding in my hand what did you think i was doing performing some type of retroactive shock surgery to my brain....

    Why did the ladies at work say that the reason it's easy for me to ignore lil ms annoying is becuase I'm young and brazen LOL...she can come up to my desk and I not even pay attention to what she says....I guess I'm so use to ignoring folks that irk me...

    Why do I so wanna take care of my nephew but I don't have the time or money to do it....he's by no means a burden on my parents but they have so much stuff to do that it pains me that my lil sister can be so hard hearted to them. She leaves him on the weekends to go hang out then comes home and fusses at him when he doesn't do what she wants him to do....poor baby and then he told my mom that he misses his mommie...so innocent...she treats him bad half the time, good the other half and he still loves her.

    My roomies sister (the one who moved out to live with a man that no one likes) asked her could she buy the dog crate from us. Roomie told her that it wasn't hers to offer and that she should email me and ask. She hasn't probably cause she knows I'll say no (for various reasons one being I'm getting another dog and two I don't want her to have it LOL). It's funny how she'll ask her sister stuff that also pertains to me but is scared to ask me anything....I'm past the caring phase do what you want. It's a new year and all I'm worried about is me. I don't have time to be worried about how your man uses your car, how he always has to seem to work when it comes time for you to attend family functions...anywho I digress

    The negative force within me is waiting for the ball to drop or the other shoe to fall however you wanna put it. Cause this thing with Music is going good and I'm not saying I want it to go sour and I know that if I think it's gonna go sour then I'm subconciously gonna let it go sour so great. But I can't help that think it's all too good to be true. I mean if we haven't spent every weekend (or one day during the weekend) together since late october/beginning of november then we've spent a couple of days during the week together....we talk on the phone everyday (partially cause I like talking to him so i call to see how his day was) and partially cause if I don't call he will just to say hey or say something about what he's been doing....and even if it's not for a long period of time and he says I'll call you back later (which he does) it's still a convo. I mean yes we've done the deed (smile) but I can count on more than one hand how many times we've just laid there cuddling or talking till we fall asleep....or how many times he's come behind me which I'm in the kitchen cooking or have finished cooking and he's hugged me. I'm not trying to say I want it to go by anymeans however I understand that I can't count my chickens before they hatch..which is why I've realized that what will be will be...we spend time together yes, we're not together, although we spend lots of time together....we've both agreed that there should be no "rules" to this whole thing....especially since right now it feels like we're together why put a timelimit, frame or definition on it. My girls notice that he's all I talk about and from what I hear his boys know that he has someone new in his life..and we'll leave it at that. I went out on a limb yesterday and mentioned him to my dad...just said I have a new friend that I've been spending time with and left it at that.

    I'm trying to not compare his nonchalantness to not so Constant LOL...cause that will cause me to be like well how come you don't tell me why you like me or that you miss me...I'm always telling you and to be honest some men are like that, my dad included. My dad just recently and by recent I mean me moving away permantely started calling me to check up on me and see how I was doing....he isn't afraid to say I love you however it's not something he says too often LOL...but that's what I love about my dad....he's a quiet storm. Music is quiet, sometimes when I look at him I wonder what's going on in his head and he'll be like what and of course I'll saying nothing and other times I'll just kiss him or he'll rub my face and I know that what is being created is different and I'm content in knowing that.

    So I'm just taking it easy....all in stride grasshopper LOL....cause as we all know IT IS WHAT IT IS

    POSTED @ 9:49AM
    posted by Ms.Honey at 6:09 AM 23 comments

    Wednesday, January 17, 2007

    When You see me smile

    I'm thinking of....

    how you make me smile

    how I was able to wake up and venture out into the cold this morning despite me wanting to stay buried under the covers

    how I get to see my little sister this weekend, she'll be 23 and the fact that she still wants to be like me makes me smile and love her more

    how you entered my life at a time when I didn't think I would find a consistant man...you've proven me wrong

    how you still continue to prove me wrong :)

    how we can laugh and talk about anything

    how much I admire you and what you do....you may never know just how special you are to me

    how although it took a while you finally showed your true feelings towards me and it might have hurt how it came out but hey you're gone now so what do i care

    how hurt I was that I hadn't talked to you or seen you while you were here at home, then I remembered HIM and forgot all about YOU

    how HE is a different breed of man

    how I'm changing because of him and that's not a bad thing at all

    how I changed his ringtone in my phone last night to Baby, Baby by TLC (because he is my baby)

    how words between us don't have to be spoken looks say it all.

    how caresses speak louder than words

    how your eyes allow me to see into your soul

    how my excitement when I know I'm going to see you is bliss

    how I'm content in knowing that you think of me when we're apart

    how just when I think I know you, you surprise me

    how I'm finally happy

    how slow and easy is sometimes best

    how God always knows what I need when I need it, how I need it and why I need it...even if I'm busy still trying to figure out why


    I'm smiling because I know that things could be worse but they aren't and because this year is off to a great start.



    posted@9:13am
    posted by Ms.Honey at 6:04 AM 33 comments

    Tuesday, January 16, 2007

    Tell em why you mad SON!!!!!

    There has been only one other time that I've used this title cause very rarely do I get really irked, mad, peeved off at someone or just plain disgusted.

    I'm mad cause you think you got it like that. Boo I wanted no parts of you anyway so please do me a favor and move on...don't make it seem like I've been leading you on. You can clearly tell that I haven't been focused on you. Can't you tell by the excuses I've been giving you...I mean come on.

    Get a car man, your a grown ass man, why do you not have a ride as of yet. I mean a hoopty, a bus pass, something. There should be no reason why a 30 something year old man doesn't have something to push around.

    Those corny lines that you kicken are just that corny. My nephew could pick up more chics drooling on himself than you could by saying that trash that comes out of your mouth.

    Then when you notice that I'm gettin annoyed at what you're saying you talking about you got some bad news and you're taking it out on me...boo please you've said what you said...you think I'm playing games....you said it yourself...have a good life till then.

    Which means don't expect nothing from me..not a hello not a die you demon, die..not a smoke signal or even a text message on your bday...i could care less if you talk to me again.

    When I cut folks off I cut them OFF....so now you're one of them

    If you only knew what I really thought of you and your skinny lips. I hated when you tried to kiss me, ewwww I mean how horrible can you be...I'm sure you've kissed more than one woman before what is up?!

    Dont' try to sugar coat nothing now...talking about I've always treated you good...well apparently that didn't matter.

    I mean can't you tell from the signs that I'm just not that into you...and it's not even about games...I haven't been lying to you or anything...you should know that I'm not trying to chill with you so stop asking. On top of that when I ask what are we gonna do if we chill you talking about stare at one another...that's not cool....if we had it like that then maybe but we don't so ewwwwwww

    If you so pressed to see me why I gotta come see you....you can hop on the train and meet me for lunch or meet me after work why I gotta come to your house....please and then you talking about if you come over you gotta spend the night...oh no you dont.

    Please, only one man has laid residence to my bed for the last 3 months and you are not him so ewwww to that as well

    I'm mad that you are so ridiculous.

    I'm mad that I won't just come out and say that I am so into someone else that there is no chance in this blue heaven that you will even get close to my lips again

    I'm mad because I've been waiting and waiting for a reason to not talk to you and now I have it.....

    I'm mad that you just can't accept me as a friend you have to date me...what if I don't wanna date you

    I'm sooo heated at the fact that you say we can be friends but no dating...umm as if I asked for all that....boo you don't rule me, thank you for giving me permission to be your friend

    A true friend wouldn't have said what you said....that leads me to believe that you aren't my friend just an associate who is buying his time thinking that I'm going to eventually like him

    I'm sooo mad that you are acting like you've been giving me the run around in actuality I've been here just not trying to be with you..that's all

    I mad that you think you could even be my boyfriend...i don't need a boyfriend I need a man that knows the difference....talking about imagine the possibilities...boo I've seen the possibilities where I'm at now and I'm fine I don't need to imagine what it would be like with you...too much BS...

    I'm mad that you won't leave me the PISS alone...I don't want you anymore and I don't want to have a threesome with you and your girl..please focus on your baby and get yourself together.

    Talking about you want me to come visit when I'm not on my you know what...how ignorant is that....

    I'm mad that you are so immature you make me want to scream on you everytime you send me an email...i get so mad that I dont' even respond to your emails anymore i just delete them

    I need a drink or some hot chocolate....errr I'm mad that I'm being sooo good. Darn I guess I'll eat some yogurt

    posted@3:57pm
    posted by Ms.Honey at 12:43 PM 12 comments

    Monday, January 15, 2007

    A Day Off

    Martin Luther King was a great man and because of him today I had a day off. Of course I could go on and on about what he's done, what he accomplished, the fact that he wasn't perfect but I'm sure that there are others out there who've dedicated what they've written today to him and his DREAM.

    I personally slept all day...and I mean all day. I got up at 9, fixed some breakfast, ate, went back to sleep..woke up talked on the phone for a bit, went back to sleep...watched a lil tv, went back to sleep and it's now 7:14pm and I think I'm finally awake for the most part LOL

    This weekend was nice...Friday night I chilled for the most part...it was quiet since roomie was gone for the weekend. So I watched some tv, ate some food and proceeded to hit the bed. Music came over kinda late cause he had some things to do and we watched a lil tv and then we were knocked out. Saturday morning we got up and went to the gym. I am seriously a weakling..he was laughing at me. I did the weight lifting machines then did a mile and a half on the treadmill. I was TIRED and he was laughing at me telling to man up and do 4.0 yea right I won't trying to die the first day in the gym. He was going though..I think he was doing 6.0 or something like that. I tell ya..I put my lil music on and I was in the zone. After we finished the treadmill we walked around the little track they have at the gym to cool down..then we went home...by that time it was almost 11 I think. We went to the grocery store and he fixed us some turkey burgers, rice and broccoli..yea I know not breakfast food but who says you have to eat breakfast food for breakfast and techinically what is breakfast food LOL. Anywho the fact that he cooked for me made me smile. I did the rice but he did everything else. He said I always cook for him so he figured he'd cook for me this time around and I must admit it was kinda cute with both of us in the kitchen....we laid around then he went home cause he had some errands to run.

    I went to best buy, bought a holder for my mp3 player and I also bought the Bodyguard on DVD. I love this movie almost as much as I love the Color Purple...Whitney was serious in this movie and I wish her all the best on her way back to where she use to be (mentally and physically that is). Anywho after that I came home cooked some dinner and posted up at the house. Watched a lil TV and went to sleep...when I woke up I was HURT....well not hurt my arms were a lil sore and what not...Music came over again....once again later that night cause he had running around to do adn we went on to sleep..after he rubbed my arms LOL...while telling me to man up LOL

    Woke up Sunday and we went to the gym again....did the machines..he lifted a lil then we got on the treadmill. This time I did 2 miles...woooohooo and I did 3.5 the whole time...yea I know you like that's slow but for me that's fast LOL. I was sweating up a storm...so next time I'm gonna see if I can get to 4.0 and do it the whole time. Gotta up the anty if I wanna see some change. All in all I think it was kinda funny going to the gym with him...we'll probably go together on the weekends and I'll go alone or with roomie during the week. I even let him see how much I weigh..and I don't do that with anyone LOL..he was like what's the big deal we're gonna be working out together anyway...umm so..but he saw it and was like wow you look good to weigh that LOL...umm OK....good thing it's no longer in the 200 range cause I would be upset with myself...I'm just glad I've kept it off this long and hopefully by May I'll be back down to where I was during freshmen year of college.

    Last night we went to the lil spot (me and roomie) in DC called the lima lounge. I mean that junk was packed. At first I was like oh this is cool but as the night progressed I realized that it wasn't a packed fun it was a dangerious packed...meaning if something caught on fire we would all be in trouble. I mean fire marshall calling trouble. People were on the stairs in the walkways, it got sooo annoying. You couldn't even really dance...but hey most folks didn't have to work today so they were partying it up. We saw roomies ex and he was talking to her and what not.....on top of that this guy that she knows from va beach was there cause he lives up here and he was kinda weird the whole night. Weird meaning...we saw him that night and he was scopping us out the rest of the night..we lost him once but he found us and was posted up behind us till we left..roomie was like I wonder if he knows we left him HAHAHA. Homie didn't even wanna dance with her that's how weird it was and I was like he's a tad bit weird. I mean if you're gonna stand near me dance or go LOL....he kept saying stuff to her like if I've done anything wrong then let me know or I'm gonna call you tomorrow so you can tell me how I was acting. UMMM YEA

    Came home and was knocked out. Woke up to a light shining in my face. It was roomies ex's friend holding his phone in my face. He (roomie's ex) had come over after the club and his friend had come with him. Now mind you when roomie first met her ex I had tried to sorta holla at his friend..he's quiet a lil short dude but he's cute. I gave him my number and he didn't use it, talking about he lost his phone, so whenever he sees me he speaks and we might dance a lil or whatever but I mean you ain't trying to holla and I have since moved on (as you can tell lol). So when he asked could he come over with roomies ex I was like I don't care cause in reality I didn't. I mean someone can sleep in my bed and I'm not a fast tail woman that I don't have to sleep with you or feel like I want to .....regardless of whatyou look like. So he was in my room, we're talking I moved over so he could lay down on the bed and I noticed that my pic I had on my TV stand with me and Music was there and I was like hmm I wonder what he's thinking by seeing that pic. He didn't admit seeing the pic, didn't even bring it up...but I've realized just how much I've changed and how much I'm into Music. Any other time I would have taken it down right when I knew that he was coming over..not even taken it down but just laid it down....but that's my baby and I ain't got nothing to hide. No he's not my BOO yet LOL, but ummm I think we're moving along nicely.

    Hopefully this week will go by fast, I'm getting off early on Friday cause my lil sister is turning 23 on saturday and she's coming up here with her boyfriend and some of her other friends and I need to get groceries and clean and stuff. We'll probably just do pizza and movies friday night since they are getting here late and sat head to the mall and then out that night..we'll see what they wanna do...so I'll have a house full this weekend. I'm thinking of introducing Music to her, see what she thinks and all that stuff. We'll see cause knowing him he might not come over LOL...I was like how about we go to putt putt and he was like nah I'm not holding the stick that's gay LOL..I tell ya that man..all I can do is laugh at him. Talking about when we went to Dave & Busters he only played the boxing game and the shooting game....I'm thinking maybe I could take them there saturday night..games, drinks, food all that stuff in one place...but we'll see

    So this weekend was nice, and long. I needed all the sleep I got today. I'll be in the bed for maybe the rest of the night LOL I just saw a national body challenge commerical..WOOOOHOOO I'm doing that :)

    posted@7:39pm
    posted by Ms.Honey at 4:40 PM 21 comments

    Friday, January 12, 2007

    HIM

    Waking up to your face this morning made me realize that I love watching you sleep. I haven't wanted to do that with anyone in a while.

    The lil snore you give off as your eyes flutter behind your eyelids, how you sometimes mumble or moan...I wonder if I'm in your dreams...what am I doing

    I remember us laughing at someone on TV when he was watching her sleep..we both said that's crazy..guess that makes me crazy

    I laughed when I said...have I told you that I missed you....then I answered my own question at the same time as you did....yes (once before)

    What is up with that bathroom smell LOL....we think it's the water but who knows....talking about only the devil smells that bad hahaha....you're so like a hubby...trying to figure out what it is

    Watching ER with you last night was so simple but I smiled inward when I realized how I just love being around you....you laughed when I got excited cause I knew Forrest Whitaker was gonna be in her house....how I knew that man was Abby's dad and how I fussed when that nurse lady left her son in the living room (to go in the room with a guy) and started a fire.

    I laugh when you say I talk loud..that my TV is on deaf and that it's always hot in my room or either too cold....you always got something to say LOL

    You have a swagger about you that is soooo sexxy....but of course I'd never tell you that

    I love watching you....talk, laugh, tell a joke...is that crazy

    I love how you rub my face as we cuddle......

    I love how you play fight with me......always pulling me close to you

    I don't think you know how much I'm into you......

    Then again perhaps you do......but I don't want to rush things so I'll just let it ride

    Where ever this is going is fine with me.....you make me believe in happiness again

    Can't wait to go to the gym with you...funny cause I feel like it's a date LOL....when it's not

    Your infectious......

    You make me feel all mushy on the inside......

    I wonder if I make you feel the same

    You're so hard to read sometimes, silence is sometimes your best friend

    I smile when I heard you in the bathroom brushing your teeth....I love going in the bathroom when your not there and seeing your brush beside mine

    Why does it feel as if you fit so perfectly....there....and everywhere else LOL

    I look forward to waking up next to you.....

    Kissing you goodbye in the morning seems so simple but it gets me through my day

    I don't wanna focus on what could be....just what's here and wha'ts occuring now

    I've subconciously cut others off....I didn't realize that till last night.

    No one else matters....you make me happy

    I'm fine with not seeing you for a day or two but when I see you I realize how much I've missed you

    How you hug me, kiss me, hold me, wrap your arms around me as I wash dishes or cook

    How we cuddle on the couch or on my bed...how I sit in your lap on the chair

    How you like grabbing and hitting my butt LOL

    I can't wait to spend another weekend with you again...having you all to myself for 2 days was wonderful....I even turned my phone off....and I could have cared less

    I want you to be my Valentine....isn't that so third grade :)

    I wanna write you a love note....will you be mine circle yes or no

    Of course you'll think it's corny and laugh and I'll play mad and then I'll be like no really pick one and you'll pick no just to see what i say LOL...

    Truth is life since these last two months has been a little better because of you and I know you don't know that but it's true

    I don't want to be negative and say that it will end as the others have because something tells me this is different...then again I guess..........



    ....I'm thinking about HIM too much


    posted@9:44am
    posted by Ms.Honey at 6:25 AM 29 comments

    Thursday, January 11, 2007

    Thursday Thinkings.....

    Why did I just find out my application to Howard's Grad School is due Feb 15th...EKKKK

    Why am I worried about it when all I have to do is get recommendation letters...

    I shouldn't be too worried, God already knows the outcome and what's for me is for me :)

    I haven't seen Music since Sun night/ mon morning....but I have talked to him :)

    Funny how he's become a part of my time and thoughts...that lil sneaky man LOL

    I start the gym on Saturday morning, the roomie joined too so now I'll have a workout buddy WOOOHOOOO

    I can't wait to go to the Dominican Republic...

    I found a bathing suit....it's by Micheal Kors and it's green, but it's maddd revealing well not really LOL...it's a one piece but the sides and my back are out...

    Which means down with the doughnuts till then LOL

    I think I'm doing rather well......my goal to loose 5 by the end of Feb is a reasonable one.

    If I can loose 10 by the end of March I'll be GREAT!

    Music talking about it has to be something noticeable to him....I said boo you might not notice that I lost 10 so that wouldn't be fair and of course I can't loose 20 by March...I'd starve myself and that ain't happening LOL (i like food haha)

    He's working on his 6 pack or should I say 4 pack LOL....I told him I like his tummy haha but hey do what makes ya happy.

    I just know I better get my dinner and massage LOL..I told him I want warm oil, candles, some music and some strawberries.....of course he laughed haha

    Why is Red so concerned about what I do with my time..I mean he is sending me emails asking me does my man take care of me and am I happy..I don't respond then he sends emails asking if I got his emails LOL...WOW

    I hate when people who I haven't really talked to in a while ask me for pics...WHY or ask if I have a webcam....boo no and if I did who says I'd send you pics or even get on the webcam...nasty folks

    I mean dang, can I live can I breathe

    Who in the world asks for a biographical sketch LOL....I didn't even know how to write one, but I found a sample and went with that LOL

    Me and roomie are going to a play at the end of this month....Tyler Perry's What's done in the Dark..should be fun I haven't been to a play in a while.

    I miss my Giz and I want another doggie....probaby a yorkie or a bichon frise....the male best friend is looking for one for me.

    He's sweet and sometimes I worry that he more than likes me LOL then again I know he more than likes me cause I more than like him, he's my best friend but I couldn't see us being together.

    I've known him since I was a sophmore and I like having a guy best friend....he's like a big brother..I'm sure he would laugh at me calling him that LOL....

    He knows that I love him like cooked food just not enough to over eat LOL.....

    I wonder what excitment I will get into this weekend....other than probably passing out at the gym LOL....oh yea I'm going to an oratorical contest so that should be fun.

    It's almost FRIDAY!!!! You know I'm happy

    My hair is getting longer and I'm sooo excited...hopefully by the end of the year it will be long enough to put into a ponytail.

    I probably won't dye it again I'll just let it grown out and have my tips blond

    I have been running to the bathroom all this week acting like it's my best friend LOL..I tell ya I've been there almost as much as I've been at my desk.

    posted @ 10:45am
    posted by Ms.Honey at 7:27 AM 20 comments

    Wednesday, January 10, 2007

    Why do I smile

    ...because I have so many things to be greatful for

    I'm greatful for.....

    your phone call this morning, it made me smile that you thought to call me this morning to apologize for not calling me back last night (you don't know how many cool points that got you) lol

    your email when I got to work to tell me that you just wanted to say hi

    my aunt being ok, despite the fact that she tends to bring grief to those around her I am glad that God was looking out for her.

    my lil sister coming next weekend with a rack of her friends, I love that she wants to spend her 23rd bday with me

    becoming a little older and wiser, it's so good to know that I'm not the same naive woman I was when I was in college

    moments like this...when I can feel like a little kid again

    having Monday off, ya'll think I be playing when I count down to my days off..I love my job and all but a sista be trying to sleep lol

    for realizing that even though marrying a millionaire would be ideal for sleeping in, I really wouldn't be happy :)

    for your slip up in mentioning that your mom wants to meet me, that means you've talked about me to her :) I'm flattered haha

    for being able to listen to music (not him lol) while at work cause the silence can be deafening sometimes lol (I'm feeling Midnight by Omarion and this new girl name Kiley Dean..check her out)

    for not having a weird dream last night (all I remember is that I was talking to someone)...I turned the TV off maybe that had something to do with it

    for hump day (wednesday)....no you nasty minds LOL....cause after this the rest of the week is easy

    for deleting my BP page....yea I was just getting nonsense folks sending me ridiculous messages that annoyed that piss out of me...but it was delivering me from boredom...now I read washingtonpost.com LOL

    for how I've noticed "us" changing....I like the fact that it's a slow process but a rewarding one

    for the opportunity to tell you how I feel and not being afraid of what you might say

    for my nephew who "calls" me just to say hi auntie d'yelle (lol, he can't pronounce it all the way and he always hangs up after he says bye and be good haha)

    for the moments that I talk to you on the phone and you educate me on the surrounding world, because of you I now know that my stereotypes of the followers of Islam weren't all true (lol except bean pies haha)

    for you knowing when to stop talking about all that and ask me how my day was

    for the drive to do better this year in all that I do....it's all about going hard or going home (and I prefer to go hard)



    Each time I think of all the things that I have to be greatful for I realize just how much they outweight the bad things that occur in life and I smile.......



    posted@9:17am
    posted by Ms.Honey at 6:03 AM 24 comments

    Tuesday, January 09, 2007

    Whats in a Dream?

    For the last couple of nights or weeks I should say I've been having weird dreams. I'm thinking that I should stop leaving the TV on before I dose off and see if that might help.

    Usually when I dream I remember it in general never in specific details, just a general idea of what occurred and sometimes I don't even remember it at all. As we all know there are different stages of sleep and normally the dream that you remember is more than likely the one that you were having right before you woke up so of course one dream isn't going to last 8 hours LOL..like it's a movie or something. Anyway my dreams haven't been really weird but they've been really specific....specific to the point that I can remember sometimes what someone was wearing in my dream and what they said.

    The other night I had a dream that my lil sister (my nephew's mother) was pregnant with a little girl. People had given her baby clothes and what not and she was going through them to put them away. Now she was sitting on the couch talking to my mom and me while doing this but the funny thing is that she was folding some of them away but putting some on teddy bears. Yea, teddy bears that's what I said. What the heck does that have to do with anything. Could she be pregnant or then again faking pregnancy again...hence her putting baby clothes on the bears.

    Last night was even weirder. I was walking down the street, it appeared that I had come from shopping. It was a street that was in a townhouse/apartment complex..you know with no lines..you just know where to drive at LOL. So anyway I'm walking home or where ever I was going when this car pulls up near me and this woman is driving. She says excuse me, excuse me and is trying to ask me something. I keep telling her no then I take off running down the street. I run into this house and this man who appears to have been laying down in the dark on a couch bed jumps up and asks me what I'm doing in his house. I tell him a woman is chasing me and that I just need to call my mother. Yes these are my exact words I'm not generalizing. So anyway this woman shows up at the door and I tell her that I'm at home with my grandfather and aunt (the people have turned into them). Funny thing is my grandfather had a case of alzheimers when he died and tried to come on to me and my aunt is very manipulative..so why would I be running to these two of all people? She trys to come in and I'm pushing the door on her arm and what not, she is trying to drag me out the house. All of a sudden my sister appears..both of them. Now my middle sister is someone who I'm very close to. She calls me to check on me, when I need dough even though I make more than her she gives it to me, that kind of thing. So she's trying to fight the woman off when all of a sudden the womans partner appears. She is a slim tall woman and I begin to think that they are trying to kidnap me to make me some part of their sex games LOL (the lady at work laughed when I told her that). So I'm fighting and my sister is fighting and they end up dragging my sister away. She is wearing my favorite pair of pajama pants (blue plaid)...weird that I remember this I know. And I'm crying and screaming telling my other sister to write down the license plate number...JMW and 4 other numbers or something like that. She takes it down and then it's a blur. After that I remember somehow meeting up with this ladies son, who tells me that his mom is kidnapping girls for him. I'm like how come you can't talk to girls yourself (he is attractive) and he appears to be around 16 or 17. He says he doesn't know why she does is and some other nonsense. After that I wake up (645am) and hit the snooze button....I try to finish the dream out but nothing comes so I wake up.

    Now I told one of the ladies at work about my dream and she says that something is bothering me, hence me running. Then I said well why did they kidnap my sister..she doesn't know. At first she said your safe place was with your grandfather and aunt then I told her what I thought of them and she was like well I don't know now. But she's certain that something is bothering me..subconscienly to the point where it's not manifesting itself yet but coming across in my dreams. I don't know what it could be to be honest the only thing I'm really worried about it finishing my application to Howard and all I have to do for that is a autobiographical sketch and get my reccommendation letters. That shouldn't take that long and of course take the GRE again. But that doesn't expalain the kidnapping or the fact that two woman were trying to kidnap me and not a man LOL.

    Funny thing is about a week or so ago, when Music was over I had a weird dream. I had to fight someone cause they did something to me. I was all gangsta and hardcore. When we woke up to go to work I told him about it and he said he had a weird dream too. So when he's over and I have weird dreams I tell him, he laughs and asks me what the heck did I do before I went to sleep. Perhaps I don't need to eat before I sleep or something...I have no clue.

    I'm gonna try to turn the TV off before I go to bed. Maybe that will help.

    EDIT: I just found out that the aunt who was in my dream has disappeared. She is on medication and went out yesterday. She lied about where she was going to some family memebers and now she has come up missing. This is blowing me right now.

    EDIT 2: She's been found. She said that she spent the night in Raleigh, NC (she lives in SC) because a meeting that she went to lasted longer than she thought it would. My concern is that she didn't call and tell anyone..she has a kid and her husband didn't seem to be too concerned that she was gone...talking about she a grown woman...wow just cause you're running around on her doesn't mean you can't be concerned about her being missing....but they are a while nother story..I'm just glad that she's ok.

    posted@ 9:27am
    posted by Ms.Honey at 6:12 AM 18 comments