Life through my eyes......
Monday, October 30, 2006
Finished the rough draft of my personal statement that I'm submitting with my grad school application.
Downloaded 4 applications to fill out
Watching Nick Cannons show..is he really serious..how come everyone is funnier than he is even that kid Andy Milanakous or whatever his name is
4 more days till I see Red...hmm how is that gonna be....
I'm ready for this week to be over
I see Young One next week...wooohoooo
Nurse dude sent me a text last weekend...talking about he wanted to see me naked..I said I don't know who you are LOL...told him to have a nice life...I ain't got time for you only dialing my number when your current booty call don't come through..PLEASE
Neyo is looking a lil "weird" these days... hmm a lil fruit baskety and like a ninja turle...LOL
Can I really deal with going to a grad school that is in a state other than VA, MD or DC LOL...
I can...we'll see....if so NC or GA here I come
He keeps trying and I keep telling him we're only friends.....what he did can't be erased
Let's hope I can keep this up when he's in front of my face LOL
Ready for thanksgiving to be here...not just for food but cause I need a dang on break from thinking about everyday nonsense.
I got my boots from DSW....I didn't get them on Friday though..Pentagon City didn't have my size
Went to see SAW III with R...had a blast although someone brought their baby to the movies (and the baby was crying)...I mean umm WOW...someone was like get that baby out of here..I was cracking up
Why this man just said if you are hungry we have vanilla bean pies LOL...he's suppose to be a member of NAAWP (National Association for the Advancement of White People)..it's a skit on Wild N Out. WOW
That just reminded me of that skit from Dave Chappelle and the Klan LOL LOL..that is my FAVORITE skit
Ok so it's a bit brisk today here in the Washington DC/NOVA area but it's not cold enough for a coat that was created in the artic by eskimos out of polar bear skin...I mean dang. You can wear the leather but not the goosed first down..geesh people LOL
Just registered for the GRE's in December...emmmm let's hope the first go round is a charm :)
Friday, October 27, 2006
So yea...looks like I'll be driving around at night LOL...paranoid that the cops will be pulling me over....errrr
I want these boots from DSW..I'm so going to get them after work
What am I going to eat for lunch
When will this freaking weight come off
He'll be home in a month
I see HIM in two weeks and I still smile each time I see his face pop up on my phone
He's helping me get over HIM....and that is much needed
He is still trying.....but trying ain't cutting it this time.....let's pray I stand my ground
I'm going to TX to visit Red (Kappa ex).....didn't want to go to Vegas alone..casue you know they stalk people that are alone LOL..and R couldn't go out of town next weekend he has his son...so I will be in Sunny Dallas....let's hope it's sunny
I have a layover in the CHI...sorry I can't explore more of it cause based on Tenacious' love for her city I've been dying to see crack heads on the corner and stop some traffic LOL...sike let me stop
It's finally FRIDAY...why do I crave the weekend so
I need to go back to BK's Jazzercise class...probably before Nov ends hahaah..then again hopefully before then
I need some stuffing in my life...I can't wait to grub on thanksgiving..i'm gonna stop eating now so I can fit all that food in
He says he yearns to hear my voice sometimes (yes sometimes..cause I can be a pain and this I know lol)
I love sleep..why can't I get paid to do it.....
My dog is crazy....he trys to act like he's walking me sometimes...man slow the heck down
I'm going to see SAW III tonight with R....the week before last we had a talk about where this whole thing is going...ummm we've known each other for 2 years and if it hasn't gone anywhere now...do you really think it is going anywhere
He says the type of connection he has with me..he doesnt have with anyone else...alrighty buddy, what the heck does that mean..scratch that I know what it means
He says he cares about me..even loves me..but it scared...why is this the age old excuse..I mean come on man...I ain't gonna just continue to do what I do with you..I can move the heck on...LOL
Someone sent me a text yesterday...apparently it was someone I use to talk to..but have since deleted their number...I asked who it was..they didn't respond so I said well apparently you aren't someone I need to know anymore LOL....great
I think it was nurse dude for some odd reason.....
Why do I laugh when I watch porn LOL....
Did I really just admit to watching porn....
I need to go back to sleep
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
LAST OF THE BDAY PICS
Of course there are some others but umm we can't share those LOL..sike let me stop..if you scroll down to the last two posts you can see a few more.....so as you can see I had a ball..and I've figured out how to trick Blogger so I could post them (put the pics in..then type don't try to type and then post pics LOL)...anywho hope your weekend was as eventful as mine!!!!! I'm in the MAFIA now DOGGGGG!!!!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Pics of me of course from my birthday weeknd LOL..roomie and my buddy!!
Ok I've spent like an hour tryin to upload pics and what not..blogger sucks monkey nuts. So here's a run down of my bday weekend.
Friday: I had friday off from work...slept late, cooked me some breakfast, walked the dog cleaned up the bday present he left me...chilled out and talked to Young One..took a nap...got up and got dressed so I could do whatever it was that roomie had planned. I love roomie..she got us a table at Ozio's and all my favorite friends came. We did drinks, laughed at people..had people gawk at me...I had money on my shirt..a drink in my hand and a cigar in my mouth. I felt like I was in the mafia...my girl bought me a cigar and I had never tried it so I did it...not saying I'm gonna do it all the time..it was just something to do :) Partied till I was insane and was passed out when I got home.
Saturday: Got up, ate some breakfast...went shopping with the roomie. Got some shoes, a sweater or two...went home got changed and went to dinner at a lebanese restaurant. I had never been to a lebanese restaurant before so I was excited that roomie got us booked there. Aight so we get there...order food...the waiter was horrible..it took him forever to bring my friends drink and even longer for us to get our food..so I was like let's leave. The owner came over and to make a long story short we got a free meal and I got a bday kiss on the check from someone who reminds me of santa clause LOL
Sunday: Chilled out, hung up pics in my room..cause I've been meaning to do that...cleaned up the room..changed it around...did dinner again and was knocked out....
so as you can see my weekend was GREAT....ok you can't see it cause blogger suck..but you get the drift...if you want to see the pics email me and I'll forward em to you
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Day 1 October 19th, 2005
One Year Later
So if you scroll down you can see that yesterday was my blogbirthday or blogaversary (whatever you wanna call it), today is my locaversary and tomorrow is my real BIRTHDAY!!! WOOOO HOOO party harty LOL
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
So this very day one year ago I started this blog. It's been a year that has flown by..a year that has helped me come into my own somewhat. I love writing and reading some of my old posts and I can sometimes see how I've changed and how I still have some growing to do and that's fine with me....I don't mind learning something new and different about myself everyday it keeps me on my toes.
It's funny cause I can remember the first person to comment on my blog...Shout out to the Serial Dater LOL..he updates like once a year I think haha. I really didn't know what to expect when I started blogging..sometimes I still don't know what I want to blog about until my fingers touch the keys.
sometimes blog friends can help you realize more about life than the friends you see everyday
life is about change...good and bad
crazy men are drawn to me...or am i drawn to crazy men LOL (get back with me in a year maybe I'll figure out that one)
Constant was not so Constant...however I don't regret meeting him or having him in my life...
I sometimes choose to ignore the obvious and I need to stop doing that
Life doesn't have to be balanced in order to work out....it's the imbalance that makes it life
I love reading blogs LOL
I love writing......
When I feel confused about something I go back and read my blog...it brings things into perspective
I use to be shy about writing what I really felt in the beginning now I don't care....it's my blog leave if you don't wanna read what I got to say MAAANNNNN
I'm still coming into my own
I love how my mind works....even the craziness that my thoughts sometimes cause...that's what makes me me
Losing weight is a slow painstaking process LOL
I pray that this next year of blogging will lead to bigger and better things...with lots of juicy stories haha
So in closing...I wanna thank all my favorite bloggers who are listed to the left :) you all keep me sane....you help me get through the day and your comments make me smile and sometimes help me focus on what I need to do....
Take a second to go back to my first post if ya like...leave a comment or two :)
Shout out to the bloggers I've met in person: TTD, GTL BK, Anastasia (lol), Kween...you ladies and guy (lol) are hilarious and I will def be hanging out with you again :)...sorry I missed the gathering but a sista was knocked out...I look forward to meeting some more of you when time and space permits....
Have a blessed wonderful day and don't forget to live today as if it's your last.......2 more days till my 24th bday :) This weekend will be all about poppin bottles..make sure you get you some
Monday, October 16, 2006
Monday Mumbo Jumbo
I'm in a state of confusion right now...Constant has been emailing me, begging me, apologizing, asking for some time to meet and talk...he'll be back in 7 weeks..help me get through this Lord.
I can't be with someone I dont' trust and right now I dont' trust him as far as I can see him and I cant see into the Middle Sea so yea you get my point.
Young one was here this weekend. Got here Thursday night, left Sunday morning..we chilled the whole weekend except Sat...my fam came in town and he was with his boys. We laughed, talked, did movies, bowling, had a blast. I see him again next weekend when I got to SC. We're both trying not to rush things but I'm wondering if things are moving fast. Don't want to over think things cause that's when you mess things up.
The ex from TX (Kappa Man also known as Red) thinks I'm coming to TX to chill with him. Why this fool talking about a threesome....I mean dang can I just come to chill....he calls and leaves a message (I have erased his number and don't know it by heart) talking about this song made me think of you and he plays Sex by Jamie Foxx...umm boo that ain't sexy...freakin idiot.
My mommie and daddie came in town last night..my mom is on her way to Houston with some of my other fam members for a convention of some sort...so I got to play with my nephew last night and he kept me up from crying and playing imaginary football LOL
I need to start working on my grad school essay...time is quickly passing...what to do, what to do.
The First (meaning my first lol) called me last week..we talk off and on...asked me what did I think about us ever moving in together..umm boo I don't even spend time with you like that..I ain't even entertaining that thought...
Green Eyes (he's the cop I use to chill with) asked me did I miss him..what is up with people asking that...I said no not really....asked me when were me and him gonna chill I said probably never being that you don't call, and I don't call you LOL
Roomie says I can be mean sometimes...yea sometimes but it's the times that I'm not mean when I need to be that worries me.
Me and R got into it because his phone was ringing off the hook when we were hangin out...it was 2am...I told him he could get it he kept saying no....didn't bother me that his phone was ringing but that he just didn't put it on vibrate or something..so I left..he keeps calling to make sure we good...yea I guess...perhaps I'm just in my feelings...
It's Monday my bday is Friday and I'm not even as excited as I was last year...what's wrong with me LOL
All I'm looking forward to is sleeping in late on Friday....and seeing young one next weekend of course cause I have that Friday off as well.
I saw these boots as DSW I want...they are $79...might have to cop them next week. Boots are soo hard for me to find since I have big calfs and can't wear boots with a zipper on them...great...I can thank my womb donor for that..along with the hips and bricks LOL
I'm getting the I want a boo itch...I'm trying to ignore it, by remember how Constant lied and decieved me
I'm trying to use all those thoughts to keep my heart from remembering that I love him and I'm not in love with him
I'm trying to keep from thinking about the pain I feel....the tears I cry
Hopefully all that will block out remembering how I use to feel so safe in his arms....
...wishing that I could just erase him and forget he was ever in my life....but then I would not have known what it was like to love again and that's always a nice thing...I guess
It's cold in the office..my bosses are out till Tuesday which means I will have nothing to do..except read my book...I'm reading The Color Purple...yea I've read it I just like the book..sue me LOL....
I am constanly praying that God gives me patience and strength and a clear mind...sometimes I think I'm listening to him and I find out that I was only listening to myself...I don't want to do that
This weekend was crazy...roomie has a shot of Petrom (spell check lol) and we were in the drive thru line at McDonalds (late night) and I asked for a plain double cheeseburger they were like we only have the late night menu..so she asked for a number 3..a bacon egg and cheese biscuit...the dude was like no only 1-10..she yells that is number one through ten..she then says we're going to wendys...me and my godsisters were cracking up..I was crying in the passenger seat LOL
I love good times.....sad that I missed the blogger meet and greet but umm I was kinda knocked out LOL
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
.....for waking up this morning
....for your smile
....for your tears
...for the skin I'm in
.....for being able to sing in the shower and off key at that LOL
....for your hugs
.....for even being able to love you
......that life does go on
..that I finally erased your number..you mean me no good and I realize that now
......for being able to talk to my toot this morning...his innocence makes me view the world in a different light each time I hear his voice
.....for another year (oct 20th) that God allowed me to be on this earth
......for your strength...girl you my she-ro (lol)
.....for the moments that I feel you near
.....that God saw fit to even allow this moment in time to occur
......that I've loved and lost
......for the silent conversations that require no words
......that you know just how wrong you were without me even having to explain
......for each moment that I live, breathe, and grow...the good, the bad, and even the ugly
.....that I'm me.....
......that I'm finally able to say NO....cause sometimes being nice aint' where it's at
.....that I found a destination to use my free plane ticket on...ok I have to go alone but come on VEGAS.....I'm GOING TO VEGAS!!!!!!!!
.........for It's" Just Me for reminding me to be grateful
Monday, October 09, 2006
I have to hurry and decide...any ideas
Thursday, October 05, 2006
honey-libra . . . this will be a little tough, since we don't frequent each others blogs that often, but here goes. Go back to your post from October 26, 2005. Of the 7 things you said you wanted to do before you die, which one are you closest to doing?
Ok so I go back to that post.....here is my list:
1) Have a better relationship with God
2)Write a book
3) Get married and have kids
4) Own my own business
5) Speak more French so I can visit Paris (lol)
6) Learn to ride a motorcycle and buy one
7) Earn a Doctrate
So the truth is if I had to pick one that I'm really close to it would be number 1. I've learned over time that life is too short for anger or trying to become upset over things you can't change. I'm not saying I don't get peeved but I pick my battles. For example a close friend of mine celebrated her bday the other week. We went out to dinner, I among some others thought it started at 7 when it started at 530. Our mistake yes, we read the evite wrong so we were late..we come in say hello and sit down..the night moves on. Later I find out that she was upset because we didn't stop to hug her...this all after she was laughing and jokin....I apologized..she pointed out that we were the ones who read the evite wrong, we could have lost our reservation...I told her once again that all I could do was apologize and leave it at that...if she wants to drag it out she can..I'm not. I love her dearly but I don't need no drama queens....she tried to say that I'm only concerned when it's convienant for me...I said perhaps I do and that's an issue I need to work and pray on....guess she thought I was getting smart cause she said perhaps to....to make a long issue shorter LOL...I have no time to worry and fuss...I do what I can do and move on....like it or not life goes on. I've learned all this because I realize that God allows things to happen..we might not know the method to the madness but it will all come out. Even the more reason for me not to try and kill Bill (better known as Constant)...he will get what's coming to him worse that anything I could ever imagine even if that's living a life of regret knowing that he let a wonderful woman like me go....I'll be happy he wont', I'll have love..he won't...ok, ok let me stop that might sound a little mean. So I thank God each day for waking me up, allowing me to struggle through this thing called life. Some people don't get the opportunity to wake up, be around those they love, talk to those they love on a daily basis or go to a job that pays the bills until they find something they love doing.....I've learned to sing in and out of the shower, dance around the house and laugh at my corny jokes even if it means laughing alone. I'm me and that's what it is...and I thank God for showing me that
So here goes.....ask me anything. This is my very own day of reckoning..I know some of you have been drying to ask me something...anything....and I'll be honest even if it hurts.....
Am I ready....No
Will I answer truthfully....yes
Aight.......I'm all ears
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
I spent most of the weekend with Young One..in case you didn't know I went to get him on Thursday so he could spend the weekend up here with his fam..me and the roomie dropped him back off yesterday afternoon....and yes you read correctly I drove down to SC to pick him up and then drove him back (funny thing is I know he would have done the same for me so I didn't care)...call me insane or taken whatever...fact of the matter is I'm grown, I do what I want, I do what I want (from South Park) LOL..sike let me stop.
He's cool folks...we have fun together...nothing more nothing less. He just broke up with his sons mother about 3 weeks before he met me and I'm not trying to be someone's jump off or rebound whatever you wanna call it so we just chill. He knows about Jack ASS (Constant's new name) and all that jazz and I told him I don't have time for drama..I am not stupid and I know when you're tryin to play me and just because I don't bring it to your attention doesn't mean that I'm not aware of it..I just might be waiting for you to hang yourself.
So anywho Friday I chilled out...was actually in the bed kinda early and I don't know why LOL...R called (R is someone I chill with off and on, have known him for 2 years, seems longer he's 30 something) he was getting off work at 6 and wanted me to come over...I haven't seen him in about 2 weeks or so..he calls me sunshine..so I went to bed was passed the heck out and then went over to see him....he works nights so we dont' see each other too much...I was lookin done in my pajamas LOL...we ate breakfast, watched TV and then passed out....yes that's all that happened..that's what I like about him LOL....I woke up a couple of hours later and went to get my oil changed, bought some work shirts, went home, feed the dog...man he is sooo insane it kills me sometimes. When I walk him he puts the leash in his mouth like he's walking me..boo I run this LOL..talked to Young One who was packing and what not....showered, ate, then went to pick him up...we went to Pentagon City, then we went to my company outing.
You know some people you have to worry about if they are going to embarass you or not, but not him of course. He talked, knew not to talk with food in his mouth LOL...and even made sure I had something to drink whenever he got up. The funny part is we talk everyday all day, this month we've seen each other two weekends and are in no rush to be together....I talked to his son who is 2 on the phone..he is sooo cute. Man he had me crackin up.
After the outing we went to Blockbuster got some movies, got some 99 Apples (man that stuff) and watched some movies.....let him tell it that I was toasted LOL...I say I was feeling nice..cause 99 Apples is 99 proof and I guess I was throwing it back too hard I don't know....he said I was talking too much and calling everyone in my phone...I did look in my phone saw that I had called Red (the ex from texas and told him not to call me no more lol), called Nurse dude eewww I deleted the number out my phone after I saw that...have been meaning to do that...and some of my girls...called my big brother and fussed him out for neglecting me lol...and he's moving to TX....so I'm sad....me and his lil brother use to date off and on up until my freshmen year of college so yea we gooo wayyy back. Anywho what is up with drunk dialing LOL...then he wanted to watch The Notebook which is my FAVORITE movie and I said awww you wanna watch that, I love that movie, I love that you wanna watch it, I love you for that and then I said I don't love you love you, you know like that I don't want you to think I love you LOL..he was like Light Bright just be quiet LOL...then he said I was sitting with my lip pooked out cause I said he was being mean...great....no more drinkin for me LOL..yea right...needlesstoday I was passed out woke up and my top cover was on the other side of my room and I was drooling on him LOL
So anywho...my birthday is coming up on the 20th of this month..I have no clue what I'm doing since I'm going to Jamaica and Puerto Rico next year I have to save money so that means something in DC (I was suppose to be going to Boston)..probably Love on Friday which is my bday and H2O on Sat between all that get some much needed rest......I will be partying like it's 2099 LOL. I'm going to SC to visit Young One on the 27th and we're suppose to drive to ATL since I've been wanting to go back there. Later on this month I get to meet some fellow bloggers...lookin forward to that...which reminds me that I have to find something to wear that weekend...can't be looking torn up hmmmm LOL....hope you all had a wonderful weekend.