Life through my eyes......
Monday, April 30, 2007
It's always something....
Friday...I got off work and headed up to change into some jeans and meet the girls at Mikes in Springfield for dinner. It was nice, we caught up with one of our homies who lives in woodbridge (which is where I'll probably be moving to by the end of the year) since she somewhat lives out the loop of things, headed home and hit the bed since I had to get up in the morning to run some errands
Saturday: Got up, and went to the get the oil changed in the blueberry since I'll be hitting up NC later this month for mothers day and I can't afford to wait to get it done, I think it was starting to burn up my gas.
UPDATE: I just talked to the chic about the DR trip and she says that if I can have the money to them by thte 15th I can go...and guess what I CAN!!! Which means i will be going to the DR!!! WOOOHOOO man I tell ya....I won't be able to spend for real right now but that beats staying in the US when I wanted to leave!!! I know I wont be at the beach with Hun but he's going to CA and NY this summer..both without me...well he's going to NY twice once with me and once without me (he just doesn't know it yet lol) and I know we'll be at the beach sometime this summer together so it's all gravy
So back to Saturday...after I got the oil changed I went back home and showered we (the roomie, her sister and her dad) headed to DC and viewed the exhibits at the Holocaust. I haven't been there since middle school so it was an experience and I've always worried why there is no museum about slavery. If not a museum at least a couple of floors in a museum. It was funny hanging out with roomies sis since I don't see her that often, although she lives down the street. She lives with her BF and I don't want to never see my friends just cause I live with my BF. Things are kinda shady in the dept cause from what I hear at first he didn't have any clothes there and one time he had to come home change his clothes and then go back to work..why do you need to do that....umm yea sounds and looks liek a duck to me...which means it's probably a duck, unless it's a wolf in ducks clothing. On top of that her hair appears to be falling out, I wonder if that's from her smoking. He's apparently bought her lots of animals (a dog, some turtles, some doves, a lizard, a snake and somthing else...I'm waiting on him to buy her a tiger)..I wondered if that was to keep her home and occupied...but that's my girl and although I don't like the situation I'm not gonna let that stop me from being there for her when she needs me. After that we grabbed some food and headed home since it looked like it was about to rain. Got bored and decided to head to DC which turned into a bust because there was a private party at LOVE and they were charging $20 for admission..we forgot to get on the guest list for H20 and Avenue and some other spots were international night. Sooo we headed home.
Sunday: I've been saying over and over that I'm gonna go to BK's class again (hey girl!!!) and this time I went. Those ladies in her class made me feel like I was so out of shape and had no rhythm which I don't really LOL..I mean I can dang to a beat but give me a routine to learn and you'll think that I'm a white girl LOL. Homegirl worked us out!!!! I learned a few things that I can do at home while watching TV and on top of that on the days that I don't go to the gym I can go to ONDemand and do some things off of there...she fixed breakfast which was great by the way (and I felt weird not helping but next time its' on lol). Her daughter really does look like a mini her LOL..at least to me she does and her son has the longest eyelashes that I've ever seen, he is a cutie. It was funny watching him and his grandmother while we were waiting for BK to finish chatting. He was showing her his kicks and asking her what was wrong and she was telling him...LOL that's one thing I miss...having my grandmother around.
Came home showered and went to the HUNs house so that we could go look at townhouses. We looked at a couple and narrowed it down to three that we liked. We're going to see today if we can start the process on finding out about our first choice. It has a garage and three bedrooms, it's a condo/townhouse setup. It has a huge closet which is what I wanted...he doesn't care LOL and nice sized rooms and the bedroom has a balcony on it...hmm nice and the trees are in front of it even better..he says he's gonna get a gun LOL...great. I'm really feeling it so we'll see...and yes this means that we are moving in together LOL...it probably wont be till the end of the year but we'll see. Yes, things are getting rather serious and I didn't expect it, it came out of no where...and I've always said that I would never move in with a guy and umm yea ah well, never say never I guess lol. I'm kinda skeptical about what the parents would say since they are against this whole moving in thing as a whole...but I have to make my own decisions and me and the Hun have talked about marriage and we're working towards that...he thinks it would be smart to buy something now versus renting and then buying later we'd be wasting another year renting...plus we want to move down south and we can sell the place in 2 years and all that jazz. So yea alots going on LOL.
Got back from looking at houses and headed to my house to cook dinner and chill out. I tell ya I have to get use to this whole having a BF that is around alot LOL. In being honest with myself the only time I was around a BF this much was when I was in college and I was home on breaks with him...but you know breaks don't happen every month. On top of that when I was with Constant..he's in the navy so he wasn't home every month either..... so this is the first time I've ever had a BF that lives this close to me, and I see 4 - 5 times a week...great. To say that it's weird is an understatement. I find myself wondering sometimes if I'm being annoying becuase I'm so use to being alone and doing me and chatting with the BF only a couple of times a week, not everyday and him not being able to come over all the time like Hun. I'm not complaining, I'm just adjusting. On top of that we've started spending more and more together and I know that when we live together being away from one another is gonna be few and far between LOL..so great. I just have to get use to it all...LOL funny that we get so use to not being treated the way that we want to and when we get it how we want it...we find it weird to adjust LOL
Off to see about your weekend....have a great day...it's monday it's suppose to be 80 degrees here and I wore some cute sandals and felt a drop of rain on my head as I headed into the building...great
UPDATE: So I get an email about my grad application..everything has been processed and it's being forwarded to the school that I applied to. I should know in 4-6 weeks if I'm in or not...keep your fingers crossed for me.
Friday, April 27, 2007
WHY on FRIDAY
...did this man bust out laughing on the train while watching something on his ipod or whatever it was...ok it might have been funny but you know you don't do that in the morning someone will cut you
...is it raining outside, come on man, it's FRIDAY!! It's suppose to be sunny, but hey I guess we shouldn't have gotten or rather I shouldn't have gotten so comfortable wearing my open toe shoes as of yet (and no I don't have them on today I have on some orange heels lol)
...am I actually looking forward to running errands tomorrow, I have to get an oil change, go check out some luggage and possibly get a digital camera, so I'll finally be out of the house most of the day wooohooo
...am I so not looking forward to paying bills, then again it doesn't matter what day it is I don't like payin em, but they gotta get paid :)
...did I see someone without a coat on and once again referring to statement one on this page...what the devil in hell were you thinking, coming out the house with nothing on, mess around and get pnemonia
..is that african man from nigeria still sending me messages even after I told him that I wasn't me LOL..come on mannnnn leave well enough alone...callin me darling ain't gonna help either..I tell ya
..do I feel the urge to eat something else for lunch than what I brought (a bistro meal with salisbury steak and carrots)..ah well that urge better go away cause I gots to keep this weight off
...do I want this digital camera soooo BAD!! I mean so bad as in I will not pay my phone bill for another week just so I can go get it LOL...sad I know but that's how I am, when I want something I gots to have it and will hold off on other things just cause I want it..I'm even want it to so bad that I want it more than I want these shoes I saw LOL...now you know that's serious
....did I leave my check card at home, and I knew I was going to Radio Shack to see if they had the camera I wanted...guess that means I'll be waiting till tomorrow..great
...do I wish I could go home for the weekend but I'll be there soon enough, I try to stay away cause that's a DRIVE!!!
....can't I wait to eat dinner with the girls tonight, one of the homies says we've left her out (she's live in woodbridge, that's like 20 min way) so we're all doing dinner to catch up with her
...can't I wait to go to the ALPHA probate at Mason tonight...all the greeks had lines this year so I'm glad that the greek community is growing (too bad they didn't think that way when I went there LOL)
...do I feel somewhat jazzy in my tan, brown and orange....then again I should feel jazzy all the time :)
...do I feel like slapping somebody today...sike nah I really don't I just like that song
....am I wondering or is it just me about Fannies new video (Fantasia)..it's cute and all (I think that HAWT football player does that to it) but I'm not feeling the whole kiddie look of it
...am I sooo glad that Young One got a car, he's worked hard and he finally got one..that's my buddy (no not like that, that part of us is over, but he's actually become one of my closest friends)
....am I wondering why I don't feel like I miss HUN like I usually do, probably cause I have things to occupy me haha
....am I wondering why I just said that when I know I smile just thinking that we're going to look at some more townhouses on Sunday, that's probably why I'm not missing him too much,cause I'll see him sunday
.....at this very moment am I wishing it were 5pm so I can go home LOL
...am I wishing that it was the week that I go to the DR..then again that would mean that June is coming and my toot (my nephew) turns 3..eekkkkk he's growing up so fast..I'm getting him a car for his bday (not that kind of car, a big wheel is what it is)
...am I anticipating getting another tattoo before I go to the DR, hmm where should I get it...the first one is sorta on my butt so I cant get this one on my lower back it would look weird, maybe on my upper back shoulder, we'll see
Have a wonderful weekend, it's suppose to be nice here in the NOVA/DC/MD area..so I'll be out and about with my STUNNA SHADES on (sike probably not lol) who knows maybe I'll see ya in the streets!!!!!!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I'm forever grateful for...
the Most High allowing me wake up this morning with the usage of all my limbs and senses
blessing those who lived through the tragedy at VT to realize that life is short and you better get your house in order
my parents who are so strong, I don't know how they do it
understanding that my parents didn't raise no fool but I have to make my own decisions
my sisters (biological and other) they all serve different purposes in me being me
standing my ground when doubt crept in about Constant really being gone.....cause Big Honey quickly proceeded to shut her down LOL
the sleep I got last night in my fresh clean sheet, and the laundry that I did when I got home
noticing that I gained a couple of pds in the tummy area....and it's not from eating or pregnancy LOL (it's that time of the month)..but it did make me realize that I can't over eat cause I don't want it to stick around LOL
for the african man that proceeded to tell me he loved me yesterday on yahoo IM...AHHHAHHAHA..man he made my day then I had to threaten to block him if he didn't leave me alone..this man talking about he would sue me and file an injunction on me LOL...boo you cant do that LOL...I tell ya he made me and a couple of the friends laugh though
the sun that's shining outside and the light breeze that's blowing...it's suppose to rain later but that God that I finally got to wear some open toe shoes and not feel like everyone was staring at me
for the understanding in seeing who really means me no good..realizing that some folks change for the worst is a hard thing to do
the ability to delete and move on...you know what I mean LOL
my homie putting me on to Teedra Moses...that girl can SANNNNNNNGGGG (lol)
the anticipation of the weekend...nothing much planned just glad to be off from work
going to the DR!!!!! WOOHOOOO man I am too excited I feel like a kid on the first day of school with a new bookbag and those new shoes I've been waiting all summer to get...with the fresh notebook and the pack of paper LOL..aight let me stop
for the next out of country trip I'm planning already and haven't even been on the first...I got the passport now other than funds there is no reason I can't go INTERNATIONAL baby!!!! (then again funds will stop ya lol)
my Hun...he makes me happy this you can bet :) I could go on and on about how much he makes me happy sometimes is surreal....he's not a man of many words when it comes to how he feels but his actions say it all the time and for that I'm forever grateful
each of you...looking and feeling good..I know you are..go ahead and smile :) And even if you're having a rough one...please believe that somewhere in this big ole world someone has it worse that you...
posted@8:44am (yea I got to work early LOL)
Monday, April 23, 2007
I don't know why that song popped into my head possibly because it's so beautiful outside...possibly because I have a skirt on and that's so not me..possibly because I finally feel and am FREEEEE.
I know you're like free from what. Free from someone who I thought had let go but really hadn't and last night that moment came when I finally got IT. You know that moment where you're like dang why am I still holding on, why haven't I let go before and then BAMN something they do or something they say just turns that switch off in you and you finally honestly LET GO.
I feel so much better. I pray that he heals because I have and it took a second for me to admit it to myself but I guess I was lying to myself to even think that we could be friends. He has issues and I do not need to be involved in that. As you've noticed I have my own issues to deal with LOL.
I have a man that makes me smile, calls me his apple face and puts up with my loud talking :)
So why should I care that we are no longer friends. Truth be told you don't ever need friends who treat you like your being a bother cause they will usally tell you that you are being a bother, you'll tell them to shut up and continue to bother them LOL.
He was in town last night and stopped over....something inside of me said no, something inside of me said ohhh he's just a friend now it won't matter, you'll always be friends. I should have known by the run around I was getting that he wasn't the same individual that I had once called my friend. So he popped over, didn't come up (and after it all went down I was glad) and proceeded to tell me to hurry cause he has things to do...like what I said..go pick up something from my man..he has to work in the morning...alrighty....so he tells me he'll see me on Tuesday and I say no..he says he knows I don't have anything to do...how can you assume that..you want me to change what I have to do to see you on tuesday..no thanks. I open the door to get out, my mind is made up..it's over..no more friends...no more phone calls..no more emails.....he asks where I'm going, why am I doing this....I tell him I'm not mad, close the door and walk up to my house....he sits for a second then drives off...no getting out the car to follow me, no phone call to ask me what I'm doing....nothing....I'm just an afterthought to him. That's when it hit me for the second time that night....I'm wasting my time, giving my friendship to someone who doesn't deserve it and I won't do that ANYMORE.
As I walked up the steps I erased his number from my phone...erased it from my call log so I wouldn't even be tempted to dial it and ask him anything...and in the process I erased him from my heart. I can't fully committ to Hun if I'm clinging on to something that isn't anymore. It isn't a relationship and it isn't a friendship and it's not even healthy.
It takes me time to get to that moment when I can honestly admit to myself and others around me that I'm done...I can say it out my mouth and still feel it in my heart and it's like my phone is an extension of me sometimes cause I can say I'm done but if you're still in my phone I'm really not. Last night I let go, I wanted to cry as I walked back in the house...but why. I'm happy and my tears would have been for him and he's not worth it. I dont' buy into the sayin that says the person who you love will never make you cry..not true but sometimes you have to realize that the person who they've become or are now might not be worth crying over.
This weekend was nice and chill, just how I like it since I didn't make it to the Bean. (HEYYY MISSYYYYYY!!!) Friday I cooked dinner and me, the roomie and hun watched some tv till we were all knocked out LOL. It was quite funny me on the couch, her on the chair and hun had gone upstairs..I went up there and found him buried under the covers like a lil kid.
Saturday we got up and I went with him the DMV where he proceeds to complain cause the city forgot to take his hold off for his taxes so he was shouting about calling there and kirking out LOL...he's funny. After that since it was SOOO nice outside I wanted to go to DC. He was such a trooper which makes me love him even more. He doesn't like doing the whole museum thing but he hopped on the metro with me (he hasn't rode it since he was a kid) and we walked and talked and ate some lunch in DC. There were so many people out and the weather was so nice. I told him thank you about a billion times for doing that cause you know how they are when they do something they don't normally do so I wanted him to know how much I appreciated him going. It's little things like that...ya know...I tell ya makes me smile just thinking about it LOL..ok moving along.
As times passes and we spend more time together I find it funny how there are things about us that annoy one another. Yesterday he brought it to my attention that he hates when I ask him what is he gonna do all day...harrass his keyboard (lol)..he was like I hate when you do that and I was like what that's what you say I just repeat you and he was like but it's the way you say it and I was like you are misinterpreting what I say...when I say that it just means are you gonna work on music all day...meaning just that..nothing more nothing less...apparently he took me askin that as wondering if he was gonna come over or something...boo do what you wanna do LOL..I don't have to see you everyday....so we cleared that right on up...I said you don't have to read between the lines with me..if I want to see you and spend time with you I'll let it be known...if we ever move in together we'll be together most of time..so get your me time in while you can LOL.
MY PASSPORT FINALLY CAME!!!! IT'S OFFICIAL IM LEGIT AND COME THURSDAY MY TRIP WILL BE PAID FOR (yes I'm really screaming that loud on the inside lol) I leave in a month (I'm going to the Dominican Republic) and I'm TOOOO excited. This weekend I'm going to pick up a diff color suitcase cause I'm tired of black and picking up someone else's and I will be looking for a cute one piece since I have a rack of two pieces...I only have those cause my belly won't be so big come end of may I'm working on that as we speak LOL. I actually want a white one piece we'll see if I can find a cute one.
I downloaded some movies to my mp3 player and I have to buy a camera, I'm doing that next month probably a week before I leave and a charger for my mp3 player so I won't have to take my laptop. I'll miss the hun but he's going to CA in July so boo to him LOL.
It's beautiful outside and I'm sure you all are looking rather jazzy today (i don't know what to say to you brothers but umm I would assume you're looking rather GQish lol) enjoy today and this beautiful weather
Friday, April 20, 2007
I've missed blogging and being updated on what's going on with you guys so I'm sorry that I haven't been by...charge it to my head not my heart :)
Me and the hun are looking at townhouses....which means that yes it's getting rather serious between the two of us...we're just looking right now and no I don't have any news to report LOL..so don't bother askin (either question and you know which ones I mean lol)
I had this whole post lined up last friday where I was gonna do random things about myself that I've noticed are weird or others have said are weird, but last Friday I didn't feel like it, plus I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off at work..how dare they give me work on a friday when I'm at work LOL..darn them
So I'm gonna do it today....
1. If you dont know that I LOVE ranch dressing you do now...and when I say I love it, I love it..I eat it on fries, pizza, sandwiches, etc (I just got another favorite dressing it's called Parmesean Ramano and yea I spelled it wrong but oh well lol)
2. I detest folks that are NASTY...if your clothes are a mess and you can help it I'm gonna assume that your house is a skunk hole as well.
3. I have to sleep with the closet door closed, not it can't be cracked..it has to be closed
4. Although I'm going to mess my bed right back up I had my covers and sheets to be all twisted up..I will make it up and then get in it if I have to...the hun says I'm crazy
5. I was just informed yesterday by Hun that I say boo boo too much...and I sound like a ghetto girl when I say it...apparently it comes out nahhh boooboooo LOL however I informed him that I only say it when something or someone annoys me or blows me
6. I LOVE shoes. I have a problem I dont' know how Hun is gonna deal with it when we get married cause we will need a room for my stuff off top LOL. I will buy the same shoe in different colors...and I have a garbage bag filled with flip flops....it's that serious
7. Although I've heard I have pretty shapley legs I generally don't wear skirts..however I have more of them than pants...weird I know
8. Sometimes if I'm at work I'll use the bathroom with the door open if I know no one is coming in and all I have to do is pee LOL...what can i say I'm weird
9. Once I cut someone off...I CUT THEM OFF!!! It may take me a while to release you fully but once you're gone...you're gone. Once I begin to feel like I wanna cut you off....nothing can convince me to spend time with you
10. I love hard. Once I admit I love you which has probably been for a while but I'm trying to determine if it's love or just lots of like...you'll be able to tell and I'll tell you all the time. LOL...not annoying like you'll just know how I feel.
11. I'm not big on conflict and when I'm faced with it my heart feels like it's about to come out my chest cause it's beating so hard, but let me have to engage and I will let you know a little something something.
12. I talk fast...at least that's what I hear...I just think folks are listening slow.
13. I crave weather like this....the colors, the shoes, the sun..it's just something about spring and summer that make me feel beautiful
14. When folks blow their noses and what not I get visuals LOL....nasty just nasty..which is why I cringe everytime the lady at my job blows her nose.
15. I want children maybe like a year from now...not a weird thing and I don't know if it's the pregnant women that are stalking me as of lately but I've gotten the urge to be motherly LOL....
16. My aunt can "see" things, you know we all got one in our families...and most of the time she's right on the marker..she knew when my cousin was pregnant down to the day she concieved to the day she is due (but we know how babies are on coming lol)
17. In college I LOVED blue, still do but I had to have something blue on almost everyday....if I had to pick between a shirt in a store the blue one always won out..got so bad my girls told me that I couldn't buy anything else blue when we went out shopping....I still LOVE blue but now its more in moderation, yet I still tend to lean towards blue if I have to choose lol
18. I want to be a researcher..I don't know why I wanna spend my days and nights reading and writing but I do....hence me hopefully going to grad school in the fall
19. I want to write a book...I've written stories for class and stuff from what I understand I have a way with words
20. Everyonce in a while I like to drink to the point of laughter LOL..meaning everything is funny, I'm the life of the party (cause I'm normally shy) and I holla at cute men (of course not lately)...I never become the annoying drunk that hasn't happened since college but I like to get "nice"
21. While in college I just got over the need to feel like I should impress folks that I grew up with..you know folks who were in the popular crowd and what not. I dont' know why I felt like I had something to prove..most of them have kids now and aren't married or whatever...funny that I use to want to be "in"
22. I LOVE me..yea I know it's not weird but I've always been the thicker chic than ALL of my friends and I mean ALL of them..even the bestest..she is tall and has these model long legs lol...I just became comfortable in my own skin....I'm not saying I wanna be 400 pds but I like where I'm at right now and with the help of the recent gym visits things are starting to jiggle a little less and tighten alot more :)
23. I love going to the library. I can go in there for hours looking for books to read and I never come out with less than four books...plus I have to have an even number of books if I find a 5th one I have to find number six lol
24. I'd love to meet most of the folks on my blogger list LOL...some of you guys crack me up and some of you make me understand myself so much more and I'm sure you never even knew that. If I could go on a blogger city tour I would..but umm bills gotta be paid LOL
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
I'm thankful for...
being able to wake up and make it to work, to say that I'm sleepy is an understatement lol
the ability to drive to the 757 and make it back safe and sound
spending time with my fam and friends
my Hun and how he makes me feel special even when he's trying to kick me out so he can get some work done lol
being able to love him and not second guess it any more
for the united front that the local universities are creating as tragedy struck VT (We are all Hokies!)
the ability to realize that life is too short, live as if today is your last and love like you wont' ever experience again. You never know the internal battle someone else is going through....be an encouragement.
for Jeremiah Junious Malik who finally made his entrance into the world Monday night....his name alone speaks greatness (7pds 13 oz and 20 inches long)
being able to experience childbirth without having to go through the pain of it all right now LOL
for this weekend looking like it's gonna be a relaxed one once again with fam, spoiling the newest addition.
realizing that this list doesn't have to be extra long just to show that I'm thankful...just saying I'm thankful is enough...
Monday, April 16, 2007
My godsisters came the younger one got her hair braided by the roomie. On Friday night we took them to the Ultrabar (it's 18 and over). I think they had a blast, I know I did, then again I had some drinks in my system lol...oh to be over 21 lol
It's funny to watch guys try and talk to them, cause I'm like I remember when they were little and now they are into boys LOL...awwww
So we didn't get home till like 3am and of course she had to get her hair braided so we slept a lil late 10 to be exact, got up went to the hair store and she started gettting her hair done. Roomie had to leave to go to a baby shower so while she was gone, we all took a nap.
Roots was on and I started to watch that....MANNN that thing seemed like it was on ALLLLL Day! I woke up and it was one..went back to sleep and it was one...roomie came home from the baby shower and I promise that it had started over LOL.
We ordered pizza and what not, chilled out since lil sis was getting the hair done we couldn't do too much. The Hun came over, they love him to death LOL..they call him the funny man, I don't know why lol he's not all that funny to me (of course I'm jokin)
He wanted to show me some townhouses that he was looking at and asked me to go with him on sunday.
I sure as heck wasn't staying up all night to watch her get her hair done so I went to bed. We got up ate some pizza for breakfast LOL..and one of the lil sisters was meeting up with her dad who lives in MD....so they left and I went over the Huns house. It so rainy and nasty outside that by the time we were done looking at townhouses (5 I think) my pants legs were drenched, maybe cause I'm short too lol...but needlesstosay I was TIRED. We hung out at his house for a while and then headed to mine. Where he cooked dinner and we watched some TV.
It's funny cause Sunday was the first time that I think we've gotten annoyed with one another. For example, we were in the car and his windows were fogged up, I was like dang your windows are foggy and he was like what and I said your windows and he was like oh. So like 10 min later I was like dang these windows and he was like COME ON MAN of course I was shocked into silence LOL..and we went in the store and he was like I'm sorry for yellin but you just kept talking about foggy windows. I do tend to repeat myself and I told him that it's only cause I'm so use to riding by myself and when my windows get foggy or whatever I fix it, I'm not use to waiting. So I apologized for repeating myself and we moved on. So I repeated myself another time during the day and he once again brought it to my attention, what can I say I talk alot I can't help it. So great, we could have had a blowout but umm I ain't got time for the petty stuff so we discussed and moved on. Great
I'm tired, ready to home and want to know about my grad school app but oh well you can't rush someone else LOL. I could type alot more but I'm tired and just don't feel like it
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Thank you for....
allowing me to wake up this morning and allowing me have all of my facilities (lol, that's old school for ya)
the time that I spent this past weekend with my family and friends, I had a blast with all of them. I realize how much I miss them when I come back this way
the woman that made me chuckle to myself cause she was talking to herself...and she was serious too...facial expressions and all..I hope she had a ear piece in
the many blogs that I read throughout the day that make me smile and also confirm a few things that I need confirmation on
my Hun, I smile everyday just thinking about how he's so right for me. It's funny how I see in his actions how he really does "feel" me as much as I feel him
my mommie thinking that I'm getting married soon LOL...she's funny.
being able to listen to music at work..sometimes the silence is deadly (on top of that I don't want to listen to that lady tell anyone about her dad dying or her dog AGAIN)
the compliments I've recieved today on my getup (that's an outfit lol) I'm wearing a red button up shirt but it looks like a jacket with brown pants, with a brown belt and red shoes. Everyone says red looks nice on me and it's nice to put red and brown together..good cause I didn't know what it was gonna look like this morning LOL
blessing me....that's enough said right there :)
the non apprehension I feel about my grad application..if it's for me it will occur, you already know the outcome, why should I fret over it
rejuevenating my want to be closer to you...I know I don't do what I should sometimes but I pray that you lead me and guide me into who I'm destined to be
teaching me lessons that I sometimes don't even think I need
allowing me to be nonchalant in voice and spirit when it comes to him...he's no longer my focus..I never thought I could get over him...but look what happened when I did..you brought me HUN :)
each and every one of you..reading this now...I pray that you are having a blessed day and you know that even though I may not have met you in person...you're still special to me :)
Monday, April 09, 2007
Home was nice this weekend, my parents were gone but I got there Friday morning so I saw them before they left for NC on Sat morning. Man when I say I have blast with my fam I have a blast, as soon as I walked in the door my nephew was like aunnntiiiiee LOL...I love that lil man. He is sooo spoiled though I tell ya. I tried to be the grownup auntie and correct him when he did wrong and most of the time I was good about it but there were other times when I would baby him and silently laugh when he told my sis to shut up. I mean hey she did it to my parents and she is getting it ALLLL back and I mean ALL cause that boy gives her a run for her money. His crazy tail be sayin stuff like shoot when he drops stuff or when people tell him to sit down. Talking about some get off of me and he's the one holding on to me lol. What did crack me up though was when he told me Auntie I tired and I was like well go to sleep LOL..he said ok then he'd be like Auntie I hungry....that boy I tell ya
So Friday nothing jumped off too much....Constant called me to see if I was in town of course saying he was going to stop by I told him there was no need (WHOOOHOO for me), cause you know that was hard. I talked to the boo (who I must say is doing rather well and planting himself in my life pretty darn good lol), played around with my nephew, went to go see my god daughter and the bestest. While there she mentioned that she was going out to dinner with one of her girls from school (she goes to NSU where she is working on finishing her teaching degree) so I volunteered to keep my god daughter. I didn't have anything to do but go to church that night for the last night of youth revival so I took her with me.
Man, youth revival was off the chain. The preacher was a young guy I think he was in his 30s and he spoke about how we as people not just young people should try to talk to folks about Christ. Now I will admit that I tend to be horrible at this only because I'm not where I want to be in that aspect of my life and I don't want someone to think I'm a holy roller or something, but I do what I can do. If you talk to me somewhere along the line you'll notice that I go to church or something to that nature, but I will try to do better in this area. So I was really rejuevenated (?) after I left and that's always nice. While I was there I saw this guy that I had a crush on from elementary school to high school. We went on a couple of dates after I graduated from HS and went to Mason but nothing serious. Well he's getting married....I was like what LOL, well congragulations and he's like yea I moved to Richmond to live with her....more conversation and he mentions that she lives with her parents (so you live with her and her parents hmmm) and that they have been dating 4 months and are getting married in july (hmm I'm wondering if she's pregnant..I don't ask in case your wondering lol..I'm nosey but I decided to leave that one alone it's none of my business) So I'm like awww congrats and he sees my god daughter and I let him know its the bestest LOL and he says its my turn next and that he was waiting to marry me and I'm like boo no you wont stop lying lol..i'm flattered but umm no thanks lol (as my momma said if you were waiting then you'd still be waiting lol) I was like I wonder what his future wife would think of him sayin that to me and no he wasn't jokin as he looked at me with his bed room eyes lol and kept hugging me lol. I just dont' want to get married before I'm ready or just because I'm pregnant cause man that is some serious stuff...I ain't playin around with that...once I get married I'm only divorcing by dyin lol and that ain't a divorce ya feel me :)
Saturday the parents leave and me and the siblings are chilling when my sis informs me that she doesn't feel well (her due date was saturday) so we wait it out and she still doesnt' feel better...I call the bestest and she volunteers to come with me to the hospital just in case I'm there for a second and watch the nephew (my other sis had a date with her bf and i didn't want to hold her up) so we get there they hook her up and monitor her...nothing. No dialating, no water breaking..nothing. I'm like listen here boy (my baby nephew) don't be playing with my emotions LOL..I was all nervous like I was the one having a baby lol. So they send us home, tell her to walk and eat and take some meds. Great. So we eat, she walks and we all go to sleep....watch a lil tv and BAMN 1130pm and we're back at the hospital...they wont induce it's only 1 day over her due date, they'll give it till about wed or so and then induce, but they want her body to do it on her own...blah blah blah.....back at home at 2am. Which means I didn't make it to 630am service and barely made it to 11am service lol. Funny after service everyone kept saying how much I've slimmed down and how nice I looked and all that. It was nice, gave me motivation to keep doing what I'm doing. I wanna be down to 150 or so by next summer cause my parents are renewing their vows (25 years) and I wanna wear a nice dress that doesn't make it look like I have a booty do (stomach sticks out more than your booty do lol) great
Went to eat dinner with the siblings, my nephew, my sis bf and an ex of mine who is now like a brother to me. It's nice catching up with him, I felt bad for him though cause he was soo in to this chic and even said that she was the one and she broke up with him last week cause she still had feelings for her ex. An ex that he said slashed her tires, said she was no good and a rack of other stuff...I tell ya, sad just sad. Went home, napped and waited for the parents to come back so I could hit the road. Conversed with an old friend who is trying to get a house..talking about his mom asked him when he was getting married talking about he needs a gf first lol that would help and then he said yea I would ask you but you wayy up there..umm great. Guys are too funny. Hit the road about 745 stopped off at the boos house and slept there and mosied on back home at 4am (traffic up this way after 7 is a toss up so I woke up and left). I missed him LOL...yea I'm corny but I did. I said this is the 2nd time we've spent the whole weekend apart and he was like you'll be aight LOL..I know I will I'm a big girl. He talked to my nephew when I was home and he was like our son ain't gonna be cryin like that LOL..I was like oh really which one LOL..Julius or Amir hahaha....
All this talk about kids and what not makes me smile but I do wonder if his tail is serious LOL. My mom was like let me know if I'm gonna be planning your wedding and mine at the same time LOL ummm not that I can tell right now and I'd do it later in the year anyway LOL..great
So the weekend was good despite me not getting too much sleep..maybe this weekend I'll get some then again I might be home again if JJ decided he wants to make his entrance.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Its My Friday and I'll party if I want to......
I get to see my Hun today, I haven't seen him since Sunday...wow, yea we've both been very busy.
He'll get a whole full weekend away from me....I'm sure he and I need it LOL
I get to leave work early...I have a doctors appointment at 2 and a orthodontist appointment at 330....so umm yea all that should be loads of fun
I haven't even packed yet and I need to do laundry...why do I do laundry every week LOL...you'd think I ran out of clothes or something nope just like having nothing in the hamper I guess
What is going on with this whole rain and flurries type weather I thought old man winter was gone...apparently he decided to come back
It's insane how much I've been ready for today to get here and now that it's here I wish it were time for me to go home...that's me huh can't even be satisfied LOL
Trying to decide if I'm going to sunrise service of 11am...hmmm 11am is looking more and more appealing then again I might be at both of them
I'm struggling with this whole patience issue...however I did get an email saying they recieved my application and I should know the status online of it in about 2 weeks hmmmmm (silently praying)
I heard the Romeo & Juliet version of Kissing you and I must say that I like it better than the B version (B as in Beyonce)....she's doing the dang on thing but ummm sometimes you can over do it, but hey that's her and she ain't payin my bills so she can have at it LOL
I have yet to see the Pursuit of Happiness but I am def going to see Spiderman 3 when it comes out....I love me some spiderman (if only he were real, or a man would kiss me upside down LOL)
Ok why does apple juice make me have to pee more than water does?
What is it about T.I. that I love LOL...ok he's skinny and small and I might break his leg if I sat on (not really just make it go to sleep lol) but I love his vibe and his dress I tell ya...that We takin over video is aight
I love Aerosmith's song "I dont wanna close my eyes" yes, I know that's not the name of the song (at least I don't think it is) but that's what I call it
Have you seen that show In search of the next pussycat doll....those girls are tooo funny...why was home girl singing like she was bored LOL....if you gonna sing like that I don't wish my gf was hot like you LOL...that would be if I was a man and had a gf lol
Ummm Sanjaya what is going on boo boo...enough on that
Lies....back to that..does America really believe this boy can sing..what the monkey piss?!
I like Melinda more than I like Lakeisha...I don't know what it is but I just do...no need to flood the comment box..it's just my opinion folks not tryin to save the world LOL
Once again I'm being haunted by babies...however me and the Hun have talked about his name choices....I can dig em they are cute...we'll see. And NO I'm not pregnant and don't plan on poppin any out right now LOL
Shout out to T& J Promotions (they're having a party this friday...and if I wasn't out of town I would def stop through)
Ok so I bought some more dress pants last night (you can never have enough)....and...I bought some shoes.....I know I know I said I wasn't getting anymore but I've needed some green shoes and these were wedge and they were I mean are so cute!!! Plus I saw these HOTTTTT pink ones that I want..we'll see I might hold off on those they didn't have my size..and I'm already cleaning out my shoe closet (giving the ones I don't wear anymore to my godsister) so we'll see what I have left when I'm done
I need to pack and clean out that closet when I get home after my appointments.
I do believe that it wont look as if I gave anything away lol
I asked the Hun where he had been hiding all this time...he said I was always in my room when I was at Mason if I had been out and about I would have seen him (NOT the case LOL...he just wasnt there when the blacks were out and about at events lol)
I'm not really partying tonight probably just go to a probate on campus that's about it...I love living near my alma mater...I still get to stay involved..when I want to that is
I found out my great aunt died last week...my dad thought my mom told me but she didn't and the funeral was yesterday. My daddy called me when they were on their way home, great dad just great...I actually liked going to visit her. She's in a better place though :)
I'm volunteering with Big Brother Big Sister.....from TTD's stories I'm walking on pins though lol
Have a wonderful blessed holiday!! And as BluJewel says remember that real reason behind it all...plus I don't like marshmellow bunnies anyway LOL
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Thank you for...
allowing me to wake up this morning to the smell of the rain outside
the weather outside, I don't know if it's spring or winter but I enjoy the sun so much more now :)
allowing me to have more patience when I deal with certain things and people, I'm growing up
keeping me under your wing even when I don't know that I need to be kept
providing me with the means to take care of myself
the numerous clothes that I have in my closet, ok I say that I have nothing to wear but in reality I do lol
blessing me with a wonderful family I couldn't have asked for anything better
friends that pop up just when I need them and even when I don't think I need them
life, health and strength of my being
helping me to understand and see just how people are....even when I don't want to admit it to myself.
blessing me with my Hun....where have you been hiding him all this time LOL
blessing me the drive to finish my grad school application and finally send it off...now all I can do is pray and leave it in your hands
the opportunity to spend time with family and friends this weekend
everything that you have set in motion for my future..I don't know what's to come but I'm ready
allowing me to realize that I am fearfully and wonderfully made....I'm one in a million, there is no ONE like me...and that's great..cause I don't think I could even deal with another me LOL
for tomorrow being my Friday....Lord knows I'm ready to go home :)
Monday, April 02, 2007
Saturday: Woke up bright and early and headed to the post office to get my passport. FINALLY. I know I know I'm a lazy bum who will be sitting here in May whining about not being able to go LOL. But it's done now and all I have to wait on is them to send it to me. That passport line was off the hook glad I got there early and was out before 11. Headed home after buying some cute lil flats (which are red and I'm wearing them now) and hopped back in the bed. The Hun was working on some stuff so I didn't see him till about 8 that night and I cooked dinner and we ate...for some odd reason he said that I looked better than usual LOL..umm great. He was like nah you don't look bad I'm just saying you look extra cute today LOL..awww he's so cute. So we ate and watched a lil TV and proceeded to hit the sack.
Sunday: Got up, ate some breakfast and bummed around. Watched a lil of the Miami Heat game and he left to get some work done. It's crazy how much he makes me happy these days LOL Me and the roomie headed to the gym and did an hour of cardio. Man I tried the crossrunning machine, I think it's something like the elliptical..I felt like I was about to ski out of the building LOL..the lady beside me told me that I could turn the stride down..glad she did cause I was about to be on the street or on the floor beside the machine LOL. Went home, showered ate a Lean Cuisine (which are currently on sale at Giant till 4/4 if I might add lol for $1.69..so you might want to go cop some) and hit the bed. I'm watching TV, Pirates of the Caribbean to be exact when my phone rings.......
It's him.....I've been doing so good not really caring about still loving him as a person and disliking what he did to me....but I'm a good person and I forgive and move on. Once you're my friend unless you kill a relative or do something horrible you'll still somewhat be my friend maybe not as much as before but you'll still somewhat have my support when going through life trauma. I just can't believe that he called, I mean I periodically check up on him..to make sure he's alive..cause war is serious and I'd hate to find out that he's dead via the news. Usually I just send a quick email or a voicemail message saying hey hope your well talk to you later or whatever...I haven't seen him face to face since Jan, right after new years. He asked how I was doing, fine of course..I asked how he was and he said that it's always about him when we talk, this time it's about me. So he asked about work, life, and love. I told him all were fine...told him that I'd been dating and what not that I had found someone. He was somewhat taken back, said he was jealous..he's been dating but no one compares to me he misses me..wants me back...wants to work on what we had and make it better. I remind him that he's said that before and right now is not the time to try and save something that has been dying over time. Matter fact somethign that is dead. I can't be mean to folks I don't know why so I tell him maybe in a different time and space we could have something better but right now I can't do that to myself...I need someone who is attentive, who is there, who is consistent...who doesn't play games. He says he's not doing that anymore going through war as matured him and caused him to open his eyes..wants to know what I would say to moving to the 757 to be with him....I can't do that...not now..not ever. I love my Hun. He's what I need and want right now...you missed out on a good thing...he says he knows and he doesn't want to let me go right now..can't get over me and how I made him feel.....wants to see me this weekend when I go home, cooke me dinner, talk face to face...he's gonna call me tonight, wants me to think about what we talked about and he'll think about what I said............
How do you tell someone who you onced loved, who your world once revolved around...that's it's over and no matter how much you might even want an inkling of it back...that it will never be the same.