Life through my eyes......
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Cause I'm on...
For some odd reason I have no clue as to what that means but I do remember BLK Butterfly saying what it means I just forgot but I crack up whenever I hear that....shoulders, chest, knees shoes..or whatever he says LOL...just wipe him down!! LOL
So on to the vacation update. Wednesday of last week I was kinda sad cause I didn't know what I was going to do for my almost week off, since I wasn't going to the DR with the girls. Me and Hun had decided to head to the parents house and hang out on Saturday but I would be home alone all weekend so of course I was trying to think of some other stuff to do. I'm at work and I get a phone call from R saying that him and some folks are going to SC and did I want to go...hmmm interesting enough. They aren't leaving till Thursday morning so I could go, the only thing is I would have to drop my sis and nephew off in Hampton right after I got off work Wed night. Lots of driving and then I would still have to come back and pack and drop roomie and the buddy off at the airport. So I went back and forth trying to decide if I was going to go, called the girls and asked them what should I do. Had to enlist the advice from the girls since R is someone who I use to mess with, but of course he wasn't the only one I knew going on the trip. But I did feel weird, and of course I had to ask Hun and see how he felt...to make a long story short...I went :)
I got off work, went home, drove to Hampton and dropped the sis and nephews off, got back to NOVA around 1am or so and while I was gone I had roomie to pack my clothes or at least pick some stuff out so that I could throw it in the suitcase. So I'm packing and showering trying to prepare myself to leave. I bum around and then take the girls to the airport, go back home, take a lil nap and then head to R's house in MD so that we can leave by 8am. While on the way there my oil light comes on, I say to myself Hmm why is this on I just got a oil change not even a month ago. So I pay it no mind sayin that I will worry about it when I get back in town on Monday. R has to drop his car off at his parents house and we have to trade in the rental truck for another one since it's messed up and in the process of us driving to his parents house my car cuts off as I'm following him down the street....I step on the gas hard enough to manuever my car to a parking lot, call him and tell him what happened, start the car back up and head to his parents house. My car cuts off like 2 more times. Finally we pop the hood and there is NO OIL in my tank. I mean none, not even on the dipstick, I call the service place, tell them what's good and to make a long story short they towed my car while I was in route to SC. My car has engine damage and they are replacing the engine since it was their fault for not putting the cap back on correctly..great.
We get to SC amid all the confusion, not leaving this area till about 10 so we were both a lil peeved off, but we were good. He's a blast to be around and I'm glad we're still friends.
So you wanna know what I did all weekend...I'm gonna be real candid since this is my spot and I say what I want. I got drunk, took in a lil herbal goods and was just nice the whole weekend LOL. So unlike the regular real Honey, but I mean hey I'm on vacation and I wanted to chillax and that's just what I did.
Some of them folks down there were a mess, I mean a HOT MESS!!! One chic we were with had on a bathing suit and she was like 350 and she wore heels..what kind of mess is that. I know her feet were hurting who does that LOL.. of course all the guys were liking her hanging out and then we went to grab some food after and she had to walk in Fuddruckers like that LOL...man I was embarassed for her, but I guess she didn't care.
Being away from the hussle of what's going on here....me and Hun getting a house, worrying about grad school and working I just needed to get away and clear the head. I will admit that hanging with drama free R was refreshing. I mean we laughed and joked the whole time, it was real chill. On top of that he's older so his whole mind set is different. It was weird being around him for that long since I use to only see him after he got off his second job which was like 1am or on the weekends. His tail can dress!!!! Man one night we went out he had on the Prada jacket (it reminds me of Pharell) and the prada shades along with the Prada cologne...straight killin em! I tell ya. He is truly a different breed of man and I found that out over the weekend. We were both like dang I never realized how cool you were and on top of that we both just had a blast being on vacation together.
I did tell Hun what I did, I was a good girl, that's all I can say about that. Me and R were talking yesterday when Hun came over I think he was jealous, but I mean hey I can't do nothing about that...do what you do. I mean when and if we move in together things are gonna change and I will admit that hanging with R had me thinking that. I talked to Hun about it but I mean hey nothing can be done now the contract has already been put on the place...great. I've always said that when I have a feeling about something I need to act on it and when I told him that of course he was like well how come you didnt' say something sooner...I was like cause I just got the feeling...great. So we're not at odds with one another, I'm just tired of thinking about it. Plus it probably doesn't help that I'm not feeling too good. Sinuses or whatever is going on in my head is not a good look right now (R got a cold and I think he gave it to me). I just wanna go to bed! I'm glad tomorrow is Friday so that I can sleep the weekend away and do some laundry.
My car is ready, they put the new engine in and I can pick it up today. I should go after work but Hun acted like he couldn't come get me from my house so I'll have to see if roomie can take me over there or whatever.
So all in all I had a blast and R wants to hang out again on a weekend trip...HMMMM I know I know I have to be a good girl...but once a good girls gone bad she's gone forever......
While I was gone why did Constant call me trying to apologize for how he "did" me when he came through. I told him to save it, actions speak louder than words and he was clear on how he felt, I'm not mad, I'm thankful. I'm good without all that drama, talking about that was out of character and I'm like well it seems like you're out of your skin all the time when do I know it's you Im talking to and not some alien...great. Save it. Talking about he trying to see what's up with me...no you ain't. You just sorry that I'm not around anymore to call you and be there like I've always been I'm no longer your umbrella..ella...ella..eh eh eh eh eh... LOL
Happy Belated BK..sorry I missed the festivities, but I'll make it up to you :)
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Got a slight cold, real sleepy since I didn't go to sleep at all while I was down there.
I went to Myrtle Beach, of course it was Bike Week down there...so you can only imagine what I did most of the time....
I'll update later...back to work I go.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
I know it's rather long but I liked it and since I wont be posting for almost a week I figured I'd leave you with something of some substance :)
So as I sit at my desk and I cheese cause today is my Friday (even though I'm not going to the DR I'm still going to the beach...any beach as long as it's not the office beach lol)!!! I think about what I have to be thankful for:
Of course life, health and strength.
A family that loves me unconditionally and with no holds bar
A God that blesses me even when I exhibit low patience
A mommie that shows me what it's like to be a strong woman and still get what you are destined to recieve
A daddy who is the epitome of the man I want to be blessed with (and I must say that Hun is that blessing)
Sisters that do get on my nerves but they teach me more and more about myself each day
Krate Digga for reminding me that this time last year was full of ups and downs...look how things are now :) thanks sir (and thank you for your IM's...cause you know I'm an IM whore LOL)
Everyone who sends me emails when I dont update alot LOL...I know I know I've been slackin on my pimpin but hey what can I say things do get hectic when you realize your an adult
My nephews who are growing each and every day. My toot (the 2 year old) told me this morning as I'm leaving for work...dont go auntie I need you LOL..I tell ya the things they say. The 1 month old is getting bigger and greedy haha
My Hun. I can't even begin to explain how he makes me see things now, he's wonderful and I pray that my parents see that when they meet him this weekend and if they dont boo to them LOL..sike let me stop. But for real even when we disagree...we disagree and move on we dont let it fester....I love him bunches :)
For the townhouse we FINALLY found!!!!! 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths and a half bath, with a nice basement and deck. WHOOOHOOOO. Now all we have to do is close on it :)
Life, love and happiness...I mean what more can a girl ask for. Even when you think life is kicking your tail you realize that sometimes you might have needed that kick in order to get to where your going.
Each of you.....I pray that you have a wonderful, safe, blessed holiday filled with laughter, fun and WONDERFUL FOOD!!! If you see me out and about slide me a hot dog (I prefer sausages but I'm trying to watch the weight LOL)
See next Wednesday!!!!!
EDIT: Kell's cd is on BET.COM I am crackin up at some of these lyrics I tell ya, this man is really serious..is he LOL....if you have time listen to it
Monday, May 21, 2007
Party like a Rockstar....
So it's monday and wednesday is my friday of the work week so I'm excited and tired all in the same breath. This weekend me and Hun are going meet the parents LOL, well at least my parents that is. Hmm we'll see I wonder how they will react to one another. Guess I'll just have to wait and see. Now Monday wouldn't be Monday if I didnt have some kind of story about my weekend soooo here we go.
Friday: I got to work early so that I could get off early to meet up with Hun to look at some places. I left work between 415 and 430...why did I get to Woodbridge at 630-645ish. I was sooooo heated. I mean traffic was everywhere even on the backroads..he was laughing at me cause I was upsept like why is there traffic I dont understand, this is killin me. So I'm upset and heated about traffic and I finally arrive at his house and he gives me a hug calms me down and I apologize for being antsy (that's why I love him so much even when I'm agitated he still makes me smile lol) So we go look at some places find three that we like and head back to his house so we can eat dinner. His roomie who is our agent had his little girl with him for the day, she's 5 now (her bday was sat) and she's a character I tell ya, there was a long discussion on yesterday about how he needs to check her when she talks to folks or that stuff is gonna get out of hand, but I mean hey if he's the only one doing the checkin she's not gonna learn cause from what I hear her mom is one heck of a character too....poor guy. Lesson learned that you need to pay attention to who you sleep with LOL..sex isn't always everything clearly. So anywho Huns roomies fam was coming to help the lil girl celebrate her bday and she was excited. He told her that she needed to take her hair out, she's knows how but she asked me LOL..I didn't mind so I did it, he says she suckered me in LOL...sure she might have but I mean it's hair. So we head upstairs after I take her hair out and eat and she is trying to tell Hun something and he's shutting the door on her and telling her to go back downstairs so he can go to bed..it was like 11 something I think..shes saying that he's lying cause he's not going to sleep and all this other stuff....great. Her cousins come and she of course wants to tell Hun that they are here but we heard her dad stop her...that little girl I tell ya.....
Saturday...we get up and head downstairs amid lots of noise as you all can imagine and Hun goes in the kitchen to fix us some oatmeal. Why did one of the little girls come in and say ya'll should have fixed me some oatmeal too I like oatmeal....me and Hun were like WHAT (as we looked at one another) who is this little girl I dont know you, I'm a stranger and you're telling me what I need to do for you. Ummm no. So he had to work and I had to get ready to go back to sleep LOL. I head home and he's off to work. I bummed around the house and was watching tv in my jammies when my cell rings...it's my sister and she's can you come get me and I'm like why....and she's like can you come and get me..mind you she's in suffolk and i'm here. So I get on the phone and call mom, dad and my other sis....my sis informs me that the parents are in a wedding...so my dad finally calls me back, my mom has already talked to my sis and they are going to pick her up which is out of their way cause they were headed to MD after they left the wedding...so she's at my house now with the boys, who by the way are getting soo big LOL. I left for work this morning and my nephew was like auntie I need you LOL...he's funny. So anywho apparently the boy who my sis was staying with hit my nephew with the door..she said it was an accident, I believe her cause when you do something to her or her kids she will straight cut you that's just how gutter she is...but apparently more was going on..I didn't ask too much I'm just glad that she's gonna be at home with my parents or at least the boys will be there.
After they got there around 8ish I get dressed to head to Love for a graduation party for a couple of friends who got their masters. Man when I say we partied we partied. I was sooo done that I threw up on the side of the road. I havent' thrown up since sophmore year of college. My shoes were off and the next morning my feet were dirty LOL. On top of that the headache I had was INSANE. My sis was like what was wrong with you when you came in you were breathing all hard LOL....probably trying to make sure I could still breathe LOL....but I had a blast, danced it up. Laughed at folks that tried to come to our party we were like we dont know you intruder intruder LOL...and you know when you drink everything is so much funnier and so much more emotional. I told my one of my homies boyfriends that he was a good guy cause he takes good care of her..they are about to move in together I told her the next day tell him that I meant that but I didnt' mean to cry LOL....I even called Hun at 4am..he laughed and tried to talk to me...then the next day was like dont drunk dial again I said sorry I will try not to then he was like nah it's ok..I said at least i called you i could have called someone else..great LOL
Sunday...after finally getting myself together and watching Shrek like 3 times with my nephew (I watched the third one on a website that someone hooked me up with..I must say I didn't really like it as much as I liked the others but oh well) and cooking dinner for the fam and roomie, getting the hair colored and retwisted (it's not a copper red color), I headed over to Huns house to hang out with him. I ended up staying over there until 430am and driving back to my house and going to sleep for another hour before I had to get up to come to work. Great. There was a long convo with his roomie about how his daughter talks to folks any kind of way and all that...then his gf got mad at this other dude that's staying with them cause she doesnt like his girl..technically shes not his girl but you get what I'm saying. She's never talked to her she just doesnt like her...and she said oh girl is rude..at first I think they were jokin then it got heated cause she had been drinking and she was screaming at him to get the F out....umm yea..I was about to go home but Hun asked me to stay so I did.....he keeps telling me he can't wait to move out LOL..great
So yea I have a house full...well a room full. They will be here till Friday so thurs we might just chill and Friday if Hun doesn't have that day off we'll bum aorund DC until he gets off then head down to the 757. Hopefully I dont fall asleep at my desk LOL
Friday, May 18, 2007
I was blasting Chris Daughtery this morning..for some odd reason I think I have a punk rocker in me...then again he's not a punk rocker I just love his music...and that guy that was on idol the other night who sings I will wait for you....umm what's his name Elliot Yamin..he can sannnnggg too.
Sorry Melinda....perhaps being more ruthless would have gotten you farther, but I will def buy your CD when it comes out..why someone called her Shrek..totally uncalled for
I was crackin up this morning listening to Russ Parr..those folks are INSANE. While they were doing the horoscope they were like if your in the club and they play toot that thing up mommie and a horrible smell comes from you, you have a problem..why Marcel was like is that doodoo LOL...they were like you are so stupid..hahha then they went on to say poop that thing up mommie LOL..I was dying in the car on the way to the metro
I am soooo tired, I've been doing OT since last week..which consists of coming in early and sometimes staying late (I like to come in early versus stay late), yea the check looks nice but when your catching up on bills your like dang everything is paid and I got $15 to last me till I get paid again LOL...oh the joys of adulthood.
Me and the Hun talk about our future kids like they are here already LOL....I told him he cant be acting like that with Ahmari in the car LOL. He is always screamin at someone about this not being London and how they should drive on their side of the road.
It amazes me how in the zone I get when I'm in a groove at work, I mean give me my work and leave me alone..I tell ya
I realize now more than ever that I want to go back to school...being someone assistant is not my calling in life and belive you me some folks are called to do it. Don't get me wrong I love my boss's but I tell ya there comes a time when I look at them like oh I'm suppose to do that LOL..great (In case your wondering what my goal is after school, I want to work in research an example of what I want to do would be working for the Govt in the Health and Human Services office as a Child Support Program Specialist. I could probably do this now before school but that whole USAJOBS website confuses me LOL)
My mommie said I dont need to buy any more shoes...EVER. LOL how dare she, however the Hun said the same thing LOL.
My daddy did a good job of picking out my moms gift she had to get the ring resized cause it was too small but it's sooo pretty and of course when I took her to get that done, I got my fingers sized just to make sure LOL (although I do have a class ring that I wear all the time so I know my size)
I sooo wanted to try rings on but I knew that I would end of flying out of that store with one on my finger LOL
I love spending time with my mommie, she's the best. Says she doesn't need anymore grandkids this soon but she knows that I'll do the right thing LOL..great.
I can't wait to see Hun later, I almost said the Hun and that made me think of Atila and the Hun LOL..great my mind is forever wandering. I haven't seen him since Monday
I just finished reading this book called Cover Girls by TD Jakes. The book is fictional but has some scripture references and it held by attention which alot of religious "fiction" doesn't do. On top of that I could relate to lots of the things the women were going through..all I have to say is women have it going on. Just when you think she's dead you realize that she's in her winter, her hibernation season and we all knows what happens after winter :) I could go on and on but I wont' then again maybe I will another day...but go get the book it's on sale at Borders for 3.99 (sad I know it's in the bargain section)..totally a good read.
I forgot how much I love doing word searches..I got a book with some in them last weekend and I did one on the train coming to work this morning....I need to do them more often..I wish I could understand Sudko, it gives me a headache though LOL
I'm looking forward to this free trip that I got...hmm me and Hun are talking about going perhaps in Aug, we'll see
We might go visit my parents next weekend, hang out at the beach....
Next week is only a 3 day work week for me..WOOHOOO. I was going to come in on Thursday but I mean hey I still get paid so I might as well stay home and sleep!!!
Ive been wanting to blog but haven't had the time or words....so I guess I'm back LOL
You have to go to YouTube and watch the person called Black Gesus perform this is why I'm black, he also has a song called throw some d's on it..it's his rendition of the song..I gurantee that you will be crying LOL and I dont mean tears of sadness
This is the season of weddings, babies and love period LOL....we all know what folks were doing during the winter hhahaha
Red (my ex from TX) sent me an email, he's getting married next summer..of course I said congrats and I wish them well...they have a lil boy. Of course he has a lil boy and he didn't even tell me when I was there but after I had gotten home and told him I didn't want to deal with him anymore LOL...anywho. He was like I wish......nooo buddy you wish nothing LOL. I'm happy leave me alone..then he goes on to say you got a man now go ahead and focus on him like you been doing, I was like thanks I am take care have a nice life..this fool talking about I guess you dont miss me..I deleted that email and kept it moving.
Postage went up..I mean dang sooner or later its gonna be easier to drive to where they are than write a letter LOL..ok maybe its not that serious yet but WOW.
I'm getting off early today to look at more townhouses with Hun and the sun is not shining outside. Something about getting off early to a bright sunny day that just does something for me :)
My mommie said my nephews are doing fine, my sis left about a week or so ago to live with her so called aunt who is her so called boyfriends mom which YES would make her related to him...we don't know whose lying my sister or the aunt..ah well as my mom would say it will all come out. But my toot was sleep and my JJ his brother is gaining weight nicely he weighs 9 lbs.
I miss them but she has to make her own decisions, good or bad. I'm just praying that nothing happens to my babies in the process.
I want all of you to have the BOMB weekend..even if you do nothing, cause that's always
Tip of the Day: If your bored at work, Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye." (LOL I thought that was funny)
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
that I haven't thrown myself or my computer out the window
that I haven't gone off on my bossess
Lord give me strength....back to work I go!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
I'm still here.
Things are going ok, if I talk to you on somewhat a regular basis you know that I'm not going to the DR and I dont' wanna talk about it LOL. So I'll be going to some beach just not that beach great. I was gonna come into work instead of keeping those days off but I decided that I need it and I'm gonna do what I want with those days even if it's just sitting at home in my pjs' watching Maury.
The weekend was cool...ended up in Bmore Friday night to party with TTD and GTL. I tell ya homie can drink LOL, she was DONE!! The spot was nice and on top of that the drinks weren't watered down and if I didn't have to drive and be to a meeting at 10am I would have been done too, next time I'm gonna get there early so I can partake in some free drinkage LOL. They had free food so I was good LOL. On top of that TTD was on the mike off and on all night it was too hilarious and GTL is deadly with the camera haha. But tell me why some girls were dancing on each other...I mean it's cool to joke around but to dance on one another in order to grab attention I mean what kind of attention do you think you're gonna get....unless your down with that, if that's the case do what you do. Me and roomie were just laughing at them. Since we had to drive back to VA and get up in the morning...we left to head back home. Stopped off and got a burger from checkers and proceeded to be a fat girl...yea I know BK I'm bad LOL. But it was sooooooooooooooooo good LOL.
Got up the next morning to go to a Black Alumni Meeting at Mason. It was a really nice turn out and I won a trip to the Jamaica and all I have to pay for is my flight to Ft. Lauderdale and the port taxes...wooohooo. When one door closes another one opens :) Didn't get out of the meeting till a lil later in the afternoon hung out with the roomie and hit up the stores..went home and cleaned my room folded some laundry. Fell asleep and the Hun came over.
Sunday we woke up and headed to his house after I showered and put some clothes on. His dad was having a cook out in MD so once he got dressed and what not we headed out there. His family is cool, makes me wonder what he's gonna say when he meets the minister LOL..that's what he calls my mom haha. We hung out all day, went to his house and bummed around till we were both knocked out, and I got up Monday and drove home to hang out with my mom for the day...since I had the day off. I couldn't hang out with her on Sunday since she was out of town and it would have been too much for me to drive from up here to SC and then back from SC up here in less than 24 hours....so I took her to breakfast and to run her errands.
So as you can see nothing much going on...still looking for townhouses....it's getting a little better. One that we saw a couple of weeks ago is now sold, I told Hun that just means that it wasn't for us. We can just keep looking, no rush in finding somewhere to live. On top of that we were riding through a neighborhood yesterday and we were looking this house and this guy thought hun was staring at him...we drive by the place after we made a uturn and he's like what the F you lookin at as we're driving past his house....Hun starts to park the car and I'm like dont..who knows what he's got and all that. He's like well why he wait till I drove by to say all that, talking about he gonna send some folks through there to break his jaw. I was like umm great it takes a bigger man not to say anything at all..and he was like well he should have known there wont' nothing to be lookin at if I'm with my girl...I mean if I was with some dudes he probably wouldn't have said nothing, but i'm with you and he wanted to feel big...great. I tell ya some men just can't leave that you stare at me we gonna fight mentality in elementary school.
It's tuesday, my monday so umm yea LOL. I'm ready for Friday. Here's a pic of me and Hun at the cookout. One of his uncles said we look alike LOL
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
So many times you realize how blessed you are to have wonderful people in your corner and you forget about yourself so I wanted to take this time to tell you that I'm so thankful for you....for who you are...for who you will become....for who you want to be and what you want to do.
I know that you sometimes feel overwhelmed by life, but dont let it get you down and forget that what you're going through provides you with strength...we all know that God doesn't put more on you than you can bear. So you must be a pretty strong person. To be honest you amaze me. I can remember when you wanted so much for others to like you when that wasn't even necessary.....if they dont' like you that's on them, not you. You're the bomb without them and no you don't have a big head you just know how wonderful you are and if they can't see that then boo to them. As Mary says in your favorite song take me as I am or have nothing at all...remember that song when you start to think you aren't good enough for someone to be friends with...who cares about them wanting to be your friend..you aint in HS no more LOL
Thank you so much for finally realizing just how special you are. I didn't think you would ever see what I see. How I love the way your eyes glow when you look at things you love...how you smile inwardly when you smell fresh cut grass in the summer. How you look in the mirror in the morning and make faces...how you sing in the shower and even how you dance when you think no one is watching. Life is about living and just being and you've finally realized it.
Thank you for realizing that love isn't all peaches and cream...that sometimes it takes tears to go through it and come out ok. He was a bum for hurting you....and he apparently didn't know what he had and wasn't ready to be with you, and yes it hurt...but you got over it. I know that you can be finicky at times LOL...but hey we all can be. You cried and moved on..realized that there must have been something so much better on the other side. I know you get tired of me trying to remind you to be positive...but believe you me I'm not shutting up so you might as well get use to it. Someone has to see the sun through the rain.
Yes you can be negative sometimes and I've even caught you being jealous, but you need to check yourself before things get out of hand. Its ok to notice what others have but you need to be thankful for what God has given you..you never know you might be stopping your own blessing cause your watching someone elses. And that is not a good thing, watch yourself from now on.
You finally opened yourself up to getting over him and look what you got. You finally stopped comparing HUN to him and look how things have blossomed. Yea I know you have your moments with doubt, but you can't let that destroy something that clearly makes you smile. I see you staring at him sometimes when he has his eyes closed....how you reach to hold his hand as you all are walking along....how you all play around just being silly. Do you know that if you hadn't let go, you wouldn't even be able to experience this right now? Believe me I know this whole living with him is scary but that's what life is about.....not being afraid to just live and experience something outside of your normal box. He's right for you....and that's that.... no if ands or buts about it. He does have his quirks but so do you..need I remind you about how bougie you can be sometimes..momma didn't raise you to be that way. You better stop before you lose him then you'd be foreced to deal nonsense again and a good thing like him doesnt' come around too often.
Thank you for finally being able to look in the mirror and love your curves. You've lost some weight and you do look pretty good...but don't get caught up in trying to be what society claims to be beautiful. I personally love your thighs and butt LOL...but that's just me. Do what you have to do to tone up but don't get caught up in the hype of weighing what they claim to be right for you.....you know what feels right and what makes you look like a crackhead. And we can't have that now can we. How you look makes you who you are...realize that and accept it, what does society know anyway..they think Paris Hilton is HOT LOL...and she's clearly not :)
I know that you cry sometimes because you just feel like things aren't going right, but I hope you understand that things have to go this way in order for the future to be the way that it will be. It's ok to cry, but don't get to the point where you can't see the good that comes out of those tears..that you cant see how much better you feel once you have cried...don't cry so much that you aren't ever happy....because you have so much to be happy for...a family that cares for you, that loves you, friends who are more than friends...they are another extension of family...you are more than blessed...in fact too blessed to be stressed too anointed to be disappointed. Learn that your tears are cleansing you and allowing you to progress....don't discourage them from falling accept them and what they stand for
I know you get discouraged that your relationship with God isn't where you want it to be...but he knows your heart..he knows you are striving to do better. Just work a little harder on the things that you can do better at...recognize your faults and work to better yourself...that's all he asks...accept who you are and don't try to be someone that you aren't. He created you wonderfully, why would you want to change that?
Thank you for being such a wonderful friend, even to those that don't deserve it. Many people aren't blessed to have a person like you in their life...someone who will give of themselves and dont think twice. Yes some folks take it for granted and believe that you are weak, but hey they will get what they got coming to em. Just keeping being who God created you to be and doing you...
Just wanted you to know that I think your wonderful Honey, you are beautiful and if you ever stop thinking that I will personally meet you in a dark alley somewhere and open up a can of whoop tail on ya :)
I see you, I understand you...I love you...because I am you
Monday, May 07, 2007
First let me start off by saying I'm tired..then again what's new. It seems like since they know I'm leaving at the end of the month for vacay I have to work double time. Which is somewhat good cause I've been sayin I need some OT to get that camera I want and to pay some stuff off...so no complaining just tired.
The weekend was good, hung out on Saturday during the day with the Hun looking at townhouse and then Sat night went to Lucky Strike with the girls for the roomies bday. It was nice hanging out and catching up with them since we live sorta far from one another. After we hung out at Strike we headed down to U street since it was Cinco de Mayo to get some margaritas and stuff....danced to a lil music, sipped on some drinks and headed on home. I had to be to work on Sunday morning (good ole OT) so I was TIRED!!! Got up and made it to work at a lil after 8am and left at 130pm to go look at more houses with the Hun.
Before we even went to look at houses we had a discussion the other day about what kind of mortgage we could afford..yea we had this convo before started looking but once you look and see stuff you like you of course have to re-evaluate. So we're talking and of course when we first started this whole process I was like ohh I like this and I like that, and that one is ugly blah blah blah. He was more like well this isn't going to be the only house we live in, so it doesn't have to be huge and all this....I began to understand that. So we took another stab at looking and narrowed it down some more. I meet up with him yesterday and he is getting his roommate who is our agent to create another list and I'm like why..we don't need to look at 10 more houses let's just go with the 6 we got and narrow them from there....he keeps rambling on and on about how one house is 299,00...I mean yea but we can talk them down (we all know it's a buyers market). So I leave the room cause I felt myself getting agitated and I didn't want to cause a scene. I hate talking about stuff over and over...when I say I got it, I got it. If I'm confused and I ask about it..we can talk about it till I understand but once I say ok, then ok leave it alone. Man he kept going on and on about how our mortgage would be high if we got this and this..and I'm like what you don't understand is that we can talk them DOWN. He's like well if we get something that's 275 and talk them down that would be better...ok it would but the 275 ones have been lookin like a plumbers buttcrack...NASTY!
After the lil excursion and going through moments of silence since we were both frustrated...we talked and came to understand that we only seem to have "discussions" when we're talking about the house..great. I guess that's a good thing cause this is a huge thing, something that will affect us for the next 3-5 years. I mean we should talk about it till its dead so we'll know what we're getting ourselves into. We need to feel 200% sure about this decision, we're not in a rush and I want him to understand that...and he wants me to understand that our mortagage shouldn't be high. I get it....I got it.....good. I love the fact that he's concerned about what I want, and how far my commute would be but I can get up a lil earlier that won't kill me.
I guess once again this whole being in a relationship thing has been learning more and more about myself. I'm soo use to doing what I want, when I want and creating my own way..that now I'm like man am I really that bougie LOL. Do I really whine that much, man I tell ya. He has some good points and he admitted that so do I and we've agreed on our number once choice based on what our expenses would be like monthly for the house and hopefully we'll submit a contract on it.
So this weekend was all about compromise....he gave a lil and so did I. I told him that we have to get use to us not being all smiles all the time....I mean we're not perfect. He does stuff that annoys me and I do stuff that annoys him.....lets hope I dont hurt him though before we find a place LOL
On top of that I went to the ATM to get some cash out and my card expired I was HOT!! Come to find out they sent it to my 757 address and my mom forgot to send it to me..so I was driving around on $3 worth of gas which is nothing and the Hun put some in the car. I was too done cause I drove right by the bank that Sat morning and could have stopped in to get some out....and after the whole arguing with him I know I wasn't good company. He was probably what is wrong with her LOL. At one point I was just like why dont you get a place by yourself he was like are you serious and I just stared out the window....then he smiles and I can't help but not be frustrated. Thats the funny part..I could be pissed off or at least want to be pissed off and he will do something...like he did yesterday by cooking dinner that makes me love him even more.
I guess you noticed I didn't post this morning..I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to finish some work. It's necessary to make that money now LOL....which reminds me that I saw SHAFT this weekend LOL..it's my duty to please that booty AHHH LOL I was dead when I heard that LOL..you could have bought me for a dollar...I wonder who made that up..does it even make sense.....just like that buy you a drink song which I love but I mean would you really just buy me one drink and think I would go home with you...I need more than one and preferably some food to go with it LOL
I hate the fact that the camera I want isn't available everywhere....if the place in the 757 doesn't have it I have to order it online and the bad part is I have to wait till Friday to see if they are gonna get some in...great. It's a blue Sony Cyber shot...they have it in pink everywhere but I don't want pink I want blue bad part is the pink one also can come with additional stuff like a carrying case and a memory stick..too bad I dont' like pink like that...and yes I checked at the sony store I even went so far as to see if they had them at the circuit city in arundel mills..not a chance..great. So hopefully there will be one left on Friday for me to pick up on Sat once I hit the 757 cause I want to break it in before I go on vacay.
I still have to buy a suitcase and I'm contemplating a bathing suit, we'll see what I find this weekend while I'm in SC with the fam for mothers day.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Count it all Joy....
Counting it all joy because......
God has once again allowed me to be here in my own skin with everything working like it should :)
He's always allowing things to work out even when I don't know what the heck is going on...cause what's for me is for me :)
My sister is finally happy at her job, she's such a blessing to everyone and I'm glad she's happy
My baby sister is coming to spend a weekend with me, hopefully I'll get a chance to pound some sense into her (not literally although that might work lol)
I talked to my toot yesterday and he always makes me wanna cry when he says he loves me, he informed me that we're having cake and ice cream for his bday (June 29th lol)..he said I was coming to see him...and he's right I'll be there next weekend, funny how much I love that little one. I asked him where his little brother was and he said in his bed hahaha
I informed my mom of a situation that occurred and she said she was proud of me..I'm growing up :)
I know where I went wrong with my eating (it was that time of the month what can i say) so next time it comes around I know better LOL
I can jam at my desk, and I do mean jam...if I was alone I would be singing out loud
I have the opportunity to do some community service on sat...i miss that about college being out and about in the community.
My Hun smiled and hugged me when I told him how he makes me smile...and he does. I can just look at him and begin to cheese..he of course thinks that I'm plotting lol. A lady at his job asked him if he was going to marry me and he said I can see myself marrying her...we both want to make sure we're ready in every sense of the word..cause I don't plan on getting divorced LOL
He has informed me that I can't talk to our kids in a baby voice....great. I proceeded to inform him that I do what I want LOL
Pandora Radio...sometimes I don't wanna listen to my mp3 so this works
The wonderful weather that has been happening allllll week :) and ya know I gots the toes out haha
I saw some man checking me out....awww he made me feel cute, although he was kinda old.
I realize how blessed I am, things could be so much worse.
Constant thinks that I continue to care and I don't LOL....I am not at all phased by your tactics and that my friend is a good thing :)
Just when you think you're all alone and no one is there...God pops up and does something so awesome that you are just amazed at how truly awesome he is
For all my physical and virtual sistas...ya'll are the BOMB!!! We seriously need to hang out (and you know who you are!!!!, stop looking around wondering if I'm talking to you lol)
I've wanted some OT so I can get that camera I wanted and the boss asked me to come in early on Thurs and Fri (she knows that I like coming in early versus staying late)...wohooo do that God..he always looks out
He and I are on the same mind path as far as this house thing...we don't want to rush it, therefore creating debt and if we find a place that's for us, then cool but if not we're not just gonna live in any old thing just because it's a buyers market now...he is paying attention to things that I like as far as a house goes awwww I need that walk in closet LOL
Because each of you decided to come by again...you'll never know how much your comments and thoughts make me laugh and think...I appreciate you so much :)
Today is gonna be a good day!
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
I want to cry because I feel as if life is constantly beating me up
I think that I am so much weaker than others think
I want to tell him that I can see him being my first last kiss
I want him to understand that he pisses me the heck off
I realize that I probably piss him off too
I need to just shut up
I wonder if this is gonna last..and if it doesn't can I deal with that
I smile just thinking about how hes changed my life since appearing
I want to be so much stronger than I am
I want to take your pain away and I can't
I wanna make things better for you and I can't, you have to do that on your own
I don't think you understand just how beautiful and wonderful you are....
I wonder where I'll be in 2 years
I think of about what kind of mommy I'd be...I can only pray that I'm like my mommy
Doubt creeps in about you and me....I try to remind myself that I'm happy and that counts for something
When you make me mad I think of stepping back from you...but that would mean I have a false sense of what a relationship is, it's not all peaches and cream
I wonder what it would be like to wake up to you each morning in your arms.....coming home to you each night.....will I get sick of you lol
It cracks me up when I realize how silly we can be....I love seeing laughter in your eyes as I try to lick you on your face LOL
I see our children in your eyes and I wonder who they will look and act like
I wonder what I'll look like when I'm pregnant..what I'll crave..and if you'll paint my toes....yea I'm weird
I think I think too much.....I know you'd agree...you'd probably also say that I talk too much :)
I wonder how God knows just what to do and when to do it....he's a hard act to follow
I think that you really do recieve what you put out into the universe...and sometimes I don't lol
I wonder how someone like Ne-yo could be blessed with such musical talent yet look so questionably weird LOL
As I'm working or not working throughout the day each of you crosses my mind and I wonder if you're ok, if life is treating you kind or unkindly and I say a prayer....that you are traveling safely, that your wedding was beautiful (hey gurl!!), that the new found love your experiencing is all that you dreamed it would be and more.....or that the love that is coming your way finds you when you least expect it (cause it's always better that way). I hope that the goals your reaching and accomplishing are coming along fine and if they aren't it means that something bigger and better is on the horizon, I pray that your move goes smoothly (BlkBFLY) and that you enjoy each day as it comes to you.
Sometimes.......I realize just how much I love writing.