Life through my eyes......

The roomie and I were bored so we decided that we would hit up H2O that night since it was suppose to the New Edition concert after party and the album release party for Ralph. I love when it's nice in DC cause people come out and they are dressed...well some of them. Now why would you let your friend go out looking a mess when you look somewhat presentable....people wearing jeans with no belt loops and their belly hanging over doesn't make sense...that is not CUTE!!! I mean I saw so many people looking aight and then you look at their friend and you be like dang, did you let your friend come out looking a mess cause you wanted all the attention. Tell me why we were standing in line and this homeless man comes up with a boombox and starts gettin it. I mean he was droppin it like it was on fire, dippin it low and pickin it up real slow....people were giving him money...not me, I ain't given no money to no male dance unless some clothes are coming off.....LOL. Then again in his case I don't think I would have wanted anything to come off.

So we get there thinking that we have to pay and we didn't, which meant that we could get some extra drink lol and on top of that wine was free till like 11 which was great cause you know wine creeps up on ya. There was so many people there. So I had a couple of glasses of wine and a Tom Collins along with a sip of something called a Whiskey Sour which was actually pretty good. So yea by the end of the night I was feeling real nice not drunk and not too not drunk.

Now tell me why we go into the room that I call the ugly room, it's the room that is in the front of the club and the last room of the club if you start off in the reggae room. I only call it the ugly room cause near the end of the night it seems that there are so many unattractive people in that room and for some odd reason it seems a lot more darker than the other rooms (yea I know the whole club is dark LOL) and overly obese people tend to be in there and I'm a thick sista but I get scared when I'm around that many people and half of them are big nasty and I don't mean big and cute like Monique or Shaq build I'm talking bout wearing a smedium shirt and you wear a 5XX. Come on now, I've dated a big dude and you can be big and confident without looking crazy, anyway needlesstosay being in that room makes me feel like I'm in the bank on the 1st or at the commissary on the 15th of the month...people are everywhere. But anyway roomie wanted to go in there and I was like nooo I don't wanna go in the ugly room and she starts laughing but guess who I see looking all delicious in a button down with a brown sweater on, nurse dude (he is a cutie, lol)....I had sent him a message earlier and he said he didn't get it...I ain't sweating it, it is what it is. He paid me a compliment (I had on some black gauchos, with a black shirt that was somewhat cut up in the front and silver accessories) and I paid him a couple (man those lips can kill lol) We said what up and he introduced me and the roomie to his friends and we went on about our way, but of course that wasn't the last time that I would see him. I heard Bobby was aight performing, he sang Tenderoni, and the whole crowd was hype..I was looking for wiggie(whitney) but I gues she let him perform and travel alone this time. So anyway me and roomie chilling, drinking and dancing and we see the roomies ex boyfriends friends. Now I had a lil crush on the roomies boyfriends' boy named B, but he was lil and when I have heels on I'm taller than him, however this wasn't reciprocated so I moved on. Tell me why last night he was all up on me and asking me if I was gonna dance with him or not..so I gave him a lil taste and kept it moving. Then they played a sequence of slow jams and guess who I danced with through all of them.....nurse dude and he brought me flowers. Man he was killing in with his button down shirt and sweater and matching shoes, I love a man that can dress nice, it's so atractive.

EDIT: He later told me that while we were dancing dudes was looking at us, so he kept grabbin my butt to give them something to look at. Talking about yea that's mine..I was like umm not for real. I then told him that roomie saw some ugly chic trying to talk to him I told him and he was like what do I care, my baby was there. I was like boo you ain't gotta say that to get cool points and he said he wasn't.....personally he already has enough but I'm not gonna tell him that (then again he might already know). He kept telling me how cute I looked and how he loves my smile and he missed me (before that night we hadn't seen one another for our normal date day..so it's been about a week and some change) I told him that I had fun, asked him if he had fun and how he kept saying dudes were tryin to push up on me and roomie (we didn't know we were just drinking and dancing lol)

Him and his boy were suppose to come over and hang after that but me and the roomie grabbed some food from the diner down the street..a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich can be the best thing at 3am. And him and his boy went home and was knocked out....why his boy had on some Prada shoes talking about his feet hurt, I was cracking up. I've never really heard a guy say his feet hurt. I tell ya it's funny how we kill ourselves lookin fly LOL My feet were killing me....man even my toenails were hurting, of course they feel better now lol

Anyway.....yes he came over on Sunday. We played with the dog, watched some basketball, and in the words of one of my favorite bloggers (a diva in scrubs) we had grown up naked fun LOL.....and let me just say that the brother was WONDERFUL with all CAPS!!!! Man....that's all I can say about that right now, but just know that a sista was knocked out after he left. After that was over we took a bath together (he even washed my back, and played in my hair awww), and just talked about stuff and then I cooked dinner, we have plans to hang out later this week cause he wants to hook my roomie up with his roomie (sad but I hate when dudes do that lol, but roomie thinks his roomie is cute and I'm staying out of it) and if not he will be here on Sunday for the roomies (24th) bday cookout. I'm really diggin him and I've told him not that I'm really digging him, but just that I'm digging him and how we both hoped we could spend more time together, he agreed we shall see what occurs.

On a side note me and the roomie tried to cut Giz's toenails..why this sucka's nail starting bleeding it scared me so bad and scared him that he peed like 3 times like it won't nothing, poor lil baby I couldn't even be mad it was traumatic LOL. Man I will have to take him to a groomer to make sure that it's cut right and plus his hair is getting long, he is just fine now, I think he was just a lil shook up.

How was your weekend..then again I'll probably be stopping by to read them...have a wonderful monday!!!!

posted @10:53pm

Why am I sick and tired of being sick and tired?

What am I going to do about it?

What the heck would you send me an email when you know you've messed up?

I'm trying to get over you, not dwell on you....

I am so ready to go home it's not even funny

Am I gonna see nurse dude this weekend (he is a cutie)

You didn't even tell me you were leaving to go out to sea, how inconsiderate

Am I really done this time

Why do I feel like crying

Does he think about me like I try not to think about him

How come people are so complicated

Why the heck does this lady in my office put herself into every conversation around her....and why does she eat so much butter...ewwww

I should go hear my mommie preach on Sunday but gas is high..and it's almost 3 hours away

My roomie is really stuck on her stupid boyfriend

I don't like him..he made my dog cry (well whimper)

Don't email me tryin to be nice now..the damage has been done...you freakin loser

I can't believe this crap..........

Sometimes friends can be so annoying

I need to buy my nephew and god daughter some summer clothes

I'm full, I don't think I can eat dinner tonight

I need to buy Gizmo a new cage because sooner or later he is going to figure out how to jump over the door.


I try not to over analyze but I can't help it, it's who I am

Can't wait till my hair gets longer then again these lil curles are jazzy (smile)

I can't wait to go to Myrtle Beach

Should I buy a bathing suit for my mini vacation, I already have like 4 lol...one more wouldn't hurt plus I should buy a new one every year

I don't need anymore shoes...for real this time

What am I going to do this weekend

posted @ 4:16pm

....stuff has gone on since I last wrote that it's insane.

First of all I went home for Easter to chill with the fam and yes I saw Constant...I'm not gonna talk about it I'll talk about it another time. So I had that Friday off cause I had a doctors apt and had to get the car looked at. While leaving the doctors office my boss calls and was like I have some good news and bad news. I was like oh goodness....so she was like the bad news is that my other boss's grandmother died (aww and he just saw her last week, which was nice) the good news is that she was resigning from where I work at. To make a long story short I have a new job....with her just at a different place. Yes all of this happened in less than a week and it was sooo crazy, very unexpected.

Hmm, what else. I am still hanging out with the nurse dude...he brought me roses for Easter and we hung out in DC walking around the monuments which was very nice. I don't get a chance to do that too often. Came back to the house and played with the dog and what not then he left cause he had to help a friend with some work. I'm not even gonna say what or how i feel about him at this point cause it's too early and i just like hanging out with him.

Constant as stated earlier is a whole nother story......

the new job is great, i have more space and new desk. Sad to say that I can't get on yahoo or dang on blogger cause they have a specific clause in their internet policy about dang on blogging....so darn I have to update on the weekends..but you bet I'm reading your blogs so make sure you keep me updated!! Or there will be consequences and repercussions!

Well if I think of more I'll come back but till then....LATA

EDIT

Ok so I lied I can't only update on the weekends...I'm addicted...shoot me.

Aight so let me fill my buddy epsilonicus (I always have to write your name first to make sure I spell it right lol) on nurse dude. I went out about a month or so ago with some of the girls and yes I had some drinks but that didn't stop me from noticing how cute he was LOL...so anyway I gave him my number he came over the next day..we chatted, watched movies and all that and have been chilling every weekend since then. He's nice, I like him but it is what it is..meaning I'm not rushing into anything especially with the nonsense and uncertainty that Constant brought into my life.

Now on to Constant..you know I was gonna talk about him sooner or later..lol got to get it out of my system. So I saw him Easter weekend and we didn't talk about much cause I was tired and what not so I just went to sleep I did fuss at him about his speeding cause it bothers the heck out of me plus I told him he was putting my life in danger.....anywho.....he was suppose to come up to visit unexpectedly sat night. He said he was leaving around 10 which would put him at my house a lil after 12 or at the latest 1am. I called him around 1230 to see where he was...no answer and I didn't leave a message.....then I called around 2 and I left a message....this negro calls back and was like "Man....." I was like what.....well on my way there I got pulled over by the cops...My first thought is oh Lord he in jail...lol...so I was like are you ok, you need me....he was like nah you know my car is messed up and they said I can't drive it at night (he got into an accident, and the lights are out) I was like umm ok how come you didn't call me.....cause I was blown man I was like ok, you were shocked but didn't you think to call me cause you knew I would be worried....I'm sorry....that's all you have to say is what I said....man I was blown I was like you know what that was sooo inconsiderate...I mean I'm sorry (yes that's what he kept saying) I was like you know what whatever...he was like well I'm bout to ummm (I guess he was saying go to sleep) I was like yea aight whatever bye.......

I am so TIRED of that....so that's that! Until he gets himself together I'm not calling him, no emailing him and he can forget even getting a bday gift, ecard, smoke signal, or text message......freakin' loser.

Hmm whatelse....went to church yesterday and why when you are trying to pay attention does the Devil distract you lol..this is what I saw:

A lady who looked like Macy Gray with a wig that looked like a mop on her head

People with black stockings on and white shoes....WOW

Kids who had on white stocking with colored platform shoes..umm what the heck

Woman with a blond wig and she knew she ain't look right.

Eddie Cain from the 5 heartbeats on the organ....he had the shades and earring to prove it..lol

Man I tell ya..I was cracking up (on the inside that is)

Went to a baseball game with some of the coworkers last night...the Nationals played the Braves.....it was nice, not my first Nationals game but I'd go again....despite it being sooo cold outside and that lemonade they serve there aint' nothing but the truth lol.....so it's Monday and as you can see or tell I'm already looking forward to friday lol

p.s. why have I been trying to update since this morning..I'll do it when I get home...freaking computer!!!

posted@7:19pm (sat) and 9:34am (mon)

WOW!! To say that I missed blogging would be somewhat of an understatement, and yes I was still reading others blogs and commenting (so what) lol.

So what did I learn in my time away...lol. Not a dang on thing other than I need to write it helps me deal with things and I'm better at dealing with things when I write about them. Well that's not all the truth I also learned that I'm confused.

Now this might be a long one but oh well if you dont' want to read it don't..or read some now and come back later (smile).

When I say I'm confused I'm talking about this whole Constant issue....that's one of the main reasons that I took a break from blogging. I felt like I was talking about him too much, which could be seen as a good thing or a bad thing..it means I do care about him to a certain extent. So for the last 3 weeks he's been out to sea (which they do every month so of course our time together is scarce) and he'll be back on Friday...I'm going home this weekend so hopefully we'll get to have a much needed face to face to get some of this out of the way. I've realized that I do care for him and if I truly care like I do....I wouldn't be talking to and dating other guys and making excuses for why I do this. Point, blank period. That's the issue and I'm dealing with it.

I say that if he spent more time with me I wouldn't need to talk to other guys...ok, so what. The fact of the matter is if he could then he probably would (now I'm assuming I could be wrong)....I'd get mad if I found out he was talking to other females the way I talk to other males....so I had a nice long conversation with myself and I said "Honey, you need to stop playing games", you're the main one that is always saying I want someone real who knows what they want and isn't about stringing people along.....it's time for you to be what you say you are and stop faking.......so as of this moment I've deleted numbers out the phone and I'm focusing on the fact that come rain come shine, long hair, short hair, dressed up or dressed down.....Constant has been in my life for 3 years and that says alot....the fact that although we have issues I or he haven't cut the other off.....cause I do that with the quickness (I will change my number and everything if I even feel like I'm tempted to talk to someone who I dislike..especially if I'm bored)

So confusion and drama will no longer play a part in my life at least if I have anything to do with it. I can't say I love someone and want to be with them and turn around and continue to date..what the heck does that say......that I have some lose nuts lol....and trust me I'll admit I have issues but not that many. So I'm admitting my issues (which is the first step), facing them and handling them grown woman style. I'm too old to be saying one thing one minute and acting another way the next......

I had a conversation with a platonic guy friend (yes those exist, lol) and he say you know what....Constant is the only guy you talk about all the time. He said ok, you be talking about other dudes but I can tell you really care about him and if you do why not stop talking to the others and if you don't care about him (I say that periodically lol, it's the emotional part of who I am) then why keep talking about it.....deal with it or move on. I was like dang...then he said what he do sweep you off your feet and I was like...ummm I dont' know what it is about him but I do now that what attracted me to him other than his lips and height was the fact that he is sooo stress free and nonchalant and now it's starting to get on my nerves especially when it comes to us discussing how we feel about one another (You know I care about you but I can't think about the future, blah blah blah) yea that's part of my issue.

How can you discuss what having a child would be like with someone but not talk about marriage...and then my friend said well maybe what you want right now is not what he wants right now (good point) he may want to be with you, but not like you want to be with him (huh) I was like ok, well what's up with the confusion statements (Kids with you would be great, I can't think about the future right now....umm kids are the future...thank you Whitney) Part of my confusion is his fault lol (there I go playing the blame game). But seriously, I'm good now the break did me some good although I did miss blogging...it's become a part of my healing sessions (Have I been listening to Oprah too much) and this weekend when and if (i hate the if) we are going to have a real talk (not a 5 min convo, I mean a real one, where somethings either come together or are ended) He sent me an email saying he would let me know when he got back they were going through a mine field (very dangerous) and that if this was the end (umm ekkk) he missed me and loved me (umm ok). It took a fear of you dying to tell me that you love me (nice) but still, I mean dang and what if he comes back and says well I thought I was dying it was the right thing to say..or I said that (yea he's said stuff before and been like huh I said that)......ah well I can't continue to worry over it....God knows the outcome and I have to pray and have faith that the best will come out of the situation.

I've also come to the realization that I have a shoe addiction!!! How can this be, oh noooo. Nah but for real I seriously need to get a grip on my shoe shopping. I bought these cute shoes from Hechts (Valerie Stevens) they were originally $100.00 why were they on sale for $10 and why did I get three pair LOL....black, white and silver.....and on top of that I bought some cute lil flats from payless and some lace up shoes (kida like diesels) to wear when I go to bike week....I've also bought some green heels that I'm gonna wear on Easter Sunday...have to find a suit...so you see...yes, I Honey Libra am addicted to shoes...where's the closest SSA (Shoe Shoppers Anonymous) meeting. When I get married me and my husband are seriously not going to be able to share a closet unless it's huge and of course that might be too huge......lol

I have tomorrow off.....YES!!! I was going to get my oil changed tomorrow morning and then hit the road to go home (757) and spend the weekend with the fam. But now I can't leave till afternoon cause I have a dr's appt at 1:45..I mean dang LOL..so I'm gonna see if they have cancellations so I can go in earlier. My sisters haven't seen the dog yet (he has his first vet appt on Monday) so they are all excited, we've always wanted one and I said when i moved out I was gonna get one so I guess you can say they are living through me lol. I was going to Kings Dominion on Sat but who knows my friends dad got sick so we have to reschedule but I found out they left their dad cause he was doing better and we might still be able to go..YES!!!

I'm going to Bike Week for Memorial Day..I went last year so I know what to expect. I'm excited though cause we're staying were I wanted us to stay last year but it was booked and it's not this year...the hotel is right on the strip which is great cause last year we had to walk from like 52nd street to 20th something.....ok, we didn't have to walk that everyday we got bike rides...but I mean the possibility was annoying...anyway I look forward to some fun in the sun, including a ride or two

I have an appt with the academic couselor at the school I plan on obtaining my paralegal certificate from...I was procrastinating on that.....another reason why I put the blog on pause. So I can finally register for class and get some things done that I've been saying I'm going to do for so long.

So as you can see I'm dealing with what's wrong with me (we all have issues), judge me if you like (it's human nature), but the fact of the matter is you can say what you want and I will take the good with the bad, but I'm focusing on the good from now on. Those who are negative all the time dont' get very far.

Have a great weekend

posted@10:01am

Before I get to my tag..I think I'm gonna take a break from blogging....lots of things going on in my head and I don't want to keep writing about the same thing over and over although it might help me deal with it..so I've opted to take a lil hiatus. Maybe a couple of days who knows....I like blogging it's just causing me to recognize lots of things and let's just say I'm dealing with em

On to the post:

I was tagged so here goes

1. Personality...when we are old and decrepit I don't want to look at your face and want to kill myself..plain and simple

2. Goal oriented.....even if you work at McDonalds....I'm gonna need you to want to own one

3. Love kids...I want lots (not naturally of course lol, maybe 3 naturally) so he can't be scurred of the kids

4. Passionate...in and out of the bedroom. If he wants to fight for something he believes in then more power to him, I don't have to agree but knowing that he has some sort of opinion would be great

5. Understand me....I'm shy, loud, cranky and can sometimes act like I'm spoiled(when I'm not)....as I would take the good with the bad so should he

6. Make me laugh.....when I'm my maddest at him or at life he should be able to just look at me and cause my whole demeanor to change

7. Sincerity....you ain't got to lie to kick it....if you think the outfit I have on doesn't show off my assets correctly, put in a nice way and I'll change but don't butter me up...and I know it..I hate that

8. Challenge me...cause me to think outside of what I know and do (I don't watch too much football but I would watch it with my baby if he took the time to explain to me what's going on)

9. Communication.....very, very important. When we have a "discussion" he shouldn't want to run and hide out till it's over he should want to face the music..good or bad and know that we can work it out if we communicate correctly

10. Love me...unconditionally....good, bad, ugly, rain, shine, bad hair day, added weight, sagging boobs, stank breath, stubborness, bossiness..all of it cause it's what makes me me (most of the time lol)


In case you didn't nice my attributes pertain to a MAN!!

Sidenote: As I write this I'm thinking of my Constant..which makes me mad cause I'm tryin not to entertain him right now....ah well (the emotional rollercoaster that we women go through when we love)

I'm tagging the first 8 people who read this.....

Randomness:
The dude from 112 (Daron Jones) has a song called Dance for me...umm didn't 112 already do that song? Ah well the beat is hot...kinda

posted@9:50am

....ok, ok for all you people that will leave comments in my section about Mason losing..you can kick rocks or go play in rush hour traffic lol...I could care less that we lost..granted campus was sooo off the chain that if we won people might have rioted lol. Mason students have always had school spirit but this weekend was madness, insanity I tell you pure insanity. So anyway I said weeks ago that even if we didn't make it past the Final Four..I was proud of them cause no one thought we would even make it there....and even though "the clock struck midnight", we wore the shoe well while we had it on.....now they can use what they learned this season going into next years and others who don't know us know us now and they won't underestimate the underdog again (smile) now enough on that.

Friday: Got off work kinda early and went home and walked Giz. Met one of the girls and we hit up the shoe store cause we were going out later that night. Met up with the roomie after that and went home to get changed up. Headed into DC to go to a bday party at Ozio. Man that place is packed and it's a nice Friday spot to go to, my roomies boss owns that spot and even though he wasn't there we didn't have to pay (and I think there was a cover) we just walked in the door and went upstairs. Man I had this Ole Blue Eyes martini..that thing was good!!!! That's gonna be my drink of choice when I go there. I had a glass of wine and some sips of my girls drinks (we tend to do that lol). So we partied and chilled out, it got hot in there so hot that my girl got overheated and we ended up leaving to go to another party that we got invited to at the EyeBar.....that's another hot spot that I recommend on a Friday night. The crowd was mostly asian and white and there were a few sprinkles of pepper (lol)..but in the words of my roomie...I didn't know those people had rhythm lol....needlesstosay we had some shooters in there and I had a vodka and red bull so I was a lil nice..not drunk but nice. Got a free Hyptoniq tank top and a lil drink book....I'm def gonna have to try some of them. After all that we ended up going to this diner down the street from home and ate and had a slumber party in the living room. Somewhere between all that I got hoarse.

Saturday: Didn't really get going till about 1 or so lol that's cause we were all knocked out. But I got up early to walk Giz and let him out his lil pin...so he was roaming around while we were sleep and a couple of times he decided to wake me up by licking my face...ewww nasty!! I dont' generally let him do that to me lol....he licks his balls I mean gross lol..but that's my baby and he's soo cute lol. We got dressed and I ran to the mall to find a shirt to wear when we went out later to H2O. Got home and me and the roomie met up with friends to watch the game....ended up at Buffalo Wing University...man that place was packed beyond packed and we went to campus and watched the game in the cinema. I was soo hype that even though I was sad that we lost I was sooo proud of them for allowing the nation to recognize who we were and that we are the largest public university in VA.....admissions is gonna have a ball come Fall (LOL)....so after we bowed out gracefully....me, the roomie and Tash headed to H2O. I had 2 Tom Collins (emm so good), a cosmo and some Zombie. So yea good thing I didn't have to drive cause I was so nice I had to get up and dance so I didn't fall asleep when a song came on that I didn't like. I knew I was nice when I noticed that I was dancing more than my roomie. She was like dang Honey...you are crazy and we saw this girl who looked like she took her table cloth off to make a two piece outfit..it was too funny. I burned off some calories that night. Saw someone I use to talk to and caught up with them, which was nice..tried to remember why we stopped talking lol...isn't it funny how you do that. Stop talking to someone then see them later and wonder why you don't talk to them anymore..hmmm.....anywho. So yea got some dancing in and some drinking in and as my friend would call it pimpin in lol...I'm not a pimp trust me, far from it. Met this guy nurse he was a cutie..said I had exotic hair lol....I was like umm ok, great. Talking about I hope I get to know you long enough to see it grow longer....kept saying how my lips look soft and all that jazz. Come to find out he lived in Hpt for the last 5 years and his uncle actually lives like down the street from me..he just moved to MD in Oct...what a small world.

Sunday: Was knocked out, played around with Giz. Talked on the phone to the nurse dude. Sidenote: Aight so I know what I said about how I feel about Constant...however at this present moment I created this blog to be honest about how I deal with things...so I don't care what you think or say about me (lol)...it is what it is. Come to find out we have lots in common. He was in the military..the navy to be exact and yes..I told him about Constant...so it's not like I was hiding anything. He asked me if I thought Constant was cheating and I said if he was then he is doing a good job of it and what not. He said that he knows first had how those things go and all that. We just had a nice conversation and he ended up coming to chill with me and roomie....played with Giz and walked with me while I walked him. Talked about him being a nurse, interesting and how we both deal with the opposite sex. It was really nice we watched the Flava of Love reunion..too funny. He left since he had to be up early and gave me a kiss good night on the cheek...so yea..do I feel bad....honestly...no. Constant and I had have conversations about what's really going on with us and I told him that his idea of a relationship isn't one....so once again we're back to square one....just when I think we're past it, he puts us right back there. And I can do bad all by myself...so great. I love him dearly but I'm too old to be tryin to play them high school games where I have to ask if we are together or not or I have to think if we are together. I guess he got mad after the email responses I sent him...he acting like nothing is wrong talking about when he comes to visit it's so late that all we can do is sleep...umm boo you come late cause you want to. You dont' have to see every single one of your boys when you come home....so until he makes time for me....I'll be chilling.

I bought T.I.'s Cd..and I must say that yes I'm feeling it, listening to it now. I think one of my favorites would have to be of course # 6 (Ride with me) and #8 (Why you wanna). So as you can see my weekend was pretty eventful...what about you? Then again guess I can just stop by your blogs to find out lol.

posted @ 10:01am