Life through my eyes......

Let me first start by saying this weekend opened my eyes up to a lot of things. I'm going to start listening to my subconscience more often cause apparently it knows what it's talking about. First I'm gonna let ya know what I did this weekend..then I'm gonna answer the questions that were in my comment section...

Friday: After work didn't do too much just chilled around the house and was in the bed early since I was going to visit my cousin in Glen Burnie in the morning.

Saturday: Spent most of the day in Glen Burnie with my cousin who just had a cute lil boy his name is Maximus. He is soooo cute. His skin, I promise, is like the color of warm butter and it's soo clear no lil bumps or nothing. I know I held him for about an hour or so while he was sleep and he finally opened his eyes when I was about to leave of course. Me and the cuz (since she can't really do much, she had a c-section) talked a bit. Since she married into my family this was a real bonding experience and she gave me some sound advice or some issues I was dealing with and we also watched Batman Returns which by the way is a great movie! After I got home me and the roomie ordered pizza and watched Saw II...yes TTD it is a good movie. It is def better than the first one, the lighting the filming and the gore were wayyy better. Man I'm gonna have to watch that again and tell me the end wasn't crucial! WOW, that's all I could say at the end. I also talked to my Constant..he got the V-day gift I got him and in his words he "LOVED IT". I was like what you said Love lol he was like yea man I loved it. We can use the dice when I get home (I wrote that in the card) I didn't think he had gotten it but when he said the part about the dice I knew he got it. He said he never gets anything in the mail so when he got that he was like aww my baby sent me something and all of his friends were laughing at him cause they said he's getting soft and he said he is gettin a lil mushy because of me. He found out that he has to go to physical therapy because he was in a car accident. I let him know that I was concerned about him not calling me to let me know he was ok then he said he had been going through lots of things and I told him that's cool but he has to remember that I care about him and he said he is getting use to that but it's been alone for so long he has to get use to having a girlfriend...so yep...it's official. He's my suga (lol)..no more dating, no more meaningless conversation...in his words I'm not going anywhere and he doesn't want me to go anywhere...so we're here to stay!!!!
I might have to go pick him in a couple of weeks cause he requested time off to heal from the car accident and he can't drive or sit too long and I don't want him sitting on a bus or on a train for 3 or more hours when I can just go get him and make sure he comes home safe and sound.

Sunday: Hung out around the house, watched the Celebration of Gospel (you know you need some church in your life, and I'm def looking for a church home so let me know of suggestions you have in this area), I was going to go visit a friend but I kept getting this feeling that I didn't need to go so I didn't. I dont' know why I shouldn't have gone to visit him, but being the I had that weird dream about my Constant and that I am seriously trying to see where this goes perhaps my conscience was like aight girl you don't need to be over there and I'm gonna bother you till you listen! Got the hair retwisted so its' all nice and fresh. Went to sleep and woke up to another day on the GRIND.

Ok here are my answers to the questions in the comment section:

1. What are three main things that you would like to accomplish in your lifetime?
a. If I still feel the same way in a couple of years I would like to go to law school
b. Marry and have children (my own and adopt)
c. Be spiritually, mentall, and physically happy (that's hard so you see why it's an accomplishment)

2. How has being a Libra affected my life?
Hmm, I would have to say it hasn't really affected my life but I see some of the qualities that a "Libra" possess in myself. For example I don't really like conflict or getting into arguments and will "bow-out" of one just to have it come to an end. I am also somewhat indecisive which is a thing that Libras are known for. So I would say that sometimes being a Libra comes into play in how I deal with issues around me.

3. How many times have I been in love?
LOL, funny aight if you count puppy love 3. There was my first boyfriend which I had from about elementary school till my senior year in HS (off and on of course), then there was the boyfriend I had when I was a sophmore in college and I still love him to a certain extent and then there's constant....I'm still working that out but I love him just the same lol

4. So you have any regrets?
I would say that my most constant regret is that I didn't learn how to manage my money sooner when I was in college I could have had a nice lil stash (lol) and that I don't always listen to myself when I make a decision..then again if I regret things I can't fully grasp how they have helped me become the person I am right now..which is pretty good if I might add.

5. If you could live anywhere else where would it be?
Now I could be corny and say where ever my constant is lol but I'm not..I would have to say somewhere down south..perhaps NC or GA

posted@9:39am

...I naming this post thirsty thursday because 1. I don't know what I'm gonna write about today, 2. I'm ready for Friday to be here and 3.It's kinda catchy.

Well my goddaughters first birthday has come and gone. I can't believe she is already 1, she is having a bday party on the first weekend in March so I'll be getting her a gift then. Of course she get a toy or something, but I had a epiphany this morning. I want her to know that I love her and want the best for her in everything she sets out to do...so I've decided to write her a letter for her 1st bday. I know she can't read it but hopefully her mom will save them and then when she turns 16 or whenever her moms feels it's the right time she can pull out all the letters I've written to her. By reading them I hope she will come to know that I'm always in her corner and am here to support her throughout the years.

Green Eyes (the crazy, deranged police officer) that I use to date, sleep with or mess around with whatever you might want to call it. Sent me an email yesterday saying that I partied too much which is why he had to walk away from me....umm NOT. So I politely sent him an email telling him the exact dates of when I went out and asking if that was partying alot..coincedentaly yea I spelled that wrong but the brain is already on weekend mode....those times were the exact times that he was out with his boys...so who parties alot..me or you buddy. On top of that if you are serious about spending time with someone it would help if you told them..they can't read your mind..which is what I told him. Then again I don't miss the drama that he brought to my life....subconsciencly sometimes I do..sad I know lol but if gave me something to talk about. Anyway I also informed him that I figured dealing with an older man..he will be 30 this year would be different..yea right....I mean tell me what you want to occur or dont' want to occur I don't read minds for a living. And when you do tell me what you think don't berate or belittle me yelling into the phone like I'm some lil kid..needlesstosay I don't want him back (did I really have him to begin with lol..probably not) I just wanted him to understood where I was coming from...I ain't some lil girl. If you have a problem with me..say it to my face.

I haven't talked to my constant since Sunday..which is of course a problem for me..cause he is forever emailing me when he's out to sea. Half of the reason being is that he's not a phone person..I think the longest conversation we've had on the phone might have been about 30 min if that. I don't mind although I do like to talk on the phone..he makes up for it in person. I was worried about him because he got into a car accident but still went to work..men I tell ya. I am proud of him for pressing on but dang dont' get hurt worse after already being hurt. I'm still dealing with issues about our whole situation....especially us not seeing each other like I would like us to. But hey until he either moves back here after the navy (he gets out in 3 years) or I move back near there or we get married (weird I had a dream about that last night) I'm gonna have to deal with him being away and make the most of our visits when one of us has time to visit the other. He calls me his girl but he has a weird way of treating his girl so I say we are just chilling for the time being until something concrete has been established or am I really running away...hmm too much to think about.

Do dreams mean anything? Cause last night or maybe I should say this morning (it was stil fresh in my head when I woke up which is why I say morning) I had a dream that me and constant got married. Only it wasn't my dream wedding. First he was late, then we got married in my church vestibule instead of the sanctuary and the audience was sitting in the fellowship hall looking into the vestibule. On top of that none of my girls were there except my best friend and even she wasn't dressed like she should have been...all in all it was just plain weird. I mean ok we were getting married, but when I woke up I was like dang this is kinda how our relationship is. He was very affectionate at the wedding which causes me to think that ok he does have feelings lol and he does show them he just does it when he wants to or in his own way and yes I'm dealing with that and coming to accept it..it's just taking a lil longer than I thought it would. But as many females understand once you come to care about someone it's hard to just walk away...you stay and try to work things out..not saying that I would let him walk all over me, cause he hasn't and that doesn't occur...trust me Honey knows better. But I'm so lovey, dovey all that dang on time and he's like that about 50% of the time and it's the 50% that comes up when I least expect it which is the funny part too cause just when I think I'm ready to kirk out he'll do something and he gets me geeking all over again.

I'm going to see my new cousin this weekend. I know he is a cutie....but of course i'm gonna have to deal with the crying of a newborn, the not sleeping all through the night and trying to entertain his brothers..should be boat loads of fun.

I have a date later tonight..yea a date. Me and constant clearly haven't established something..although I have cut a few people lose so I can understand how I feel about him....love,care....etc whatever you want to call it. So me and this guy we'll call KK (I think I've talked about him before) are doing dinner and watching Saw II, I bought it the other day and haven't watched it yet. I'm trying to make an effort to not cut people just because something minut is wrong with them i.e. they have small lips...even though I have a fetish for some big juicy lips, or the fact that they may eat funny.....all of this yes pertains to him lol...so we'll see what occurs. What I do know is that we have great conversation together, although I'm not feeling the urge to be physically attracted to him....he makes me laugh, and that's cool for right now.

I've been reading posts lately where people have been telling the people who read their posts to ask them questions so that they can respond..I thought this was a good idea....so for all you people who have wanted to ask me something or want to know something about me...ask away..I'll do my best to answer all your questions as long as I don't incriminate myself LOL sike I'm playing but for real you can have as many questions as you want and the next post on monday will be a response to your questions..so think long and hard, tell your friends, your friends friends, your momma, daddy sister or brother sike not all them..but you feel me....have fun thinking up the questions..let's hope I have fun answering them...

Have a great weekend.....and I'm OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not literally but I won't be posting tomorrow cause I need a break from thinking (lame huh lol)

posted @9:54

...listening to Jon B..I wonder what happened to him, cause he was a cutie. So I had a 4 day weekend and decided to spend it in Hpt, VA with the family. Let me start by saying that I almost lost myself at work cause one of my bosses (I have two main ones) who is in charge while the other is on vacation tried to act like he didn't know I was leaving early. I informed him that I did tell him while we were in the hall along with the attorney that was going on vacation. So here is a run down of my weekend:

Friday: Got off work early thought it was going to do some good but turns out I still got stuck in traffic. I had to get my transmission changed in the blueberry (my corolla) so I get out the metro and try to leave the parking lot only to find out I am short 20 cents on my card...wouldn't you know that I had to go back into the metro to put the measly amount on my card so i could leave...dang on kids! So that set me back about 5 min lol, then had to go to the car place and they couldn't get to it right away so I chilled till they could and by the time she was all nice and ready it was about 4 something. I had to go home and put some jeans in the dryer since I thought Iwas going to wear them...then I decided that I really didn't want to wear them so I left home at about 5ish....so I get to the bank to get some cash out and discover that I have misplaced my check card.....WOW. So I scamble around the car, trying to figure out what I did with it and then go home and scrounge around the house finally I find it in the pants that I wore to work in the pocket. Aight so now my heart is racing and I'm finally on my way....wouldn't you know that the traffic on 95 was just like someone had announced that whoever got on the highway before 6 would recieve $1 million dollars cause people were out there and were heated if you tried to get in front of them..I kept my head straight and turned up my radio lol and pressed on till I reached my parents house which was around 9pm. Played with my nephew for a lil bit then was passed out.

Saturday: Took my nephew and sis out to the store and what not. Then decided that we would take him to see Curious George the movie. It was really cute and since he's not even 2 yet (he'll be 2 in June) I was surprised that he sat through most of it..except about the last 20 min then he started to get tired and wanted to throw popcorn and what not. It snained at home (rained and snowed lol) so the roads were kinda crucial. I brought Saw II but I haven't watched it yet, will probably watch it this weekend..make a whole day of watching the first one and the second one back to back..should be fun. But anyway most of the day was spent chilling with the fam and just watching tv....the pic is of my nephew after the movie lol..guess it's hard work being a cutie. Went to see my bestfriend and her lil girl. Found out that her baby's father proposed and apparently she didn't say no (her words not mine)..it's so much to that, then again she's my best friend and I told her I'm here for her no matter what and I meant it....we've been best freinds since kindergarten so yea we're sisters and it's gonna take something more than an ashy African (no offense but he is annoying) to make me leave my best friends life alone. My goddaughter will be 1 tomorrow and she is getting so big. Has a lil gap in between her front teeth lol and she is bowlegged I told her she walks like a cowboy (lol) This is her getting into trouble.

Sunday: Went to church with the fam then went to Va Beach to the roomies church and hung around that part of town for the rest of the evening. So I was in church till about 4 something (8am service, 11 service and 2pm service) yea crazy but hey God deserves his time too...then I went to a baby shower. I won a set of drinking glasses..they are cute, have to think of an occassion to use them. Worried about the Constant cause he got into a car accident but apparently he was alright cause he went to work the next day. So had to make sure he was aight before I breathed easy. He is a very stubborn person and since he's so nonchalant I had to make sure that he was really alright before I left it alone. I talked to my mom about him and I told her I was taking things slow cause marriage is something not to be entered into lightly and I plan on being married till I die unless he beats me then I'll beat him and we'll work out a deal (sike I'm jokin lol). She' likes him but I know that it's gonna take some changes for me to be secure in being with him for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong I love my suga to death but sometimes I want to be like do you even notice the days that I don't call you lol...I know he does and he shows he cares in his own way so I can't get mad at that. Found out that roommates boyfriend's apt had apparently caught on fire so I'm assuming she thinks he is gonna stay with us...WRONG...I'll give him till Friday then I'm saying something. But I'm not getting into that cause then this post could become awhole page and a half long. Let's just hope when I say something to her or him that I don't forget she's my friend.

Monday: Slept a lil late and played with the nephew and my goddaughter who was at my house (my mom babysits her). Sang nursery rhymes and all that stuff for about 1.5 hours literally and i'm not exaggerating lol. It was fun though cause I hadn't done that in a while. It's always nice to remember what it's like to be a kid and sing off tune, and run around the house chasing the lil ones. The ex from Texas called me and was chatting about wanting to move up here and what not and wondering what it would be like if we got married. I of course informed him that I wasn't entertaining that idea till lots of things changed one being he become a different person (lol)...ah well..he's cool people and I'm sure he'll make someone happy just not me (smile). I'm glad this week is gonna be short I can't wait for Friday to come..I get to see my new baby cousin and once again be around some family so that should be nice. Hope everyone's weekend was fun filled...back to the grind

posted@11:48pm

Ok, so it's FRIDAY and as you know I tend to get a lil wired when it comes to this day of the week. This Friday is extra special cause I'm leaving work early and I am going to the 757 to chill with the fam till monday night sometime. So in honor of this great day and wonderful occassion I'm about to show a lil side of me that hasn't been shown. I'm not a bad girl, a nasty girl and I wouldn't classify myself a freak. But last night I noticed something.

I love making a man lose control (if ya know what I mean). Ok, let me back track. Out of all my friends that I still associate with from college I was and sometimes can still be known as the quiet one, the one that people don't know too much about cause I keep to myself most of the time. But around junior year of college I came out of my shell and have come to know and love the sexual side of me. Of course as little girls we are taught that we can't be "out there", oral sex is nasty and you shouldn't put your mouth where the sun don't shine (then again it depends on how you tan lol).

So of course when it came to sex, I was like ohh no I'm not gonna do that, I would never try that. And I learned early on from a cousin of mine who is 2 months older than me to never say never. Cause the stuff that you say you would never do can sometimes be the best thing since sliced bread and will have you hunting a brother down in a snow storm. I have yet to hunt a brother down but I have been known to get out of bed when I know I wanted to stay in cause I knew that what I was getting was wayy better than what was in my dreams (lol)

Aight so last night me and HR are chilling. Ok so I have a constant but I'm still dealing what that (I'm horrible I know but constant hasn't made it known that things with us are on the up and up). So we chilling watchin CSI (aww I loved that he invited me over just to watch one of my favorite shows), we are both in the screen analyzing the case and what not..just shooting the breeze. It was his bday earlier this month so I mentioned to him that I wanted to take him out to celebrate due to the fact that I'm out of town this weekend we rescheduled the date night but still decided to hang out. So we watching CSI, then we watch Hustle & Flow (which is actually pretty good)....he shows me his new tats he got while he was in N.O. (New Orleans) and talks about his visit down there and what it looked like...ya know the whole reflection thing. He looking real good after the shower so you know it was on and poppin (in the words of Young & Wise it was on like popcorn) so yea...man he did the dang on thing..brings out a side of me that I sometimes forget it even there. The talking, the moaning, the groaning....gets me all extra hyper so I'm doing more and more to hear him get louder and louder....so I go to "bless" him (that's what he calls it lol) and while this is occuring he is saying dang honey I missed you, dang girl this is soo good, dang Honey, you see that, you feel that girl....I'm like dang (yea I've done it before but it always surprises me when they start talking lol). So I give him what he craves and he is saying I knocked him out.

Now don't think that I just give that priviledge to everyone cause I don't. I don't know where you were last night sometimes I can't remember where I was last night (sike, lol) but anyway....so yea I'm picky when it comes to that. Everyone should be cause if you aren't then you can plan on some surprises that you don't want and a gift that could keep on giving lol. I wonder why when we are little we are taught that some of the things we enjoy now are essentially gross or unhealthy. I mean I guess I would say the same thing to my lil girl or boy to make sure they weren't all over the place doing God knows what and God knows who.....so it's a protection thing..but once it's discovered to be good there's not turning back.

The thing that's funny to me is that he's the one that told me how he likes it done. And nope I wasn't offended. I would rather he tell me what he likes and me work and put my own spin on it than to be down there biting the thing off lol. Some guys like it slobbed down (dang Honey where is all this coming from) some just like the tip licked....so there is a method or is there lol.....it's like a chocolate popsicle that you can't bite but it does melt (deflate lol)....it's just funny to me how when you're doing it right you know...it just get's bigger and bigger and when you're not on top of your game...it does nothing lol....so knowing what I know about Honey.....I'm gonna work on my craft more often if you know what I mean lol.....have I ruined your view of me now (lol)..like I care

posted@10:21am

As promised here is a pic of what my hair currently looks like. The lighting on the pic isn't the best since it was taken on my camera phone so you can't see the color but pics will be takin this weekend (mostly of my ja-ja so you might see a glimpse of it in those lol)

Hmmm....cute...it will last about 2 weeks after they fall. So I'll have my hands out of my head allowing my locs to grow some more. My babies (that's what they are to me lol) will be 4 months old on the 19th and I haven't had a perm since about April 2005. My hair was wayyy short then so once I started to let the perm all grow out it didn't take long for me to be all natural so I've been natural for almost a year...yeaaaaa! Never knew how soft my hair was and how fast it grew when it was left alone.

On to bigger and more pressing matters. Lately I've been thinking about the situation going on in my house (with my room mate). In case you don't know...let me fill you in. Now first let me say that I don't gossip unless it's about celebrities. I only tell my friends business when I'm afraid that they are going insane in the membrane and might need more than my assistance when they come to their senses. I'm afraid something will happen to hear, even if it's just emotionally and I might not be strong enough to deal with it alone if it comes to head.

So my roomie who will be now referred to as T use to date this guy who will be known as Crazy (hindsight is 20/20, if you know what I mean) well she was always at his house, never spending time alone and at first her sis and I were kinda sad that she wasn't with us anymore and if she did go out with us she would either fall asleep (yes, she's fallen asleep at the club) or she would leave early therefore having him pick her up. Then it got to the point where she just wasn't the person she use to be (not saying that a person bettering themselves for love is bad) but she just got weird. He had a lil girl, but then we found out he had 3 more kids and none of them were by the same woman. She didn't tell us this at first and to be honest I could care less, who she dates is her business she is a grown woman. However one day she was talking and then it came up....we made her backtrack and she tried to make it seem like she had told us this before and that we were going crazy. Mind you..she had lied to us before and tried to make it seem like we were dillusional and had gone insane. It's one thing if you lie but please don't make me try to think I've lost my mind when I know I'm not that amnesic. So we started really listening to what she had to say and we would compare what she told us to what she told our other friends and home girl won't even keepin up with her own lies. To make a long story short and I do mean a long story...her and the guy parted ways after everyone and I mean everyone (including her momma and half of her friends) let her see on her own that things were in disarray.

However, right before she broke up with him she met this guy we will call Crazy Jr. She talked to him on the phone and what not...when she got back from the cruise her and Crazy went on (they decided to still go but only as friends since the trip was planned before they decided to part ways) she began to talk more to Crazy Jr. Mind you Crazy had gone so far as to give her a promise ring at Christmas and got down on his knees and what not so yea it was serious. So after Crazy and her split she began a full fledge "love" affair with Crazy Jr. She had told us that after Crazy she just wanted to chill and be young and hang so we were like we're here for you and what not (never saying once that we told you so, what kind of friend would we be if we did say..not saying I wasn't thinking it..i know bad friend) but not even a month later she was wearing a promise ring from Crazy Jr and saying the same things that she said about Crazy..they were in love, this was her future husband and what not. Talking about buying a house together and what not. I'm like great if that's how it should be who am I to be mad at my friend for finding love. Then I noticed that she was getting weird again...yes I know love can make you weird and somewhat blinds you but come on. She started lying again. First she said his daughters mother was dead...then we find out (cause she can't remember her lies) that he was fighting her for custody and they even dropped her off to visit her mother during Christmas (which he told her mom that she was spending with him, they slept in a hotel although he has fam in that area and she paid for most of the trip...she also finds out that he is living with an older woman who is not related to him or his family) so afterwards we say to one another what are they fighting the dead (cause she told us the lady was dead or that's what he told her) she then says lies about how his momma bought him a 2006 Cadillac and she ordered her one too. We have yet to see it and 2006 has more than been here longer than a day. Of course she also tells us that his momma is a relator in like 6 states. Ok, if she is then why you askin all our friends to help you look for information on houses from other friends we know who are realtors.

Come on....man she just be blowing me. Recently we overheard a convo between him and her (only cause she be talking so dang on loud) that he got kicked out of school and he has apparently lost one of his jobs..she said I can't keep on paying for everything..you have to find some source of everything. Now it's one thing to be there for your man and support him when he's down...I'm all for that. But when you've been payin for stuff and treating (as she calls it) ever since you've known him there is a problem. She lets him borrow his car in which he got two tickets then when her mom asked her about it (they got mailed to her moms house) she lied and her momma knew she lied...why lie if it's your car and you make the payments (just be like yea ma so and so borrowed my car, he's taken care of the tickets) you tend to lie when you think you've done wrong...at least I do or did (lol). All of a sudden she has no money now. It annoys me that everytime she sits down to talk to us I can't even bring myself to look at her that's how much it bothers me. I can't even be too long in the same room with her, I pity her and that hurts. She's my friend and I will always be here for her but sometimes it just irks me that she can't see the correlation between what happened with Crazy and what is occuring between Crazy Jr.

Her relationship with him has affected her relationship with her family as well. She and her sister share a car until her sister gets one..I mean their twins very rarely do they go anywhere without the other one..unless it's a date. An agreement was worked out on using the car and what not (I live with them which is how I know all this lol..have lived with them since I was a junior in college...going on 3 years) so before him this was all working. Now her sister has to ask like a month in advance to use the car and even then she sometimes leaves her hanging..I of course have no problem letting her use my car if I'm not using it. But how can she be so inconsiderate and on top of that she asks her sister what she thinks of her "love" now and her sister told her that she depended on him to much and all this other stuff..well T told her sis that she couldn't talk to her about it cause she was always so unapproachable (umm boo I just told you what I think, it's not what you wanted to hear so now I'm unapproabable..WOW)..so now her sis and I say nothing...we just either ignore her when she is raving about him or we let her say what she wants...no point in telling someone they have on two diff socks if they don't see it or don't care or know and still don't care.

He comes over and they head straight up to her room, I'm not saying you have to socialize with us....you her man not ours but dang..we know nothing about it not even where he lives what if something happens to her....we won't be able to do anything. Maybe it's just me and how I like to have people there to look out for me...but my roomies know enough about who I'm dating to be able to show up and save me if things get a lil shady(they even have my sister's cell number and know where my parents live at as do I). He smokes and has our house smelling like weed so much that we had to tell her to ask him to do it outside. He had her car so full of weed that I never wanted to ride in it. I have no problem with people who do that but respect that I don't want it in my clothes or hair. I hated the fact that he disrespected her momma (hung up on her and told her that her daughter was spending that holiday with him and his family even though he knew her momma had just had surgery) and she asked her momma what did she say to make Crazy Jr mad...I mean I would not go for that if someone did that to my moms....you may get a chance at having two mommas but technically you only get one real one....I'll go to war for my momma and I figured she would do that same..guess I know better. I have noticed other things about her. For example her dad came to chill with us for MLK weekend....one night her boo was over..why was her boo sleepin in her bed, she was in the bed with her sister and her dad was on the couch...first I wouldn't have my boo over unless he was from out of town or I couldn't take him home and if he was there when my fam came to visit he would be sleeping on the couch (that's just me and how I was brought up...I can't help it..I know it's old fashion) and I know that if her mom was over she would have made him sleep on the couch as well....

My new annoyance with them is that he has been at our house about every other night within a weeks time and he stomps so freaking loud that it wakes me up. She thinks she is slick cause she will bring him over after she thinks we are sleep.....we had a discussion about her bring Crazy over so much..that we felt he should pay rent. I mean we all grown I don't care who you bring over but we pay rent here not him and if is gonna "move" in then he needs to pay up. I'm at the point now where if she even says something remotely weird to me I might get diarrhea of the mouth...and I don't want to say something that will harm our relationship...cause I know how it is when you are blinded by love and people try to tell you that you are going crazy. I have to let her see it on her own and who knows this might be her "love" But if it was would your love really take advantage of you and would love make you rub your relationship in your friends face would love cause you only to hang with your friends when your boo isn't available...it wouldn't to me..but I could be insane

posted@11:05

..who I am...umm not really. If you've been reading my blog for a lil bit then you should now who or at least somewhat who I am (lol). Of course I'm too deep (smile) to be explained in the blog world but you get my drift...so if ya don't know...I'll give you a second to read a couple of my beginning posts.


SILENCE............................

SILENCE...........................

Aight now back to our reguarly scheduled program. Today is Wednesday and what do I have to show for it. A new hair color...copper red (no it's not that bright lol) it's actually like a brown red, more brown than red and I'm loving it. I was so scared to dye my locs because I heard that they dry your hair out and what not. But I mean hey I figured I would dye them before they became too mature and then it would really make sense not to dye them since it's so hard to get dye out of the center of a mature loc..anywho...to each his own and if my hair falls out I guess I'll just be starting over. So last night I dyed the hair and then got the roomie (who is my own personal stylist, lol gotta love that) to put some rod rollers in so this morning when I took them out it looks like I have lil bantu knots all over...it's too cute(if I don't think so then neither will other people lol). It really shows off my face..I'll have to come back and post a pic when I take one later tonight or before I take them down, or they stretch out lol which ever comes out.

So as you can see last night was chill. The Constant (the nicname of my suga) is in the Atlantic Ocean but he did send me an email letting me know that he hoped I had a wonderful day and that we would celebrate when he came home (which hopefully will be this weekend). It's funny cause after the disaster I like to call Z(who I just knew would be my husband) I never figured that I would care about someone like I care about my Constant. He's taught me about myself and he forever surprises me....even if it's just with the whole singing jodeci and play fighting or letting me know that he's going back to school so he can have a great job after he is done with the navy. But anywho I wrote about him already so I can't do it again...this could get a lil mushy lol....so as you can assume I miss him and care about him...could actually see us having a cute lil baby together but anywhooo....I digress (why does he always get extra mushy when he's out to sea?)

On to other news, someone that I use to deal with called on Monday after me not really seeing or talking to him since New Years. I did call him on his bday which was Feb 4th to tell him Happy Birthday and what not but that's about it (he was in New Orleans to celebrate). So he calls and let's me know he got back safely in town and that he would like to see me sometime this week, mind you at one point in time I could see myself starting something with him and we've always had a no drama policy when it comes to how we are with one another (if you call you dont, we chill it isn't about sex, we converse and what not) which I love. He has a lil boy who he loves spending time with but due to his son's mother he can't really spend alot of time with him. Now there's no real drama, like her calling me or showing up when we are hanging out but there is emotional drama. Because since she has taken him to court and somewhat bad mouthed him, he's been depressed and what not. So he decided to shut himself off from the world and do him, which is fine with me cause no one else can look out for you but you. So I let him be..I told him that I did care about him and wouldn't pressure him to talk about the issues that were bothering him but he knew that I was there for him when and if he wanted to talk..but I did call to check on him and make sure he didn't need anything all along letting him know that I didn't expect him to return my call...just wanted him to know that I was thinking of him and what not(pretty much being a friend). Now the headache in all this comes is that now that I've decided to cut all the nonsense off and focus on my Constant...how do I let HR know this without sounding like I'm trying to get him to hurry and make some moves or sounding like I don't care about my Constant therefore spending more time with HR and leading him on. As stated before it's not about sex with us, we genuinly have a great time with one another.....he's older and more focused so when we talk it can go from then news, to sex to kids to just jokin on things that have happened to us. We also are very open about if we date other people and trade stories about all that...so I know he wouldn't really be mad, it's just that before I decided to focus on Constant i was actually contemplating moving forward in something with him. But stopped because I respected his decision to focus on making his situation more stable....kudos to him. Anywho guess I'll just have to talk to him and see where his head is at and let him know that we are friends and can longer dabble in the sexual aspect of it (lol)....he is my older equivalent..I think its' somewhat true that some women mature faster than men..cause I'm only 23 and he's 33 and believe me I can talk to him all day about anything and so far unlike many of his male counterparts he's managed to stick around for a year and not work my nerves lol.....we do have our "discussion" moments but it's just that a discussion.......it's not so transparent that a decision can be made in under 10 minutes so this is something I'm gonna have to meditate on.

My Ex..Z called and wished me a Happy Valentines Day....now if you read my New years post you know how dirty he did me..so I wasn't in too much of a mood to talk to him, so I called him back when I knew he was sleep lol and left a message. Then again he might not have been sleep he might have been out with him new girl or whatever..I could care less. What he did was a slap in the face and I would have thought he was better than that. But you dont' know everything about someone even if you do think you are made for one another. People always surprise you. It's just funny that he hasn't seen what occured or that it took him this long to talk to me and the only reason that he called me was cause I called him to say hey and see how he was since I hadn't talked to him since I got back in town after my trip down there. Sad, but I try to let people know I'm thinking of them even if they do treat me like crap..lesson learned from this and I've moved on to bigger and better things. Anyway I guess it was my you dont' have to return my call part that made him call me..boo please you didn't really have to, I said it and I meant it. He's all talk and a whole mess of I'm scared to be me person and I have no time for that.

I'm looking forward to this weekend..I get to go home. Hang with the fam, take lots of new pics of my Ja-Ja (my nephew) and Olivia (OJ-my goddaughter). She will be one next weekend and of course I have to be at her first bday party even if it is next weekend and I'll have to drive down from MD cause I'm spending the night at my cousin who is having a lil boy and wanted me to help her. So yep, I'll be down two weekends in a row....great. But I can't miss it and won't miss it for the world. Time has passed so fast, and I seem to only notice it when I see them or look at people who are younger than me lol.

On to other news...what the heck is goin on with the world if the Vice President is galavanting through the woods shooting people (not literally but you know what I mean)...dang who knows what would happen if he was let loose in the hood lol....

I just finished reading this book called a Woman's Worth by Tracy Thompson...it was pretty good about a woman who grew up in Africa and because of FGM (female genital mutiliation) she becomes sexually permiscuous (i spelled that wrong but oh well) and suffers from low self esteem.....then she falls in love with an American, they marry and have a lil girl who he then runs away with so she will not have to deal with the same thing her mother did (the mother knows about it and commits suicide so she doesn't have to face living without her child and her love..not out of anger cause he kidnapped her). Of course there was more to the story but it was great and I would recommed it as a good read....it starts off a lil slow, but it was good. I would love to find out what happened to the lil girl after she came to America.

ah well I think that's all the jumble running around in my head for now...Hope everyone had an enjoyable Valentines Day....

posted@12:13pm

Hope everyone has a wonderful day and for those that don't have a Valentine.......here's a lil something for you:

Let's see what surprises lay ahead throughout the day and this evening. Will I have a Valentine or won't I? Then again I have my very own Valentine every year....myself (smile) So if no one tells me today that they love me...I'm saying it now. Honey-Libra, girl you are so beautiful and I'm so glad that I know you....I love you (smile)

Tonight will definately be chill...my sweetie is out in the middle of the ocean. He has already sent me a love filled email and has let me know that we will celebrate once he is back on land. However I informed him that every moment no matter how short with him is Valentines enough for me (this is what he calls mushy lol). He says he wouldn't trade us being together for anything in the world (awww, I love when he's mushy, cause he's not mushy that often lol)....so be safe baby, I miss you and can't wait to give you more love when you come home

posted@10:33am

Life goes on even when there is more than 2 inches of snow on the ground. Yep, here in the good ole area of Northern VA it snowed over the weekend and to top it off it had the nerve to not continue today..which means that yes...I'm at work and hating it. Here's a recap of my weekend:

Friday: After work went to Happy Hour at Fat Tuesdays in Fairfax for the Young Alumni Association. It was great seeing everyone I went to school with and I had about 5 shooters and some bomb wings and fries...yes I cheated..what can I say I'm gonna have to work extra hard this week so that I can lose a total of 10 by the end of sun (I have lost 7 so far) it shouldn't be so hard if I don't cheat anymore. I've also found out that you have to be careful when you run up a tab on your card (those suckas at Fat Tuesdays double charged me, I ain't got money to be paying double for some dang on drinks) good thing I look over my bank statement daily, cause I was on them like white on rice, like too small underwear on a fat lady (lol) aight anyway needlesstosay the person who handles the books will be in the morning and I will be calling back to have her handle the sitiation (yes I meant to say it like that) ASAP! After that me and the roomie went home and I decided to tackle the task of dying my hair (semi permanent) well as we all know relaxed hair (meaning processed hair) takes to color better expecially semi permanant (also known as a rinse) so my scalp is burgandy and as my friend would say it looks like it's bleeding lol but you can see the color if you look closely and in the light (yea alot huh) but I refuse to permanetly dye my hair until my locs are strong enough to handle it which most likely will be around the year mark. My babie will be 4 months on the 19th (yesss).

Sat: There was a block party at Mason so me and Ween went there and got some free goodies and stuff then I had to meet my godsisters mom to pick her up so she could hang with me for the day and spend the night at my house (she kept saying it's so big lol...kids I tell ya) She's 11 (we have the same bday) and she is too funny, I don't know if it's because we have the same bday but even when she was in TX for a couple of years she didn't forget who I was or anything . It's so funny to have watched her go from a baby to now and she's so grown.....I use to play in her hair all the time and take her everywhere with me. Her mom and cousin came up here to go to H2O that night so she hung with me and I took her with me to dinner. She was oohhhing and ahhhhing all night cause she said they dont' have this in Newport News, they nice up here at home they ghetto lol..she's just so funny.
I told her that she can definately come visit more often. I had a blast with her and the whole time she was like I had so much fun, I can't wait to come back. I always have fun at your moms house so I knew I was going to have fun at your house. Hopefully it will be warmer when she comes so I can take her around DC. We stayed up and watched Enough and then bless her lil heart she wanted to sleep in my room with me. So I let her and I met her mom the next afternoon so she could go see her other godmother and go home.

We had dinner at Maggiano's Little Italy in DC which is all the way down Wisconsin to celebrate Que's bday. I haven't seen some of the girls in a while so it was nice to talk and chat with them over a nice dinner. Plus the servings there are so big that I know I took about 10-15 bits of my food maybe less and I was done. Of course T'nai didn' eat all of her food so she took it home with her and was surprised by how much food she had left...I found out she likes the Cheesecake Factory so next time she comes I'll make sure to take her there. Well with dinner and all the gifts opened we decided that we would go see Something New, with Sanna Lathan. Well needlesstosay we got to the door and it was still snowing and sticking even more than before. It's one thing for me to drive in the snow but I had precious cargo with me (my godsister) and I didn't want to take any chances so after sitting for almost an hour trying to decide what to do we all decided that it would be best if we went home and were safe and sound in case it got any worse.
After we got home...T'nai picked out a movie for us to watch and we (the roomies, me and nai) watched about half of it and we were all passed out on the couch and finally hit the bed.

Sunday: Woke up and saw that the ground was covered with snow and since I had to take Nai to meet her mom I had to shovel the car off. So I did my car, the sidewalk and some of the steps. Man I tell ya, white people be on it. They were out and helping others shovel the steps and sidewalk. We live on a sidestreet so we dont' get the whole cleaning crew thing, it's just us. I took Nai to get some breakfast, met her mom gave her the whole speech about being good and coming back to visit then treked it on back on and finished shoveling the sidewalk and steps. One of the other neighbors came over to help me as well so it didn't take that long. I was heck of bored the next day and why this guy that I use to talk to who lives in B-more called talking about I miss you and I would like to see you but my car is broke down so can you come visit me...I was like ummmm.....umm...I'll think about it. In other words when he called back I said No lol and told him that I haven't talked to him in about 2 weeks which means that apparently he didn't miss me too much and on top of that I hadn't seen him since dang on Jan sometime so he can cut the bull and not try to play me. I won't coming to bmore in the snow unless someone in my family told me it's an emergency and I had to be there STAT!!! So he can kick rocks, but anyway..my suga emailed me a couple of times yesterday. I love the weekend cause he has more time to talk to me and he'll be back sometime next week. Man I hate when he is out to sea but this is the easy part, when July comes he'll be gone for 6 months....how am I going to deal with that...just like I did last summer when he was gone for 5 months (I was sooo excited to go surprise him when he came back, of course he was excited and surprised to see me) I love making him smile (smile) Anywho...off to Hampton this weekend, so that should be fun. I get to see my family and my bestfriend along with my goddaughter who will be one next week. Boy time flies...


Randomness: Why my ex who lives in TX who I tried to get to move here and pass me his resume has all of a sudden seemed to make it his priority to get me his resume. Boo don't bother now, I could care less and on top of that I called him this weekend to ask him about it and did he call back...NOPE but you best believe he has sent me 3 emails today saying hey and I love you and all that jazz..boo it's over. I'll be your friend and if you can't deal with that then we don't need to deal!



posted@11:11am

..well the words are really "It's friday night and the weekends here...blah, blah, hey mr. dj..." I'm sure you know the rest. If not holla at me in about an hour and I might remember then all.

Well be prepared for some randomness cause I got a lot going on:

I came to work kinda pumped cause I mean..it's Friday and for some reason I get a burst of energy when I come to work on Friday. I guess cause I know that I don't have to come in the next day. Anyway needlesstosay at the law firm I work at this season is very busy....the practice group I work for deals with compliance issues and this season is when most of the companies have to compile data for the government so they can be audited and what not on who they hired, fired and increased pay and all that jazz (minorites,females, blacks, whites, ets). So yea we got like 10 audits that have to be defended on the books to handle now and they keep coming in. Which means more overtime (yeeaaaa and boooo) and lots of late night (yes on the money and free dinner, booo on having to see the bosses when I want to be in the bed).

This weekend will be extremly busy.....tonight is the Young Alumni Happy Hour...that should be fun. Drink specials, seeing old friends...cool beans. After that might hang out for a while, then hit the sack for a long Saturday. First we have to get the transmission fluid in my Blueberry changed (my corolla, I call her blueberry), then head to campus for the block party (lots of free food and stuff), then off to Maryland for a Celebration of Life service (this woman at my job has cancer, she kind of looks after me like a mom and her hospice care told her that she should do it since there is no telling where the cancer could progress to) then off to a bday dinner for a girlfriend from college (we will be dining at maggiannos little italy) and I heard we might go bowling afterwards. I also wanted to check out the event that is posted on ttd's blog (I live in VA so bmore is about 40 min away if I can drag one of the girls with me, I'll def try to make the next event my main event for that day).

I'm going home next weekend for the 3 day weekend to chill with the fam.. which by the way is doing good. Here's a pic I took of me and my ja-ja..he is too funny..lookin like he been sippin on some spiked milk. I'm also looking forward to spending the weekend (Feb 24th) with my cousin next weekend cause she is having a baby and her husband (she married into our family) is going skiiing with some men from his church..so that should be fun..just us two with 4 lil boys (WOW, talk about a crash course in parenting) Let's see what else is going on..oh yea I've lost like 5 pounds..alot more to go but I'm so happy with the fact that I'm doing wayyy better than I thought I would be doing right now. I started calorie counting and writing down what I've been eating and it's funny cause i don't eat alot and even trying to eat 1200 calories a day is wayyy much. You'd be surprised how many calories are in those nuggets that I love to eat so much (Wendys) and I've also been tryin to eat by servings now..you know the recommended servings on the packages (instead of eating a whole big bowl of ice cream I try, key word try to eat only one cup of 1/2 cup) It's been a struggle but for 5 pounds in 2 weeks I think I'm on the road to healthier living.

What I also found funny was the fact that technically according to the infamous "white man" I'm really suppose to weigh in at 121pds. Now if you've seen pics of me you know that I have a butt and hips just like any average black girl in fact the women in my family all have betty boop shapes...small waist nice boota (lol) so if I got down to 121pds and still tried to even look like my gene pool should be...I would look like (in the words of KK) a crackhead or in the words of my momma a pencil with a big butt..so I'll stick with being a thick but just toning it up a lil bit. One of my friends was trying to give me pointers on what to do and was like you can have a body like Buffy the Body and I'm like yea as a guy you would say that..but no thanks I dont' want to look like her and why do people feel the need to tell you how to do what you need to do. Boo what worked for you might not or won't work for me...that goes along with when I decided to get locs. Everyone and their momma was tryin to tell me what to do and this guy at work has even stopped me and told me what kind of gel and oils I should use for my hair. I love and appreciate the help and advice but don't try to push it down my throat..dang. What's good for the goose might not be good for the gander (ya feel me)

WOW...Will & Grace was off the dang on chain last night. Not the whole episode but the parts when I kept seeing Will rubbing Taye's back and what not. Then he was calling him Brown Suga and Jack kept threatning to get naked....but the kicker was when Grace found out she was pregnant......DANG! Married and pregnant in the same day...that's some powerful sperm (I know it's not Taye's baby, lol) but this causes a surprise to me cause that would mean that she is going to have to some how find Leo (I missed how he left or if he died so if you know fill me in). I'm looking forward to these last few episodes so I can see how they are gonna end this show. Hmm what else, oh yea I was listening to the news the other night and I heard about this girl who met this dude off of myspace.com and he beat her to death. I tell ya meeting online aint' what it was when I did it freshmen year of college...that's a whole nother post (lol)Let's just say pictures may say a thousand words but seeing someone up close and personal can lead to a billion more and not in a good way.

My roommate (I live with 2 girls who are twins..M & T) the one we will call T, is still with her boyfriend who I consider a joke cause she pays for everything everytime they go out. It's gotten to the point where I said that if she says something to me the wrong way I might get diarrhea of the mouth and say something to my friend that could ruin what we have. I have to make myself speak to her sometimes which is sad but hey what can I say....her situation annoys the heck out of me. I mean why would you date someone and brag about someone who a. lives with another woman who is not in anyway shape of form related to you or even a family friend, b.who isn't taking care of their child, c.who just got kicked out of school because of "family" problems and who d. you said yourself that they need to find a source of income cause you can't keep paying for everything. She's lied to us so much (she said the boys momma ordered him a 2006 Cadiallac and her one too, boo it's 2006 where is the car at) that we dont' believe nothing she says anymore. There's no point in callin her on it cause she will just act like she doesn't hear us. Ah well there is too much to say about that here so let's moving along........

I talked to my mommie today and she got into a car accident yesterday..some young chic smoking a "long nasty cigatette (lol, those are my moms words) hit her Tundra (my mom is 5'2 so it looks funny when she is driving her big truck). But anyway the girl ran the red light and hit the passenger side and when the police got there she tried to lie and say her light was yellow and that my mom ran the red light (now mind you I would have gone off on her) but my mom was like "God is so good there was this man there who was a witness and he told the officer everything he even waited 45 min till the cop said it was ok to go" He said that the light was green and that they all followed my mom when it turned green so if it were red then all of them should recieve tickets..needlesstosay the girl got charged with running a red light and my mom will be getting her truck fixed. My lil sis is going through some drama with her baby daddy (I ahte that word cause he ain't really no real daddy....once again that's a whole nother post). He is in NC right now supposedly with his sister and wrote my sis and told her that they can't live together or get married right now cause she needs to finish school and get a job (in other words be prepared to support him cause he don't have no real job now). She's upset and what not cause she "loves him" and I told her that you can love someone and not be with them, you can love someone and focus on your child and that I can't tell her what to do, she has to make her own decisions just be smart in making them and focus on there future and how making a decision now can affect that future. I know how your first love can be and I didn't listen to anyone when I thought I was sooo in love with my first "boo". It took a lot for me to realize that he wasn't good for me and she will have to do the same.

I think that's about it, if not I guess I'll be back lol

posted @12:28pm

Last night was the annual talent show that we have during homecoming and let's just say that I wish I were Simon and that this was American Idol cause of those people should have been told that "It's a No, you must Go".

The host of the talent show was a comedien by the name of Micheal Blackson. He's from African and he is well known for calling people motha suckas...he's kinda funny. Some of his funniest lines were about how in Africa if you are big you are considered rich so when he came to America he thought everyone was rich. Then he said in Africa sex is pain, here it's pleasure, in Africa you tell your wife to go upstairs so you can "tear" her up and she starts crying, in American you tell her to go upstairs and she be like bring it on. He kept sayin that in Africa it's so painful that they give out bladder infections (wow). Another funny thing he said was about how black he was when he was little...he pulled out this photo album and was like this is my momma and daddy...everyone started laughing. He was like this is my mom she is 49, here's my dad he's 99 and I'm 5. I was like dang lol, but hey he's right people in African we living a long time.

The first person up was a girl who decided to do her own remix of a 60's song from Romeo & Juliet. She was aight. Looked like she could be a hippie but hey what do I know. Then we had a group of guys who just knew that they were rappers cause they had the nerve to have a back up dancer..now I'll give it to her she was hurtin em on her own. Acting like she was in a video but her dancing wasn't really going with their rap, but what do I know. Plus home girl was about a size 0 so everytime she pop locked I felt sorry for her cause it looked like her bones were rubbin together....or is that me just hatin cause I got junk in the trunk lol(nah).

Then we had this girl who decided she was gonna play the piano (2 selections) which she was on the second one the comedian came out and started dancing like he was in a ballet cause that's just what it sounded like (classical music) I was about to go to sleep, but she was pretty good....now for the main reason I was cracking up. This guy who I guess thought he was Omarion/Usher/Fantasia (lol) came out. He was a cutie till he opened up his mouth and sang. Cause he was singing hard like he knew he could sing and if anyone told him other wise he would go off! He was like this is for the fellas cause you know sometimes the ladies don't be treating us right..I'm gonna do my own rendition of it (I said doesn't everyone do their own rendition of songs lol). He started belting out I ain't gonna beg you no more by fantasia. Which would have been aight if he could sing. I kept getting the impression that instead of saying girl (the original words are of course boy) he really wanted to say boy. He had locks which were cute but his eye brows were arched so high I thought he looked like a dear in headlights on a wooded road (WOW)

The winners of the talent show were these two girls who sang Weak by SWV..they did pretty good. I told my roomie I'm glad these underclassmen know how to go in the studio and take out the singers voice and put theirs over it but they need to be in class....everyone can't be in the studio (lol).

So all in all, it was better than the Monday night event, although the rappers kind of irked me. The comedian was funnier than the monday night host (who could barely hear, cause she kept saying what the hell ya'll talkin about)..he even cracked a joke about this old man in the audience and asked him if he was a 30 year senior (you had to be there lol) he said that they would throw him a prune juice party graduation..then he was talking about having bad breath and what not.....and how his brother said he was smart but he asked him what yield mean and he said go slow, why his brother was like...wwwwhhhhhaaaattt doooooeeeessss yiiieeeelllllld mean LOL now that was funny.

Randomness:I wonder if dreams are any inkling of things to come, cause I dreamed my sister died (eek) and I woke up this morning crying and my pillow was soaked. I need to call her to check on her.


posted@9:52am

He's been in my life as a friend and more through an ex boyfriend and numerous other dating experiences. I've been in his life since he has cut off his hair (oh how I miss it) and joined the navy. In the beginning we had a weird relationship. I would see him out and about...we would talk and if we were at the club we would of course dance with one another occassionally and one night that I got myself twisted I fussed at him about kissing another girl in front of me (first, it was the liquor and second that was when I realized that I cared about him). I was jealous and he informed me that he didn't know I had feelings for him and that she was an ex who still wanted to be with him, but he didn't want to be with her. I didn't realize till that moment that I cared about him and couldn't imagine him not being in my life....corny I know lol, but love and caring about someone can make ya that way.

He's even told me that he knew something was different about me cause he's never ever dated someone with short hair or glasses.....we laugh cause when I first met him I couldn't take my eyes off his lips and to this day he has to tell me to stop looking at his lips (even though I'm clearly not lol) We've been in each others lives through physical and mental changes....me having short hair when he first met me..him having long hair...me growing out my hair, getting braids, dying my hair and now with the baby locs. I tell him all the time that I miss his hair and that when he gets out he should grow it back...I think he likes it short cause I'm not always trying to play in it now lol. The funny part it...as far as physical wise...he's taller than me but when I see him I get butterflies and he's almost nothing like someone that I physically thought I would be with (meaning I always thought I would be with someone light skin, tall and kinda built lol...funny cause honey don't love the gym lol)...he's made me realize that of course love makes things look so much more attractive.

So aight fast forward to now and he has finally admitted (last summer) that he does care about me. He chose to take things slow because he knew that he was joining the navy and not knowing how that would be he didn't want to get into a relationship (I secretly also think he's been hurt but that's a whole nother subject). However he is the type of guy who doesn't really say how he feels (what guy does that anyway lol) and on top of that I'm so touchy feely and mushy as he calls it that when he's that way it surprises me. He recently met my parents when I went to see him come back home from being out to sea for 6 months. My mom was like "Oh it's so great to meet you, she talks about you all the time"..great mom just embarass the heck out of me. So we finally had a face to face talk about was going on with us. If he really felt like he could be in a relationship and that he knew how I felt about him (I had told him before that I cared about him and although he blames it on the alcohol I had once told him that I loved him lol)..that he shouldn't feel that he had to be with me....he said he didn't. He just knew that I had been there for him and stuck by him as a friend and more and never pressured him..and he knew that even if he had to take a chance on being hurt that we should work at being together.

It's still confusing with us.....cause we chill when he comes home (to DC) and if he's not working or out to see we chill when I'm at home (757 area of VA). But I've decided that I'm gonna eliminate all this extra dating or whatever the heck you would want to call it to spend time with my constant....and if things work out then they do and if they don't then I will use what I've learned from all this in whatever comes next. If I recall correctly he has signed up for 5 years in the navy which means he will be out in 2008. Since he's been in the military I've seen him grow and change for the better and it surprises me everyday at home much he has grown...and I tell him all that time that I'm so proud of him. For example he only did 2 years at VSU and he's taking classes while he's in the navy so that when he gets out he can have a plethra of jobs to choose from.....when I first met him, he said college wasn't for him. He has also talked about wanting to be an officer in the navy..which of course would mean that if we did end up together that the military would now become my life (hmmm). (Yea this was a chill pic, shows that he loves me even when I'm torn up lol)

Of course we've talked about marriage and babies but we've both decided that taking it slow would be best, especially since he's out to sea so much right now (3 weeks out of every month then in July he leaves for 6 months to go to Iraq) and that we have all the time in the world (but ya know I ain't waiting forever lol). We've talked about what our lil girl would look like.....about my complexion with a butt for days lol and big lips like her daddy and we laugh cause we know we will have to snatch her off the streets at 5 (lol, sike I'm jokin). When he visits me we play fight, he tells me how beautiful and sexy I am to him, we sing jodeci and since it's 2006 he insists that it's time I hold him lol. My roomies laugh at me cause as much as I complain about him not being so affectionate.....I am MIA whenever he's in town.

That's my suga and until someone proves otherwise..he's my constant. In the words of the PSD(Pussy Cat Dolls) I'mma stick with you forever. Through thick and thin, rain or shine, come hell or high water...I know he's always there for me and I'm here for him. I look forward to sending him lil cards, letters or emails when he's out to sea to let him know I'm thinking of him and I smile everytime I see an email from him. Valentines Day will be chill because he's gone and at this point he's the only one I could see spending time with..but you best believe that when he comes back the week after....it's on and poppin (wink)

posted@11:10am

since I'm working on my cursing I am saying Fudge...love it or leave it lol. Anyway, I got the surprise of my life when I went back to my alma mater (George Mason) for a Homecoming event last night.

My roommate and I were on the program board and in NAACP while we were in college so we try to go back when there are events just to show our support and to see old friend and all that other stuff. Well last night they had an event called Wild N Out which was loosely based on the MTV Nick Cannon show. Now personally I do watch the show, not faithfully but if I don't see it on during the week then I catch it on the weekend.

If you watch the show you know that it's a type of improv show where they plays games and then joke on one another in order to get points therefore winning the game. Well last night I caught a glimpse of something so horrible that it made me feel 1. Old and 2. Like I should be talking to the president of the university about how the hell these kids got into the university (lol)

First it was sooo unorganized, besides it not starting on time the so called hostess was walking around before the show started trying to get people to offer suggestions on what stars the particiapants could protray in one of the games during the show. Now she could have done this before when people were walking in the door, or even the week before the event she could have stopped people in her class or walking in the Johnson Center, this would have cut down on the time that people were looking around and talking all loud and would have allowed to the event to start on time and also create the illusion that they knew what they were doing.

Then on top of that there were several times during the game that they particiapants cursed..now I have nothing against people that do that especially since I'm working on that myself but the thing that bothered me is that Mason has always prided itself in events that occur during homecoming week to be family oriented especially since many Alumni come back and bring their kids and what not. Now they were like Motha F'er and saying A** and what not then on top of that and this is the kicker....it's Black History Month and although we should always try to advance ourselves during Feb you should especially be on top of your game...anyway they were throwing the word n**** around.

I was like dang Coretta just died and they are no longer associating that word with blacks in the dictionary but I mean WOW...then the only girl on one of the teams had the nerve to say get these N****'s off the stage they look like the Katrina victims.....GASP!!! Everyone was like BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(lol) it was funny cause she got booed but not funny cause someone in the audience was really a part of that. I was like dang she bout to get lit into lol and then during another part of the show they said the might want to talk about homosexuality. Everyone was like no..cause there are too many peopel in here with too many views and we all knew that someone would A. be offended and B. another person would take it too far. I was like dang these kids needs some diversity training. Then there was no clear understanding of the rules, the score keeping and the host kept yelling out into the audience and saying what, what (she was from the 757 and I am as well..I kept sayin no she ain't, no she aint' and then was informed that she is from Norfolk, which would explain why she was sooo extra ghetto lol, no offense to Norfolk people cause I have fam from there but oh girl was irkin me)

So in short I could write more but they irritated the heck out of me and sad to say I am kinda anxious to see what the talent show will look like tomorrow night....errr. They need lots of help and clearly need to be in class more...lol

posted@11:22am

As usual I can't go anywhere alone or with a room-mate or friend without encountering some craziness. Here is what my weekend consisted of:

Friday: Got off work and decided that I would do laundry and clean. I was going to hang out with a new found friend that I met a couple of weeks ago but I feel asleep and oh what a great sleep it was.

Saturday: Had to go to MD cause my cousin is having a lil boy and they gave her a breakfast baby shower at the Golden Corral at Arundel Mills. So of course I dragged the roomies with me and we ate, played games and chatted it up with the rest of the people who were there to celebrate this wonderful new life. It's funny cause she looked like she was about to pop but homegirl was dressed too jazzy to be ready to drop in 3 weeks (lol). On top of that between her and my cousin (she married into our family) they already have 3 boys so this will make 4. I asked her if she was going to try again she was like yea I want a girl...more power to ya sister lol. But I know one thing those boys will take care of her being that she is the only female in the house. After me and the girls left there we went home (it was raining so great nap weather) and as I tried to take a nap movies kept coming on TV that I wanted to watch. First The Lovings came on (Lela Rochan & Timothy Hutton) . Which is about the trials and tribulations of an interracial couple who marry despite it being illegal for them to marry in VA. They are arrested on their wedding night and from then on drama follows them until they are forced to move to Washington in order to lead a "normal" life...of course it's not normal but hey what does "masa" know. Anyway it's one of the movies that I love watching when national television feels the need to remind black people that we have soo much to be greatful for (saracasticly) how convienant that it occurs once a year and in February (lol) anyway I digress....then the Rosa Parks story came on...which stars Angela Bassett....I watched some of this but didn't watch all of it..I don't know why it couldn't hold my attention but ah well I'm sure I will catch it again. After that I took it upon myself to twist my baby locs myself. I also counted them and I have 91..I'm thinking of finding a big one and making it two so I can have an even amount lol. Man needlesstosay my arm was tired and I was like dang I can do this but I would prefer it if someone did it..good thing my roomie does hair, but if she ever can't do it, isn't there or just doesn't feel like doing it..I can do it myself (yea!!!)

After that one of my roomies asked me and her sister to go with her to a birthday party in old town alexandria before we were due at another bday party in DC. So we decided we would go with her and then just roll out to the DC bday party. First I should have known something was up when she told us that it was for one of her friends at her job named Amy....now I love me some white people but sometimes I wonder about them. I also love bars and out of the way spots cause sometimes that's where you have the most fun..I don't always have to be at a club. Anyway we get to this place and find out that it's an Irish pub....we walk in the door and there are two floors....as soon as we walk in why did all of the heads in there turn towards us like "why these black girls just walk in here" I lie to you not that if it had been anywhere further down south I would have turned on my heels and ran back to the car. I mean they were giving us the ice grill stares....and on top of that they had some dude who was singing on the mike sounding like he straight needed to be back in Ireland and during the course of the night he had the nerve to sing Lean on Me......WOW...so Amy is telling us that they were going to a karoke bar and what not but the rommie told her we had somewhere else to be..I'm like yea aight even if I didn't I don't think I could stick around too much longer. But while there I did notice one thing about amy and her friends which caused me to think of a difference between some whites and blacks. About 30 min after we got there Amy and her friends were gonna pay their ticket and go downstairs so each person was giving their money for what they had and what not. I'm guessing from what I saw that one girl was taking care of Amy's drinks since she was the bday girl and the bill was like $120 or something like that.....well they kept counting the cash and what not and one of the dudes had just gotten up and left the table and of course he didn't come back, so they were short. One girl pulled out her credit card and just put it on her card and kept the cash...now if that were me. I'd be like uh huh were oh boy at let's go find him cause he bout to get beat down or I would have told him nah we can get you change from the waitress so you dont' have to leave till we settle the bill. Or I would have divided up the bill to begin with so that kind of thing wouldn't occur.

Aight so after that disaster and feeling like I was being mentally lynched we left to go to DC for yet another bday party. I thought this one would be better cause I mean it's DC lol. Yea well I was wrong. The spot was a nice like restaurant that was a club at night and when we first got in there not alot of people were in there which is cool cause we got there at like 10 something. We sat down got a drink and just chilled listening to some house music (which is trance lol) after a while I was like aight when is this DJ gonna switch up the music...he kept sayin I'm gonna hype this party up..yea I should have known there was gonna be a problem once he said that lol. Well he didn't play good music till about 12 something and by that time some more people had shown up but my ears were hurting. We didn't have to pay to get in which is why I was aight cause I would have been heated if I had paid..so no harm no foul..it was just a waste of time.

Sunday: Slept late and decided that I would watch Glory (Denzel Washington & Matther Broderick). This movie is about the 54th Regimen(an all black volunteer regimen) lead by Col. Shaw. I love this movie...not only because Denzel was great in it, but because it deals with so many issues and the way the characters are protrayed in certain parts always makes me cry. For example during the whole movie we know that Denzel's character is very hard headed and stubborn and was beaten because he was going to look for better shoes (his feet were torn up). Well at the end of the movie there is a part where they are putting the bodies into a burial site...and they throw Col. Shaw's body in and then Denzel's......as he is falling he falls right onto Col. Shaw's shoulder. I mean how weird is it that two men who clashed so much during most of the movie..die together and on top of that die beside one another...WOW (I was in tears)...even more so I think I cried hard too when Col. Shaw got down off his horse (literally and figuratively) and fought side by side with his men....if you haven't seen this movie it of course is a must see. After that I decided that I would organize a lil..since I have baby locs now..I have mad hair stuff and need to keep it all in one place...so off to the Dollar Store..which is a great place to get containers..and I'll probably be back there in a couple of days to get some more for my bathroom and hall closet. Anyway after I did that, me and the roomie (her sister who is my other roomie was off with her nonsense of a man, a whole nother blog topic and did she ask us to go....heck no but we always invite her....losers lol) had to decide what we would be doing while the Super Bowl was on. We ended up in DC at her co-workers cousin's house. We were the only 2 females there amongst a group of men who had me crackin up the whole time. I think they assumed that we didn't know what was going on. I mean I may not know all the players on the field but I do aight once I get a couple of questions answered (lol). While there of course one of the guys I had met before and he voiced his observation that I looked nice and that he was happy to see me again and he was very attentive...we'll call him KK. Well anyway he made it a point to say that he wanted to take me to Jamaica and I laughed...I don't need someone trying to make it seem like they got it like that...I'm not gonna throw myself on you just cause you mention Jamaica..so he said that when he gave me a ticket I wouldn't have nothin to say and I said you are correct I won't (lol). I'm sure you're like well what's wrong with him......aight this might sound corny but it's his voice...I don't know what it is but it sounds like he has a lispe one moment then it sounds normal the next. I mean it annoys the heck out of me, which is also annoying cause he's really nice and when we hang out we have a nice time, on top of that I have a lip thing..I love nice, soft, juicy sexy lips and as I would call it he has white people's lips lol...I can't suck on those. But I don't think I can totally cut him off cause I mean my mom said when she met my dad she thought he was corny..so why stop a potential great friend or my future whatever just cause I am somewhat irritated by his voice lol

So after the game we stayed and watched a lil Flava of Love..man that show cracks me up and watching it with a group of men is even funnier. All I kept hearing was dang she fine, yea he should have kicked her out, dang I would love to be him right now. But we all did agree that we liked Hoops....after that me and the roomie rolled out, went home and I passed the heck out into my bed.

Another Monday (another day in the trenches)


posted@10:14am

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Will & Grace. Well I've been a slacker in watching the episodes on Thursday cause I usually watch them at 11:00 pm on Lifetime, but anyway since this is the last season of the show I decided to watch the Thursday night episodes till it's over.

A few months ago I was watching Will & Grace and there was an episode where the gang (Jack, Karen, Will & Grace) were going to the Sound of Music Musical that was playing (I love this movie by the way). Without going into the whole story line which is very funny might I add...Will meets this guy in a cafe (he's actually suppose to be meeting Grace at the theater) make a long story short he talks to the guy and finds that he really likes him. Of course Jake and Karen get into something because Karen threw a flask over the balcony and it hit someone so they are running from the theater staff and Will has to come to their rescue. Which means he has to leave his new crush.

Last night I gathered that from this one meeting he had fallen head over heels because he was telling Grace that he kept seeing the guy and he kept wondering what would have happened if things had been different and what not. I've had that happen...seen and talked to someone and then lost their number or even forgotten to ask for their number and wondered what would have become of us if things had worked out differently. Well wouldn't you know that while all of the Gang (all of them including Jacks son, who is going to college in CA) is on vacation they run into Will's crush who is none other than Taye Diggs (the chocolate man candy from The Best Man, Brown Suga and Rent).

SILENCE....yea I was shocked when I saw the first episode that he was in and I was like noooo, why they got him playing a gay man and a gay man who is gonna potentially date Will at that. I mean dang, he could have dated Grace or Karen (Gregory Hines has dated Grace on the show I mean wow) but I got the shock of my life when during the episode they rekindled and Taye found out that he would have to go back to Canada (sigh) because his green card feel through. What to do, what to do. Well Will gets sad so he decides to go back home therefore ending his vacation early. He can't stand the thought of wondering what if and letting his guard down only to be hurt again. Grace asks him how does he know Taye (not his name on the show) doesn't feel the same and what does he even know about this man (pretty much being a friend).

Well Grace goes and finds Taye and talks to him finding out that he feels very deeply for Will just as Will does for him, he finds out that Will is packing and goes through this whole speech about Will's favorite color and what he calls his shirt board and what not running out of the lobby to go up to Will's room and runs smack dab into you know who...WILL. Well they commune and talk and are sad about saying good bye.....well while both of them are saying they would love to see where this could go..not knowing if it would go far or just be temporary they both stated that they did want to try, but how could they do that with Taye being in Canada (which Grace says isn't even a real country lol). WELL..........Grace says she will marry Taye, they ponder this and yep sounds like a good idea to them......Grace kisses Taye and yep you guessed it he (Will) proceeds to KISS (yes you read right) KISS Taye.

SILENCE........CRICKETS.....spit dropping out of mouth.

Now all of this is not because two men are kissing..I've seen that before. I live near DC and must I say I am a very open minded person and know that I can't judge (I am not God) plus it's all deeper than that (lol) too deep for a Friday. But anyway all of that is because I can't believe Taye kissed Will, I mean he's black he's a fine man and the first thing my room mate said was.......How much did they pay him to do that? Which is what I was thinking when I saw it and the time I saw Set it Off and Queen did it.

I mean how far would I go as an actress in a show....of course I would realize it's all acting. But I mean would I kiss on the cheek or a light peck on the lips (like Sug Avery and Whoopi in the Color Purple) or would I tongue a woman down for a paycheck or to prove that I could care less about people thinking I was a lesbien? On top of that how far would I go for a friend who has a new found crush but for some reason can't as in the case of Will and Taye. They couldn't get married cause gay marriages aren't legal as of yet so Grace decides to be a friend and marry him. Mind you these men didn't say they loved one another they just wanted the opportunity that most of us want to do but don't ......see if it could flourish into something. I mean would I marry someone from a different country just cause my friend wanted to see where things would go....that's deep man.......so the question of the day is "How far would you go"


posted @9:45am

Blog Name: Honey Libra

H- You have a very good personality.
O- You love foreplay.
N- You get let down often.
E- You love someone soo much that it hurts.
Y- You make every experience great.

L- You always make other peopel smile when you smile.
I-Love is something you deeply believe in.
B- You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people.
R- You are beautiful and sexy.
A- You're a hottie.

My real Name: Danielle

D- You have trouble trusting people.
A- You're a hottie.
N- You get let down often.
I- Love is something you deeply believe in.
E- You love someone so much that it hurts.
L- You always make other people smile when you smile.
L- You always make other people smile when you smile.
E- You love someone so much that it hurts.


WOW, they are similar it's scary..was I meant to be a LIBRA or what...Honey comes from my complexion (lol)

A-You're a hottie
B-You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people.
C-you're wild and crazy
D-You have trouble trusting people.
E-Y0u love some one sooo much that it hurts.
F-People totally adore you
G-You are very friendly and understanding.
H-.You have very good personality and looks
I- Love is something you deeply believe in
J-Everyone loves you.
K-You like to try new things.
L-You always make other people smile when you smile
M-Success comes easily to you..
N-You get let down often
O-You love foreplay.
P-You are very friendly and understanding.
Q-You are a hypocrite.
R- You are beautiful, and sexy.
S-People think you are so sexy.
T-You are one of the best in bed
U-You are really chill.
V-You are not judgmental.
W-You are very broad minded.
X-You never let people tell you what to do.
Y-You make every experience Great.
Z-You're Super cool.



posted @12:03pm